Adrift

Sequel to A Woman On Every Planet

This takes place a few weeks after S7 Lifeboat

Chapter 1 – Memories Can Be So Cruel

It hit Daniel like a staff blast and he wondered why he hadn't thought of it before. His mouth went dry as sand and his respiration sped up along with his heart beat. His hands shook with the trauma of the explicit memory of a time past. It must have been because of his strange relationship with Keenin, the boy who'd been downloaded into his consciousness along with eleven others from the Stromos on P2A-347 and oh, and isn't that a nice memory?

He'd been with a woman. Slept with her in the 'biblical' sense for many nights during his foggy duration on Vis Uban before he was found by Jack and the rest of SG-1. Or what was SG-1 at that time. He'd been made love to and had made love with an extraordinary woman for almost two months. He never knew her name because she came to him in the middle of the night and left before dawn. He never saw her until the day he left when she entered his tent and implored him to leave with his friends. She knew he needed to find out who he was and would always feel inadequate until he did. And, he'd forgotten all about her.

'How could I have done that? Just forget her like she never existed? I'm not the most sensitive man on earth but I never thought I would ever do that to a woman. Use her and discard her afterwards like she was nothing but a tool to be set aside when finished!' He was so ashamed of himself as he leaned forward to hold his head in his hands, eyes closed and remembering.

When he had lived on Abydos with Sha're, there had been a lot of pressure for the newlyweds to conceive a child, an heir for the ruling family. They were akin to royalty and he felt a lot of unease at being thrown into the middle of that three-ring circus, made to perform. All their neighbors gave them knowing looks and offered remedies that would cure whatever problem they figured was the cause. Sha're understood what the community expected of them but she also wanted to take some time and just be his wife for a while. They didn't know each other at all when they were married. In fact, in the very beginning, he didn't even know they were married until two days had gone by and she'd explained all the teasing comments he'd heard from the people in the village.

After he realized what had happened, he took her to his bed – mostly to allay her fears that she wasn't a suitable wife for him which was a complete misunderstanding brought on by the fact that he hadn't consummated their marriage. He remembered how soft her skin was. How she trembled in his arms that first night together and how he tried to be careful and take his time with her. He wanted her first time to be wonderful and was willing to delay his own pleasure to make sure it would be. Her virginity was not a surprise to him but her willingness to explore the heights of their passion was and they soon found themselves eager for the sun to set each day.

As the weeks and months went on, they were met with looks of disapproval as their inability to conceive and he started hearing comments about them being cursed. People would stare at him as he walked through the village and some actually turned their backs on Sha're – people she'd known her whole life. He understood that their traditions were steeped in superstition but he didn't know how to change that in the short term. Others said that he was unhappy with her and didn't want her in his bed and that he would be looking for a second wife or a concubine. Finally, Sha're's father Kasuf decided that he'd had enough and called the village elders to a council meeting. He's heard the gossip and told them all that they were to put a stop to the it and that if they couldn't, punishment would be meted out. He also explained that it wasn't the fault of Dan'yel or Sha're. When the gods decided it was time, then it would happen. The talk was to cease and cease now!

Things were somewhat better after that. Some of the women came and apologized to them. They said they were sorry and Sha're smiled graciously and forgave them. It took him a little while longer. A few months after that, Apophis showed up and his world turned into a nightmare. Eventually, Amonet, the Goa'uld who'd taken over Sha're's body was killed by Teal'c in an attempt to stop her from murdering Daniel and he watched as Sha're was able to tell him she loved him right before she closed her eyes forever. And the dream of ever becoming a father died with her.

Three years had gone by and the pain was still there though not as sharp as it one was. He sat in the dark corner of his office and stared at her picture, remembering her laughter – her smile – her passion. He'd finally quit beating himself up over the fact that a year after their marriage, he'd uncovered the Stargate to let Jack and his team back through. It was right after that that Apophis showed up to kidnap Sha're and her brother Skarra. It took him a long time but he had finally come to terms with the fact that it wasn't his fault that they'd been taken. He still had nightmares about it all but hopefully time would eventually take care of that.

He now sat at his desk and thought about how he could find out what happened to the woman on Vis Uban.. The people of Vis Uban had been relocated when the SGC lured Anubis there in earth's attempt to find the location of the Lost City. Had they been allowed to return or was it too dangerous to do that? He had to find out.

He needed to talk to Sam. She was usually the one who found suitable planets for the relocation process that helped so many humans on other planets to find a new home. He looked at his watch and noted that it was well past dinner time and wondered if she was still on the base. He called her office but there wasn't any answer so he called the front gate and found out that she'd signed out at six. 'Good. Someplace private would be better for this discussion, anyway.'

After grabbing his keys and locking his office door, he headed to the men's locker room to change into his civvies and soon was driving out of the parking lot and heading down Norad Rd. into town. Fort Carson as a small suburb of Colorado Springs and Sam lived on a quiet street there.

She greeted him with a smile, as she always did and took his jacket. She'd become so close to him over the years that he could talk to her about anything so he decided he would ask her if she knew who the woman was and where she was located.

First though, she asked him if he'd eaten dinner.

"No. In fact, that sounds like a good idea. Want to go somewhere?"

"How about take-out?"

"Fine by me," he said and waited while she ordered a large pizza with their favorite toppings.

A while later, as they sat together on the couch and finished their dinner, he brought up the topic of Vis Uban.

"I was wondering if you could help me out with something?"

Sam looked up at him and said, "Sure, if I can. What's up?"

"I need to find someone off world. Someone I knew on Vis Uban." He looked at her and she could see he was troubled by something. After all these years, she could read him very well.

"Oh? Shamda?"

He sat his plate on the table and said, "No, not Shamda. A woman. I don't know her name." He stared intently at his napkin after wiping his mouth and she could tell he was avoiding her look.

"A woman? Okay, what do you know about her?"

"Not much." He paused. "This is kinda embarrassing. I slept with her." He heard her sharp intake of breath and looked up. Her face said it all. "It wasn't what you think. Let me explain."

Sam watched as he blushed to the roots and kept her opinion to herself. She was definitely interested in what her friend had to say but would wait him out before giving him her opinion.

"She came to me at night when everyone was asleep. I never saw her and I didn't invite her, Sam. She showed up one night and it was dark. She made love to me and I wasn't even sure she was real that first night. The whole thing seemed dream like. And, she was always gone in the morning before dawn and I never saw her face until the day you, Jack and Teal'c came. She was the one who convinced me I had to go with you."

"Wait! You mean to tell me that she seduced you every night and you never asked her name?"

"Of course I did but she wouldn't tell me." He lowered his voice and went on. "I tried to find out who she was but I had to be careful. I didn't want her stoned to death for what we were both involved in so I discretely asked if anyone knew who was washing my robes and bringing me my meals. Nobody knew or maybe they weren't willing to say, but I never found out her name. To this day, I don't know it. Sam, we both filled a need in each other that no one there was able to." He saw the incredulous look on her face as she got up and went over to the fireplace to watch the flames. "It wasn't something I was looking for. It just happened."

"Okay, start at the beginning?"

He got up and started pacing as he told her the whole story not leaving out anything. She quietly watched as he seemed to grieve over his actions and she wondered how he could have forgotten her. "You really blanked out the whole thing until this episode with the people on the Stromos?"

"Yes, I think it was because of Keenin. Remember him?"

"Yes, he was the child but why do you think that?"

He took off his glasses and pinched his nose, a familiar gesture to her. "I'm not sure. Maybe because of the memory thing from both incidents. I don't know but when Keenin took over, I felt so much despair from him. He lost his mother and his world. He was very confused and everything he knew was gone and somehow I think that was how I felt when I woke up on P2A-347. I didn't have a clue who I was. My whole life before was gone. Keenin felt the same way." He put his glasses down and sighed.

He looked so forlorn that she hugged him, "I'm so sorry. When you came back all scared and confused, I was terrified that we were going to lose you again. It brought back all those feelings from when you died. I was desperate to find out how to get those others out of your head and then Janet wasn't even sure if you would survive the process."

He pulled back and said, "Well, if it hadn't happened, I might not have remembered what happened on Vis Uban."

"Okay. First thing in the morning I'll start going through the database and we'll find out where they went. Then I'll go through the registration of names and we'll see who she was."

"It can't be that easy."

"It is. We took pictures of everyone we relocated. She's there, Daniel. Tomorrow we're going to find out her name. And, Daniel, I'm sorry."

What for?"

She looked into his eyes and said, "The first reaction I had when you started to tell me this was anger. I automatically put you in the same category as most of the guys out there who only want one thing."

"Well, don't kick yourself over it. I felt the same way." he sighed and said, "But…"

"What?" she said as she took his hand.

"Sam, I'm worried. What if there's a child? If I got her pregnant she would be almost due to have her baby by now, if I figure right."

She could see the pain etched on his features and smiled. "A child? Okay, let's think about that for a moment. I don't suppose they had any kind of birth-control?"

"If they did, she never let on. I hate to admit it, but when it first happened, it wasn't a consideration. I was so surprised and within a few minutes, I was incapable of thought." He blushed and looked away. "I guess I'm no different than any other guy out there. Give me the opportunity and what do I do? Take advantage of some poor young woman."

Sam looked horrified at him and scolded him, saying, "Hey, stop that! You didn't go looking for her. She came to you in the middle of the night and jumped you! You're a man, Daniel! It sounds almost like rape to me."

"No! Not rape. After the initial shock, I was willing. Believe me."

"Willing or not, if you were a woman and a man did that to you, you'd look at it differently."

"Sam. You're forgetting something." He turned towards the fireplace and seemed ashamed to speak.

"What?" Sam was upset and didn't want him making excuses for what happened to him.

As she reached out to caress his back, he turned around and looked at her and said, "Hathor."