Oh my God, this is my first Yaoi/angsty story and I'm really excited. I know some don't like yaoi, and that's not a problem with me at all! But I ask that if you don't like yaoi then don't read or if you decide to don't leave nasty comments and reviews. I've read plenty I don't like and been respectful and said nothing. Please do the same.

Anyway, a little info, this story is rated M and has some... pretty F'd up things in the later chapters. This story is going to be going slow and steady because I want to make it a long story. I will appreciate some patience from you readers. I promise, you will NOT be disappointed!

Here's a brief summary: Shuuhei Hisagi is struggling to make ends meet with his new home and job which is slowly plummeting. Desperate for love and confused about himself, he seeks out a relationship and later becomes attached to a waiter at a café down the street. But when the blond waiter's past becomes more and more clear, will he still want to be with him? And who is the mysterious author that keeps sending the paper anonymous entries? Can Shuuhei get his life in the right track, or will all end in disaster? GOD! I can't wait to get this started~!

WARNING: Story contains sexual situations, language, angst, blood, and suicide (especially in later chapters)

First chapter is pretty short, but it's just the beginning! My first very dark fanfiction! Please enjoy!

It was Monday morning. Hisagi surprisingly had enough time to stop at a local café in the nearby town he lived at. Usually he would wake up a little later to his likings and he'd have to rush to get to work. But today was different. Today he had time to relax in the morning before facing work and his boss.

He entered the tiny facility and one of the waitresses sat him down at the small table. Shuuhei pulled out his laptop from his bag and placed it on the small table in front of him, opening it and quickly started to type.

'Price of silver went down... damn...' Shuuhei dealt with exchanging silver for money when he got the chance. He bought it from others and sold it again. It was a small profit on the side from his actual work. It didn't get him much, but helped pay his bills in the long run. "If that's the case the silver watches I have won't sell for the original price it was a few days ago..." he said to himself.

"Hello," a shy voice came from beside him. Shuuhei looked up. A tall blond-haired man stood in a standard waiter uniform. White shirt with long sleeves, long black dress pants and a black apron tied around his waist. His long blond bangs covered his left eye. "I'll be your waiter. What would you like?" he asked politely.

"A cup of coffee." Shuuhei answered. The man wrote it down on his pad.

"Anything else?"

"No, but thank-you." Shuuhei replied and went back to his laptop.

"It'll be out in a few minutes." he said as he walked away. Shuuhei was still a little upset about the price drop of silver. He was lucky enough if he got any gold to sell. Last piece of gold he sold was a few years ago, which got him the house he was currently living in. Sure his job was paying it enough, but this was what really got him by. If this crashes, he'll be low on money and somewhat lost.

"Hmm..." Hisagi pondered as he fondled the chain around his neck. This little beauty was the most expensive piece of sterling silver he had. He received it from France. It was expensive, and he ended up liking it so much he decided not to put it on the market. Now he was wondering if he should...

"Here you go." a small cup of coffee was placed on the table next to his wrist.

"Thank-you." Hisagi thanked the man and the blond put a piece of paper on the table, which Hisagi knew it was the bill.

"No problem. Have a nice day." the man smiled and walked away. Shuuhei quickly gulped down his coffee and put a tip on the table for him. It was getting late and if he arrived even five minutes early, his boss may give him hell. He returned his laptop to his bag and stood up. On his way out the door, Shuuhei noticed the man who waited on him limping towards one of the tables. Was he always limping? He didn't notice it when he was near him. With a worrisome frown, Shuuhei left the café and drove off to his work.

Shuuhei clocked in and got to his desk. He took out his laptop and got right to work. The building Hisagi worked for made a good sum of money, but all of that went to keeping the building up and running. His salary was good. He was able to afford his house, his car, and feed himself everyday, but there was always that fear of being laid off in the back of Hisagi's head. Shuuhei's job was a newspaper business. He reviewed and did summaries of articles or things that happened in the county he lived in. It was a pretty good selling paper, but there was the competition to deal with.

"You're early," a deep voice said behind him.

"Yes, sir." Hisagi answered, not taking his eyes off his laptop's screen.

"Good. Don't forget about the meeting today, Shuuhei." he said.

"Yes, Kensei." Shuuhei answered. Shuuhei's boss was Kensei Mugumura. This man was like a brick wall. He was tough and pushing, but Shuuhei knew he meant well. He wanted to keep everything going smoothly. Shuuhei didn't mind. If it weren't for Kensei pushing him, he wouldn't have gotten a promotion last year. He was proud of it, but at the same time felt a little overwhelmed.

"He's right. You are awfully early." another voice said next to him. Shuuhei rolled his eyes and looked to his left.

"Yumichika, you are always early. Why is it such a surprise?" he asked. The younger male shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. Just not used to seeing you here so early. I mean, I'm always early because I need to look good for the day. You, on the other hand, must be early for one of two things." he said.

"And they are?"

"You're either late all the time and got threatened to get fired, or you're sucking up to Kensei and trying to be a good little boy." Yumichika teased. Shuuhei just shook his head in disgust.

"You're an idiot, Yumichika. How did you get this job again?" he growled. Yumichika flipped his hair.

"Why I'm a critic, remember?" he smiled. "Kensei loved my use of words. Besides, my vocabulary is outstanding compared to everyone here in this building. And you know it." Shuuhei rolled his eyes and went back to his laptop. Yumichika was a critic. Whether it be food, movies, products; anything that this stuck-up bastard could bash about. Shuuhei was okay with him... when he wasn't being a total dick. Shuuhei was in charge of publishing articles and works submitted by the community whenever he got them. Some of them were really good. And others... well, they could be better. The ones that were too "explicit" were rejected.

"I'm early today because I woke up early and stopped at the café down the street from my house. Can I not enjoy what my town has to offer?

"So you find a relationship yet?" Yumichika asked. Shuuhei paused at typing.

"Not yet. Why do you care?" he spat back at him.

"Just wondering. After all, I did find mine." Yumichika bragged.

"And I could care less." Shuuhei retorted. "Now leave me alone."

The meeting flew by and so did the rest of Shuuhei's day. He just couldn't wait to get home. He had twelve other long articles to read. He drove home and got out of his car and went straight inside. Shuuhei's house was small. It was sort of like a Ranch home. He had a living room, two bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a couple of closets scattered around the house along with an attached garage. The front lawn and back yard weren't too big, but it supplied him with enough space to be comfortable.

Shuuhei put his bag down in his room and gathered some clothes to take a shower. It was barely past five o'clock, but Shuuhei was rather tired, and after he got out of the hot shower, he was even more fatigued. However, he still had the articles to finish.

Shuuhei lied in bed with his laptop and went through the articles to read. He was getting bored of this to be honest. These people complained about the same thing. The traffic, the speed limits of the neighborhoods, how healthy school lunches are, how the economy is ruining their lives...

"The economy is ruining everyone's lives..." Shuuhei whispered to himself. He groaned in an enervated irritation. Sometimes Shuuhei felt like telling these people to stop complaining, seeing as most of these people have money coming out of their asses like no tomorrow. It made Shuuhei sick. If anyone should be complaining it should be him. His business just may hit the ground and he'll be out on the streets if that happens. These people don't have to worry about anything like that. Which is why Shuuhei believed they should just shut up and deal with it.

With an agitated sigh, Shuuhei was about to exit out of his laptop and go to bed when he received an e-mail. It was from Yumichika. 'This was going to be good...' he thought. He opened the letter. The subject read,

Got this late-nighter. Review it for me. I'm not good at poetry.

Shuuhei read the bottom attachment.

When the heart you've known

Starts to fade into the dark

All hope is slaughtered...

Shuuhei felt an ominous feeling after reading this. There was no author whom claimed this. And he can't just publish an anonymous work. There may be fighting. Should he approve this and publish it? It seemed pretty damn dark and depressing. In fact, if he posts this, papers may not sell. But he didn't want to reject it for some reason...

"Maybe I'll save this for later." Shuuhei said to himself and saved it to his desktop. He'll ask the opinion of Kensei tomorrow. As for now, he was going to bed. He turned out the light and laid down in bed, staring at the ceiling. Shuuhei was the type to just stare off into space for hours and fall asleep from early afternoon, to very early the next morning. He had a lot on his mind lately. Like the silver's price going down... what would that mean for him in the future? Getting his hands on gold is as common as seeing sharks walk on land. And his job... stocks weren't good in the meeting this afternoon, so that really made him worry. If he loses this job, he didn't know what he was going to do. He didn't want to go back to that apartment life. It wasn't for him. He was too claustrophobic for that lifestyle again. And what Yumichika said to him earlier...

"Ikkaku and I have been together for three years and in another year or so we're getting a pent house in Tokyo. How about you, Shuuhei? Have you even had a relationship before?"

Shuuhei wasn't one to let words get to him, but he couldn't help but let this get drilled into his head. No, he has never had a relationship before... because he wasn't sure who exactly he liked. Back in high school he always got the girls, but never settled with one. In college, he wasn't sure if he liked girls or guys at that point. Now he was confused. He was mixed up and his head wasn't sure who or what he liked. So he decided to stay single. That way he didn't have to confuse himself. Not to mention how socially awkward he is around women... And for years he's done that. But now... he doesn't like the lone wolf life. He thought that being by himself would benefit him in the end, but now it kind of hurt to be alone. Especially with Yumichika bragging about his relationship. The bastard has been doing it for four months now. Shuuhei was close to snapping at him.

'Maybe I should try to get someone... but I don't know who...' Hisagi thought. With a heavy sigh he decided the best decision to do now was the get to sleep. He had to get up early tomorrow morning.

Boring, right? I swear, this will get better. Just give it some time! I promise you won't regret it! Shuuhei's pretty confused sexually, huh? Don't worry, I'll fix that. ;) Thanks for reading, leave a review!