"Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Korsak!"
"What?"
"I told you not to let Rondo talk to Maura! In fact, I was extremely, extremely specific about the not talking part and the Maura part!"
"Jane, relax, it's not like he's a suspect. He can talk to anyone he likes, it's that whole silly First Amendment thing."
"Is that supposed to be funny? I don't care who he talks to, as long as it isn't Maura!"
"Look, Jane, I know that he might be a little off-"
"A little?"
"-but he's not going to hurt her."
"Ahh! That's the point, Korsak! He's a highly skilled schmoozing sweet talker and he's always hitting us up for more money every single time he shows up with info! He's going to take one look at Maura in her Jimmy Choos and see an easy mark! He's going to think it's his lucky damn day!"
"Maura's a smart girl, Jane."
"Yeah! Intellectual smart, analytical smart. Street smart? Not so much!"
"So what if he sweet talks her a little, Jane? He's homeless; the man could use some cash. Plus, it's not as if Maura can't afford to give away a few dollars."
"Korsak! This is Maura we're talking about here! The woman who gave a kidney to a half sister who was a complete stranger! She's got a Vulcan brain and a career working with dead guys but she's also got the softest heart on the freaking planet! Rondo will give her his big chocolate eyes and charming manners and he'll probably come away with a 401k!"
"Jane, you're seriously overreacting here. It's like I need to get you a porch and a shotgun."
"Does the shotgun have slugs or just double-"
"Jane! Look, if it's bothering you this much, why don't you just run them down, get your information from him and get him out of the precinct?"
"You think I haven't already tried that? They're not in the building!"
"Then they're probably just outside, you know how antsy he gets inside here surrounded by cops and perps, the last thing he needs is to get word around that he's talking to us. Just give her a call on your phone."
"Wow, I never thought to use the phone. Korsak! I've already tried seven times and it just keeps going straight to voicemail!"
"Well, maybe they're in her car. You know she won't pick up when she's driving. Maybe she offered him a ride somewhere."
"Oh, thanks, Korsak. I really just needed that mental picture of my crazy CI and the Queen of the Dead cruising around Boston and listening to the Golden Oldies while he sweet talk weasels her into spending her entire Isles inheritance on him!"
"He likes Blues and Maura likes Classical, Jane."
"Korsak, you're killing me here!"
"Jane, take some meditation classes or yoga or something. You really need to learn how to just breathe. Maura was probably just being nice like she usually is and took him to the Dirty Robber. Your mom gives him food to take to his homeless buddies every week. He might have said something and Maura offered to take him. Simple as that."
"Okay, I admit, I hadn't thought of that."
"What are you doing?"
"Calling."
"I thought you just said it was all going to voicemail."
"To Maura, Korsak. I'm calling the Robber. Hey, Ma! Is Maura there?"
"Well? Am I right?"
"Maura just walked in. Ma's getting her."
"You owe me a sandwich."
"For what?"
"For having to act like a trainer with a rookie having a panic attack again."
"I never had-Maura! Are you with Rondo? What? No! I don't care if he says he's hungry, you're not to spend time with him!"
"Jane, I can tell you right now that you should hang up."
"No, I'm not trying to tell you what to do-"
"Seriously, Jane, hang up while you've got the chance."
"Because he's freaking crazy is why!"
"Jane, hang up."
"No, he is not just a big sweetheart!"
"Jane."
"He's just trying to con money out of you! Can't you see that?"
"Jane."
"Maura, I swear on all the holy saints sometimes you are the absolute most brilliant idiot in Boston! What's the point of having a big brain if you're not going to actually use it?"
"And too late."
"What? No! No, I did not mean-"
"You are in so much trouble. It would be amusing if I wasn't going to have to deal with the both of you while you're mad at each other again."
"Yes, I know you're smart-"
"Wait a minute, what am I thinking? I've got plenty of leave built up."
"No, I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your money, I'm just-AHHH!"
"Now what happened?"
"She just hung up on me! Can you believe that?"
"Shocker. Jane, what are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing, Korsak? I'm going over there!"
"Yeah, that's a really bad idea."
"Korsak, I need to borrow your car!"
"My car? What happened to your car?"
"It's in the shop."
"Why is it in the shop?"
"What are you my mother now?"
"You hit something again, didn't you?"
"Hey! It wasn't my fault this time! I was trying not to squish some cat! Now are you going to let me use your car or not?"
"Don't make me regret this."
"Really? Do I look sixteen?"
"No, but you drive like it. I'm not kidding, Jane, she's a classic and I like her."
"Korsak! Give me the damn keys, before I hotwire it! Thank you! I tell you what; if I get there and Maura's out more than fifty bucks, Rondo's going to find out just how Italian I am! And if he thinks he's going to all 'Vanilla' me his way out of it, I'm going to rip out his-"
Korsak watched Jane stomp out furiously and shook his head.
"Honestly. Sometimes I think Maura's actually got the better people skills of the two."
Then he went and got the request leave form.
And tried not to worry about his poor baby.
Or Rondo who was about to find himself in the worst spot a man could be.
Between a Rizzoli and an Isles.