Title: Some Call It Irony

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: None really. Peripheral Sasuke/Sakura.

Rating: PG-13.

Word Count: 752

Summary/Description: Itachi, meet Shisui. The Second. (It would be sorta counter-productive, to massacre the entire clan, and then go and save one of the new members.)

Warning/Spoilers: Crack. Stupidity. Intentional OOC. A bit of language. I'm not joking about the crack.

A/N: Sorta a sequel to Bad Karma. This time, it's Fujiwara-san who inspired me to continue the crack. Please point all fingers thither.

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to more or less sane people. Which rules me out.

Uchiha Itachi was in a Dilemma.

There he had been, morbidly walking the streets of the Uchiha complex, wondering whatever he had done with his stash of puppy skeletons, casting ominous shadows that would sure freak the shit out of the children playing nearby, and just generally minding his own business, when he had happened upon the dock, and a little boy sitting at the edge.

One glance and he knew that it was one of his nephews (Sasuke sure was doing a dandy job with that 'rebuilding the clan' thing). There was no mistaking the hair, or the eyes, or the stance of a Professional Brooder.

One glance also made another thing evident: the kid was gonna fall. From his viewpoint on the small hill nearby, he could see that the boy was making splashes in the water, and leaning over quite foolishly to watch them. He couldn't have been more than four years old; one small gust of wind would tip him right over.

He'd been about to settle himself down on the soft grass to take in the show (hopefully the child would drown quickly; Kisame had made muffins today, and if he didn't get back soon, those bastards would clean up quicker than Tobi could make a fool of himself) when a little girl with dark hair and bright eyes came running towards the dock. Mikoto, if he remembered properly.

"Shisui!" she called out, and Itachi gave a tiny start. "Shisui, you know Otou-san said you're not supposed to be at the edge!"

The boy frowned belligerently, stuck out his tongue at his sister and did not budge. Itachi couldn't help but be mildly impressed. The boy sure had more backbone than Sasuke had had at four.

Mikoto huffed.

"I'm telling," she said in a sing-song, and ran back the way she came. Nonplussed, the boy – Shisui – turned back to the water and began splashing anew.

And therein lay Itachi's Dilemma.

He could, you know, just let the child drown, as he had originally intended. Or even better, he could give Shisui a hand in getting into the water (read: kick him in), wait until the other kid alerted Sasuke, and watch as his little brother frantically tried to save his son, and then angst himself into a coma when the kid died anyway.

But then again… damn it if he didn't feel a little sentimental, hearing the name. Shisui. The child even looked like his dead cousin. And it sure would be a bitch if he were to drown just like, you know, the first Shisui. There was a word for that…

Irony. Right.

And technically, he was the kid's uncle, and should be looking out for him. Not sitting waiting for his possible demise. Or possibly helping him along in his possible demise.

The wind picked up speed.

But hey, that hadn't stopped him from killing the other members of his clan. And since when did he have a conscience? Besides, it would be sorta counter-productive, to massacre the entire clan, and then go and save one of the new members.

The kid leaned forward.

But logically, it wasn't any real fun, killing little kids. He should at least wait until he was fourteen…

Shisui was perilously close to the edge.

"Ah, shit," Itachi snapped to no one other than himself, and stood up.

"Shisui! Shisui! Are you okay?" Frantically, Sasuke shook his cold, sopping wet son until he rattled to the bone, hoping to shake him out of his unconsciousness. It would be days later until he figured that he should've just used CPR.

"O-otou-san?" the small boy managed to cough out, water dribbling out from between his lips.

"Shisui! Thank God!" He hugged his son close to his chest in relief, and had to resist the urge to pet the Uchiha crown jewels lovingly. Sakura would've castrated him if he'd let their son drown. "What happened?"

The boy struggled to sit up, briefly noticing his older siblings crowded behind his father's back. He took a moment to clear the water out of his eyes and mouth.

"Well..." he began slowly, "I was sitting at the dock, and playing with the water, when a man came up behind me and kicked me in."

"WHAT?" Sasuke snarled, enraged.

"But then," Shisui continued, "the same man pulled me out of the water and lay me out here."

"…HUH?" Sasuke blinked, confused.

Shisui nodded to verify.

"He was wearing a really ugly cloak. …Can I have it?"

A/N: (hands everyone their individual MC-16s) (prepares to be shot)

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