Written while watching 4x22, All or Nothing.
"That was gonna be us someday," Santana says after a while, breaking the silence.
"Hmm?" Brittany asks, snapping out of her daydream.
"That," She gestures to Will and Emma, who are sitting at the table across from them, laughing together and feeding each other pasta.
"Oh. Yeah, I guess it was," There are hints of sadness in Brittany's voice as she realises what her ex-girlfriend is talking about.
"Kinda screwed up that, though, didn't we?"
There's a moment of silence until Brittany speaks. "No, not really. I mean, I know it's over, but like... we didn't screw it up. You went to college, then you went to New York and now I'm going to college. We should of known it was coming. It was inevitable, really. But we didn't screw it up, because it wasn't a breakup with screaming and shouting and throwing stuff. And at least I didn't text you the words 'it's over.'"
Santana laughs quietly, taking a bite out of her pizza. "Poor Sam."
"I missed you."
"I missed you too."
"No, I mean I missed you," Brittany tries to clear up, but Santana's still as confused. "As in I missed being with you."
"Brit—"
"Yes, I know it wouldn't work for us to get back together, 'cause we tried long distance and it got us here, but that's my point, I guess."
"What is?" Santana asks.
"That it got us here. Here, of all places. Breadstix. Where it all began, I guess. Where we officially started dating," her voice wavers a little bit. She takes Santana's hand in hers. "I'm not asking you to get back together with me. That would only end the same way the last one did, but uglier."
"Brit, I will always—"
"Yes, you will always love me the most, I know. Look, all I'm saying is that I still love you, okay? I'm not asking you to run away from your dreams just to be with me and then you not really want to be with me three months later but you can't leave because what will you do without a stable relationship? And then we're gonna get tied down in a way that neither of us wants and we're gonna get married and have kids and I want that with you, Santana, I do, but it isn't gonna work out the way that either of us want it. Even if we do get together, it isn't going to work out. It won't," Brittany says with a sad look on her face.
"I will never get sick of you," Santana replies. "But I get what you mean. We have to be adults here. I love you and you love me, but that's just something that we gotta move past, alright?"
"Yeah, okay," There's a tear running down her face, but she keeps a smile on it.
"We gotta be strong. D'you think you can do that for me, Brit?" Brittany nods.
"Hey, San?"
"Yeah?"
"If you ever come back and we're both single, can we get back together then?" There's hope in her voice, and Santana wants to literally say "aw" out loud, but bites her tongue.
"Maybe. Maybe you won't want me then."
"I will always want you," Her voice is firm, as if she knows it for sure. "I may be an idiot, but if there's one thing that I know for sure, it's that I will always want you. Always."
"You're not an idiot, Brittany," Santana says in a way that's comforting but also as if to set the blonde straight. "You're the smartest person that I've ever met."
"Do you mean that?"
"More than I've ever meant anything in my life," She says with a smile.
"More than when you said you loved me?" Brittany asks with a frown.
"Okay, maybe not more than that. Come on, you should start heading home, it's late. Your parents will be getting worried."
"But I don't wanna go."
"And I don't want you to leave," Santana's voice cracks a little bit, but she ignores it. "But I know if you don't now, you're never going to. So, if it makes it easier, I'll leave first."
"No, don't. We'll go at the same time. That way, neither of us has to see each other walk away," Brittany says, getting up off of her seat and laying some money down on the table.
"Brittany Pierce, that might just be the smartest thing you've ever said," Santana laughs, getting up as well. "On three."
"Three."
"Two."
They both part their lips and say the same word just before walking off in opposite directions. "One."
-xxx-
"You okay?" The voice comes from Quinn, who's standing behind Santana.
"What? Oh, yeah."
"How'd things go down with Brit?"
"Uh, it went okay. We talked about things," she says simply, lying down on the couch. Her and Puck both decided to stay with Quinn over the holidays (Santana's mom was hosting some sort of dinner party and all of her friends thought that lesbianism was a sin or something, and Puck's mom wasn't talking to him for a reason that he wasn't even sure of).
"Such as? Are you back together?"
"What? No. We talked about it and agreed that it would just crash and burn like the last time. But, we did agree that if I ever come home and we're both single..." Santana doesn't continue, because Quinn sends her a small nod as if to say "I know what you mean."
"That's great!"
"I guess. Until then, I just gotta hold on tight and hope for a miracle," Santana says and smiles sadly. "Anyway, enough with my miserable love life. How did things go with you and Puck? And quick, before he finishes showering."
"They went... okay. That's all I can say, really."
"Is it back on?"
"I don't know, maybe. He said he called Shelby and we're allowed to go see Beth next week, and if that goes well then I guess we'll be spending more time together. I hope so," Quinn replies with a happy sigh. "I love him, y'know?"
Santana looks down and then back up at her friend. "Yeah, I know."