Written for the MemoryChallenge on the Harry Potter Fanfiction Discussion Group. All characters belong to JKR. I am grateful for the pleasure of their company.
Memory
Story by Strider
Song by Xenosteel
Challenge by Matt
If it wasn't for the people that I loved
You wouldn't be alive right now.
I am watching you. You are right to pace, you are smart to look over your shoulder. You are not alone, old friend. You are in my sights. I will not kill you like this, because I am not the sneaky, vile vermin that you are. I do not curse people in the back. I am strong enough to stand and curse you to your face.
You always were weak. I should have known it was you, but I didn't. I trusted you. Worse, a thousand times worse, she trusted you.
I am watching you.
It almost amuses me to see you jump. You know I'm here. It's not a secret. When I step out and let you see me, you will know why I've come. That's why I don't curse you yet. That's why I wait. For her sake, you have to know that I've come for you, and you have to know why.
It's the beginning of the end. You were doomed from the moment you betrayed her.
I have become an abomination
Filled with hatred and revenge
Hate has blinded me for many years
It's been a long time. You wouldn't recognize me any more. Back in the day, my only dreams were to outshine my brothers and hold my own with my best friend. And maybe to work up the nerve to steal a kiss from the girl I loved.
I don't wish for those days back.
That boy couldn't have done the things I have to do.
That boy is dead. He has something to do with the man who stands here now, but I can no longer see the connection. The boy got what he wanted. He was Head Boy, he got the girl, and if he wasn't Quidditch Captain, he was at least a Quidditch star. After all, there had to be something left for the best friend to do, right?
Something besides saving the world.
The man that boy became, the man standing here right now, the man standing here with his wand at your throat, you son of a bitch, is dead, too, and you will pay for that, I swear it on their lives. I don't know why you thought it was safe to come here. You must have known, after she died, that I would find you. You sold your soul, or I would have that from you, too. You sold people who were good and decent and clean, and they are gone, but you are here in their place.
Good. You won't be here long. And you won't be leaving alone.
She would hate what I'm doing. She was an idealist to the end, and I loved her for it. When she was alive, we never took revenge. We followed the high road, we stunned instead of killed, we showed mercy. We were the good guys, and we acted like it.
But we are not the good guys any more. We are the bad guys. I was a good man when I was with her, but she is gone, and now I can no longer live the way she would have me live. That's too bad for you, because if she were here, she would have me show you mercy. If she were here, I would want to show you mercy, for the friendship we once had, for the trust we once shared. Because while I have stopped being a good person, I will never be the filthy traitor that you are. I am not good, but I still have my honor.
And without her mercy to save you, honor requires your life for theirs.
In death I realized how foolish we humans are
Waging wars without consent
We're waiting. They are coming, my best friend, my sister, my brothers. We've all forgotten what we're fighting for, but we all know that you and those like you have to die. I would torture you—do you think I've never tortured anyone? It still makes your face go pale, just the very idea of it. You're shaking, like you always did.
Maybe I will, just for the pleasure of it.
It would give me pleasure. Not the true pleasure I once had, in her arms, in long conversations about how our lives would be. She liked to make plans, and I liked to watch her make plans. I liked to watch her do anything. Now I would like to watch you, and take what pleasure I can in that. With her I had a clean, bright pleasure, a deep and abiding joy in life. With you I will sink lower into the filth my soul is steeped in, because hurting you is the only possible pleasure life has left for me.
You didn't deserve a friend like her. And she didn't deserve to die. Most of us don't get what we deserve, do we? She cared for you, and you didn't deserve that. She loved me, and I didn't deserve that. I will make you pay, and I do deserve to do that, and you definitely deserve to pay. It's all so senseless.
I don't know how you got caught up in this. After all they did to you, after what they did to your parents, to the woman you loved, I never understood how you could betray us. How did they persuade you? What did they threaten you with?
History repeats itself, doesn't it? I'll say to you what Sirius said to Peter. Nothing they threatened you with was enough. You should have died, as we would have done for you.
Now you will.
War has destroyed everything I held dear
I never knew anyone braver than she was. Well, I don't know…Harry's always been brave. But she was every bit as brave as Harry was. I'm glad she didn't get sorted into Ravenclaw, though she was certainly smart enough. But she was a Gryffindor to the core, even after we left school. I've been brave, too, but only as brave as I had to be. As brave as my best friend, as good as my wife, as strong as my brothers. I've been lucky to be surrounded by people who have made me better than I am. They would have done that for you, too.
You must have wondered why she went into hiding. After all those years of fighting, after a life of never once walking away from a battle, after all the work we put in to be skilled enough, powerful enough. Didn't you ask yourself why she would back away now, with the war so close to being won, with our need for her stronger than ever? It wasn't like her; you must have seen that. Maybe you knew all along. We tried to keep it secret, but maybe you knew.
It was my job to protect them both. That's what husbands do, right? That's what fathers do. My father did it, when he took that spell for Ginny. But I failed. Since I'm here and I'm feeling vengeful, you'll pay for that, too. Don't worry, I can only kill you once, no matter how many times you deserve to die.
I sought vengeance with all I had left
Vengeance isn't much compared to what I had with her, what we had made together. But since she's gone, they're both gone, it's all I have.
I died…
But my memory lingered
I planned this for today. This is my plan. You should have known, all those nights watching us play chess, all those times I beat Harry. I am the strategist in our group. I am a better strategist than Voldemort, better than Bellatrix, better than any Death Eater.
Today would have been our anniversary, and today would have been our child's birthday. You will be my gift to them. They don't want you, and my wife, wherever she is now, will probably cry, but what can I give them? You robbed me of every birthday, every milestone, every celebration. Now there's only death to celebrate. Not life and life's joys. Only death, and make no mistake, today I will celebrate yours.
You can hear them, can't you? Oh, yeah, those are your new friends. They've come to save you. But they're being followed, by your old friends. The friends you betrayed. You won't be alone when you die.
Memory of life
This is for my child, who I never knew.
Memory of love
This is for my wife, who made me a man
Memory of hate
It's time. Goodbye, Neville.