AN: Hi peoples! Idea + no school + snow days = this. That is my explanation. But I do thank DaughterOfAGreekGoddess, for telling me this wasn't the stupidest idea in the world, and TigerWolfPup for correcting my spelling and grammar.
Summary: You wonder when you will emerge from this sea of hysteria and dementia and lunacy that is now your life. You realize, yes, he was right. Honesty is the best policy - but insanity is the best defense.
Warnings: ...I swear like a sailor. Not only that, there is M-Preg in this fic. So if you don't like M-Preg fics, don't read this one. But if you wanna try, well, who am I to stop you?
Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own Twilight, but then again, you guys knew that.
Well? You gonna read? Have a look!
HONESTY VERSUS INSANITY
-Jasper/Edward-
~O~
It was never supposed to be this way. Somewhere in this crazy pattern we call life, everything got mixed up and twisted around and now it's stuck like this.
Maybe it was all those touches, those damn gentle kisses. Maybe it was just plain him.
His playful grin - the one you love so much - and his dirty blonde hair - it was a natural color, one you couldn't find in a bottle, no matter how hard you tried - or maybe those entrancing and hypnotizing crystal blue eyes.
You wonder how you could do this to your best friend.
...
"I now pronounce you husband and wife."
Cheers are heard and the flash of camera's are seen, but all you can focus on is him. You don't know exactly what you're focusing on. His pressed black tux, or his bright cobalt eyes.
Or the way his hair is done - you can tell a comb has been run through it, it's neater than usual - or that smirk on his face.
Or maybe it's the image of him, kissing a black-haired beauty, that will forever be burned into your skull. You're not sure what's so important about that image, but you know that suddenly you feel 2 things: the utmost happiness, and the utmost hatred. For her.
Alice.
Your best friend since high school.
The one you did everything with, whether it be pranking Mike Newton, or making fun of Jessica Stanley and her disfigured boob job - they were lopsided, who the hell wanted a girl with lopsided breasts - or going shopping everyday, or even finding dates to the prom.
You never went, but still.
How could you do this to her?
...
He's at your house one day, helping you fix that stupid bookcase, and when he reaches up - in those sexy, tight jeans that showed off his ass so well - you nearly lose it.
And then he turns, and dons his shirt - "I'm a little hot." he says in that wonderfully sexy southern accent, but you're not paying attention, you're wondering if you'll be able to restrain yourself - and then, THEN you can't take it anymore.
You kiss him fiercely.
His groan, the feeling as his hand creeps up your thigh and starts to remove you pants, is all the answer you need.
...
Her squeal makes you want to jump in front of a bus, but you smile nonetheless as she grabs your hand excitedly. "I can't believe it Ed! Me, pregnant. A mother." she smiles proudly at her stomach.
You look down at it too, and you cant help but feel guilt. You had slept with her husband. Her partner. The man who was supposed to be hers and hers only.
You're going straight to hell.
...
You flush the toilet, watching the vomit go down without pause. Morning sickness? The flu? What the hell was wrong?
But as you bend back over and retch, emptying out your stomach as you clutch the fabric lying there, you never thought the answer would be so simple.
...
You stare at the little pink plus sign with horror. Pregnant. Your child's father is the husband of your soon-to-be ex-bestfriend.
And you know you'll never be able to get out of this. You see it now, your common sense, you conscience. Blinded by jealousy and lust. You wish you'd listened to it.
Now look what had happened. What options did you have.
An abortion? No, it was murder. You couldn't.
Adoption? No, he could never do that to his child.
He had only one choice. He would have to raise it. But there's an even more pressing matter at hand.
He would have to tell them both. Jasper. And Alice.
...
"It's a girl." the doctor announces. You prepare for the mood swings, the emotional breakdowns, the eating for 2 - everything that women go through during pregnancy.
And now you will too.
You thank the nice doctor and leave, then walk quickly to your car.
Sitting there, alone, you do the only thing you can.
You cry.
...
"I'm pregnant."
The dreaded words leave your mouth before you can even blink. He stares at you, and then runs a hand through his disheveled hair. "What do you want me to do?"
You stare in disbelief. "I want you to father this child! It's yours too."
He shakes his head. He can't seem to fathom, can't seem to grasp exactly what's going on.
"I. Am. Pregnant." you say through gritted teeth. You want him to understand. You want him to help. And then, as you see the pain in those beautiful cerulean eyes, you realize:
You're all alone.
There's no one to help you now.
...
You take a deep breath. "Alice, we need to talk."
You explain it all to her. The jealousy, the anger, the lust, the want - the pregnancy. The regret.
You wait for her to speak. You wait for her to say something. But she doesn't.
She sits there, silent - which you always thought impossible for her - with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her usually energetic, enthusiastic hazel eyes are dull and lifeless.
"Go." she whispers, and you comply, you exit her home and leave her, leave her to suffer through her pain.
You've hurt your bestfriend. You don't even deserve to go to hell.
You deserve much, much worst.
...
She packed her bag and left without a word - no note or explanation - in the middle of the night, you hear from Bella. The only one who will even speak to you anymore. Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme. And Jasper, of course he won't. No one talks to you anymore.
Only Bella.
And of course, she doesn't let you near her husband, Jacob.
Yes, you've become known as a husband stealer. That's how much damage you've done.
You should be so proud.
...
You remember what Carlisle once told you.
"You know, some say honesty is the best policy, but insanity is the best defense."
"What do you believe?"
He's thoughtful before he responds. "Sometimes, it's true. I believe they both fight each other. You can never decide which is really better, or which is really ever in control. I used to think our brains were made up of two main things: insanity and honesty. One is always in control, and one is always forgotten until it's needed."
Oh, how true that is now.
...
You're mother regards you with shame. You're father looks down on you with disgust. You walk the streets alone - disinherited and homeless - left in the cold, 6 months pregnant and nobody cares.
You think you can handle it. You think everything is fine. You think you can survive, you can live like this.
Until that fateful day you just snapped.
You honestly believed the clerk was a vampire trying to suck your blood. You thought you were protecting the poor people trapped inside the store with you. You didn't know that when you slammed the crowbar down onto his neck he would drop like a sack of potatoes, screaming and writhing in pain.
You try to make those men in the white jackets believe you. But they don't.
No one does.
And now you sit in the hospital bed, the room with the single locked window and the key-swipe doors, rubbing your swollen tummy - "6 months pregnant!" the therapist had exclaimed when you arrived, drugged and confused - and you can't help but see your future:
Alone, and pregnant, being fed drug after drug while on lock-down in a mental facility.
Having your baby, your child, in such a cold and dark place.
Having to give her up for adoption, because no one is going to leave you in the care of this child, not now and not ever, and not watching her grow up to be the beautiful girl and woman she will become.
The darkness of sleep overtakes you as you silently cry.
...
You wonder when you will emerge from this sea of hysteria and dementia and lunacy that is now your life. You realize, yes, he was right. Honesty is the best policy - but insanity is the best defense.
AN: So what'cha think? It was just something that popped into my head after I read the story jealousy, turns saints into the sea.
I figured, what would happen if Edward and Jasper had a fling after he married Alice? And then Jasper left him, pregnant, and Alice left Jasper, because she learns of the affair.
And then Edward snaps after being left homeless and 6 months pregnant, admitted to a mental hopital, and then realizes that honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is indeed the best defense.
What? For some people it is! Actually, I was watching Knowing today (LOVE that movie, it's awesome, and the suspense is crazy - I just don't think she should have kidnapped this dude's kid with the end of the world coming and all, I mean seriously, who does that!), and I gotta say, it's sad that she knew about all that and they admitted her to a mental hospital.
I mean, she knew the future! And that got me thinking, how many people who have special abilities and powers and stuff like that are in places like that? Hospitals and Therapy Homes? Probably a lot. I mean, yeah, some people are crazy, but there's always something that MADE them that way. Whether it be abuse or something else. Some people see a traumatic event and do something that represent it. It's just how their brain works.
But then again, just my opinion. You may agree with me, you may not, who knows what goes on in that head of yours? Other than you, of course. :)
Anyways, if you want you can review now! Reviews, flames, I'll take 'em all! Although, I prefer good reviews. But I use the flames to roast marhsmallows! Nom nom nom.
Bye!
xxDaughterOfTheGreatWolfxx