A/N: I found a void of Ian angst fictions with dark themes, so, here it is. I do not own 39 Clues. Period. Summary: Ian's life wasn't prefect, far from it. But, keeping his little sister safe came first. Rated M for abuse, incest, rape, and self harm. Yaoi-ish. Vikram/Ian, Ian/OC friendship. I like Yaoi, deal with it.
When life give you lemons, make lemonade. Nope, not for me. Contrary to popular belief, my life is not prefect. Far from it actually. My life is hell on earth. But, for her, I'll take it.
Who is she? Not Amy Cahill, if she knew, she'd hate me. No, she is my sister. Natalie. If I had to see her as I am now, I couldn't bear it. No longer seeing her eyes light up at the new trends, seeing her in this broken state like I. No, I could not take it. So, I endure it.
He is always there. In my life, in my dreams. In my house. Forever etched in my mind is the image of his face sneering down at me.
He is my father. Coming into my room most every night, getting the service from me my mother will not provide. I cherish the nights I spend alone, though they are few.
My mother knows, she must. I know by the way she looks at me. Like I'm weak. Like the house of straw before the wolf. My wolf comes, he comes every night. His name is sleep.
Sleep is a savior, yet it is also a abomination. He haunts my dreams, making me relive the night on loop. Again, again, each time more vivid, until the morning sun pushes him away.
The morning. Oh, how I relish the sun. It drives the past nights memories away. The sun is my sign of hope. Proof I can survive. Proof God does care.
I am a toy. Broken over and over. Used, dirty, and rotten. I cannot love; I am afraid to. Afraid to be used again. But, for her, I will take it.
A/N: If you hate it, don't review, simple as that. If you like it, or have ways I can improve, then please, by all means, do. Dedicated to Sanity Optional. Because she rocks.