"Still, I have to accept...That I love you..."
"Santana...I just...I don't know anymore." Brittany said slowly, her once bright-blue eyes downcast, focased solely on her hands, fumbling on the stack of books and papers in her grasp.
"You don't know if you love me?" Santana whispered, breathing the question tentatively, her voice so low and quiet, she was surprised she herself could hear the ringing crack that pervaded her tone.
"No-I...I do love you, Santana. I just-I'm just not sure I can do this. You only just decided to figure out your feelings for me, feelings I've had for you forever. But, I'm with Artie now and I can't just breakup with him for you. That's not fair to him, Santana. I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to make him upset." Brittany replied in a small murmur, shrugging simply, her averted gaze eventually falling over Santana's face and staying there, seemingly transfixed by the horror of heartbreak taking place right before her.
"What are you talking about Brittany? It's not fair to him? So what? He's just a stupid boy!" Santana blurted hysterically, her words spilling out along with a fresh wave of thick tears that streamed heavily down her face, running in cascading rivers over her perfectly-sculped cheekbones and down to the lining of her pouty, plump lips. Santana's mouth, usually pursed or shaped into a thin, devilish smirk, quivered dangerously, making her appear strangely vulnerable for the first time, her bottem lip shaking as if a sob was battling ruthlessly to break free.
"Santana, please. I love you, honestly I do. But, with Artie-"
"Screw Artie! He-he will never love you the way I do!" Santana shot back, interupting Brittany quickly, her dark eyes clouding by the taunt glassiness that was sadness, disappointment and something that was unmistakably the crushing, icy-cold weight of utter hearbreak.
It wasn't supposed to be this way, it wasn't supposed to go this far...Ever. Brittany was Brittany and Santana was...A bitch; the whole thing was pretty simple. She had a reputation to uphold, a future to plan. Brittany wasn't supposed to be part of any of it, not in this way. And yet, here she was, making Santana fall absolutely head-over-heals.
"Santana, please, don't. Please, don't cry. I just-just...I can't. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." Brittany muttered quietly, sniffling miserably as a dry, choking sob wracked Santana's body, shaking her and forcing tears to spill out uncontrollably like an unless rain storm. "I am, I am sorry...Please, don't cry, Sanny...I love you, I really, really do..." Brittany added softly, stepping hesistantly towards Santana, and pushing her up against the lockers, the worry of the the few students in the hallway around them not seeming to matter at all.
"Brittany..." Santana rasped breathlessy as the blonde, impossibly close to her, pressed forward heatidly, hard against her body, trapping her easily to the lockers.
"Shut up, Santana. For once, just...Shut up." Brittany whispered hoarsely, blue eyes darting over the black-haired girl's face, evaluating her emotions, taking in her every beautifuly-blunt feature. Her mouth was so close to Santana's, the Latina could smell the hot, sweet breath she was steadily exhaling; it was like an intoxicating drug that Santana honestly did not know that she would ever be able to get enough of.
"Brittany, seriously. I-I...What are you doing...? Come on Britt, stop it..." Santana whimpered quietly, squirming violently and attempting feebly to push Brittany away from her. Her dark eyes darted fearfully around the hallway, clearly nervous, watching as the students passing eyed them curiously. Brittany scowled harshly, looking disgusted and let-down, her lip twisting painfully into a kind of deformed bitter-snarl, like she wasn't quite used to using the expression at all.
"See, I knew it. You say you love me, but you're still so ashamed." Brittany scoffed, never moving any further from Santana, her tone ringing but deftly emotionless and steely-cold.
"I'm not...I'm not ashamed. I just-just...I can't do this right now. Can't we go someplace else, talk alone?" Santana pleaded, her brow knitted tightly together, finally turning her head sideways to avoid Brittany's lips. The blonde's were so insanely near Santana's, they almost briefly grazed mouths on many close occasions.
"Why does it even matter, Santana? My answer isn't going to just change for you." Brittany snapped dryly, her hard gaze scraping gruffly down the Latina's face, trying in vain to catch Santana's averted eyes, to decipher the unknown mystery of the girl through her piercing irises. "I love you, San. But, you waited too long, and now I'm with someone else. Seriously, I'm not going to change my mind just because you've finally figured out what you really want from me." Brittany added faintly, biting lightly at her bottem lip, her blue eyes beginning to steadily drown with glassy tears.
"It matters because...I can't just let you go like you don't even mean anything anymore. I-I...I need you, Brittany. I need you more than I've ever needed anyone. I don't want Sam or Finn or any of those other guys. None of them mean anything to me, they never really have. I just want you, Britt. Please...Please, can't we just talk? I can't lose you like this, I won't. And...you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I am such a fucking idiot for not seeing how much you mean to me before all of this." Santana paused to bring her hand up to Brittany's cheek, caressing the soft, delicate skin there while also distancing their faces from one another just slightly. Brittany closed her eyes for a brief moment, subconsciously enjoying the tender contact. "Please, just...Please." Santana finished, though it was more of a weak sob than words that came out.
Brittany blinked at the Latina for a moment, her face availing nothing resembling emotion or thought in any way. She just stood there, stiff and silent, not saying a word and not batting an eye...
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