of Love and Despair

The story takes place kind of after Advent Children. I didn't play Dirge of Cerberus so there could be some inconsistencies, possibly setting this story in an alternate universe.

The Anguish of Love and Despair

Everything was quite. That's how things usually were around here. It was just the same things over and over again. Day after day, week after week. Yuiffie came by not to long ago, her antics were a welcome, but they are only temporary in this place. Its the same people coming and going, everything was moving like clockwork. You could set your watch again certain people. Like that guy for instance, Mr. Dark-Lecour-on-the-Rocks who sips his alcohol through the strainer on his upper lip. He comes in at 4:30 drinks by himself for an hour and then goes outside to smoke, then come back in and drinks some more and leaves before 6:55. You could even set your watch on another person. Like him, Mr. Takes-off-without-telling-anyone-and-leaves-for-days-on-end-making-everyone-worry-about-him Strife. Speak of the devil.

"Hello Cloud," called Tifa from behind the bar.

Cloud only responded by nodding his head and walked over to her.

"Could you help me with these dishes," asked Tifa who had been up to her elbows in dirty dishes in between customers all day.

He shook his head. "Sorry Tifa I just came by to check on the work orders."

"Oh, okay," sighed Tifa who looked back down at the dishes in the sink. When she was done washing a mug she slammed it down harder than she meant to on the drying rack and the whole thing came crashing down to the floor. She swore so loud that would have made Cid and Barret proud.

"Is something wrong Tifa?" asked Cloud as he took a step closer to her.

"No nothing's wrong," replied Tifa. "Why? Should there be something wrong?"

Cloud looked down at the shattered dishes and back up at Tifa before looking back at the dishes. "I'll... get a broom."

"Don't," barked Tifa. "Leave it. Go back to taking care of your work orders and cleaning up your desk and taking orders and making your delivers. Go you have work to do."

Cloud opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. They stood in silence each of them staring at the reflections of themselves in each other's eyes. Cloud opened his mouth again and all that came out was, "What's wrong?"

"'What's wrong?'" repeated Tifa.

"Something is bothering you," responded Cloud who was regretting his words.

Tifa shook her head. "After all this time and you still can't-. Just go Cloud."

"Tifa," pleaded Cloud.

"No don't 'Tifa' me Cloud," replied Tifa who was now furious. "You know Cloud I always thought that it was just and act. I mean how can anyone be so dense. But then you come along with your 'What's wrong?' And I don't know know any more. I don't care. I've had enough. So just go do your deliveries because I've had enough. I've had it." Tifa tossed a glass in her hands back into the sink which issues a loud clatter which surely caused some dishes to crack and break. Cloud watched Tifa storm up the stairs and heard her slam the door to her room which caused a few hanging cups and liquor bottles to rattle together. He then looked around the bar at everyone who had been watching the fight, they all quickly looked back down at their drinks. He spotted Marlene who was standing in the middle of the door way. It was another person that Cloud didn't want to see right now.

She stormed over to where Cloud was. "You have to go up and apologize."

"I will," replied Cloud.

"Now Cloud," ordered Marlene who could be just as bossy as her father. "You need to apologize."

"I'll go when she's cooled off a bit," responded Cloud who tried to maneuver around her. But she blocked his every move. There was no getting around it. "Let me clean up this mess first."

"Don't worry about the dishes," replied Denzel who was already sweeping up the glass and porcelain on the ground. "You have to clean up the mess."

"But-." began Cloud.

"No buts!" shouted Marlene who then began to push Cloud up the stairs and towards Tifa's room.

He left out a sigh, there was no use fighting it. When he reached the foot of Tifa's door he rapped on the door very lightly so Tifa might not have heard it. Marlene saw what he was doing and banged on the door before diving out of the way of Cloud's reach. He gulped hard and waited for something but nothing came. He knocked again and again there was no response. Marlene came out of her hiding place and opened the door.

"Tifa?" asked Marlene as she poked her head inside. When she came back out she shook her head up at Cloud.

Cloud looked over to his room which was wide open. He didn't want to believe it but he knew that she had to be in there. He slowly poked his head in a sure enough Tifa was sitting on his bed staring at the picture on his unusually tidy desk. He noticed the slight fragrance of fresh flowers on his desk that replaced the withered old flowers that use to lay there. Marlene suddenly pushed Cloud all the way into the room and shut the door behind him. He knew that physically there was no way to lock the door from the outside but he knew he was trapped in there until allowed to leave.

"Tifa," said Cloud to which Tifa gave no response. "I-."

"Why do you do it Cloud?" asked Tifa who looked up a Cloud cutting off anything that he was about to say. "Why do you even come back here? Is it painful to comeback here?"

It has Cloud's turn to look away like child getting scolded by his mother.

"Because you want to feel hurt?" asked Tifa clenching the side of his bed. "Is it because you want to feel sorry? Do you like feeling hurt? Guilty?"

"No I-."

"Cloud you're past isn't the only one that hurts. We all lost everything. Our town, our friends, our families." They didn't know that Marlene was sitting against the door on the other side listening intently to everything they were saying. "But you are the only one who feels guilty for himself. So what I want to know is why? Why do you do it Cloud?"

Cloud ended up staring at the picture on his desk. "Because I want to feel needed."

"Then why do you push everyone away?" asked Tifa. "You keep everyone at a distance. When anyone gets close you run away. The only person you don't push away is..." Tifa let out a sigh and looked out the window.

They both were left in silence. It's always how it ends, in silence. The door burst open suddenly and Marlene ran in to the room. She stood in between Cloud and Tifa.

"Marlene," called out Tifa and Cloud at the same time.

"No," said Marlene stamping down her foot sending tears from her eyes splashing down on the floor. "This isn't how its ending. Not like this."

Cloud frowned as he looked at the floor in front of him. He rubbed the back of his neck for a moment before making for the door.

"Cloud," pleaded Marlene. "Don't run away."

Cloud paused at the door and glanced over his shoulder at her. He let out a sigh and looked down at his feet with his head hung low and walked out of the room. Marlene tried to wipe the tears away while Tifa continued to look out the window.

Why is it the more you hold it in, the more it hurts.