Disclaimer: Kuroko no Basuke and the cover image story is not mine. But Midorima Shintaro is! (Lol jk)
With All My Heart
[Midorima Shintaro x OC]
"Stop doing this. You're pitying me, right?"
"…."
It was Sunday, as the name of the day itself puts up an impression of having a day off after a full week of working for most of the people. But not for Midorima.
Midorima feels the heavy feeling lingers on both of his eyelids, as he tried to open his eyes, showing the lack of sleep he had despite the fact that it's still the weekend. Midorima looks to his side, this has become the first thing he always does when he wakes up from sleep. And then continued with checking his phone, to catch a glimpse of what time it was. Was he late again?
The alarm icon hanging on the top tray of his phone's screen indicate the opposite, as once again, he wakes up earlier than his alarm. But the looks of empty bedside got him the realization that maybe, just maybe, he was late again.
He wasn't late as in he gotta rush to the next activity, it's not the kind of late where he needs to skip breakfast and go out to whatever his business that day. The fact that he was late that is symbolized, as strange as it sounds, with the empty space of his bedside, but it was the kind of late that he still take things slowly. Like slowly brushing his teeth, slowly washing up his face and slowly going out from the room and search for a certain figure he knew so much. He knew so much that he's sure he can, of course, recognize that particular person in blind.
The person that Midorima had been searching around the house was actually in the same place he found her yesterday, making him find her easier than those early days. The backyard.
If it was necessary to explain how he finds her every morning in chronological order, then it would be this.
First, Midorima would search for her in the kitchen first. Because that's the image that he remembers and probably holds very dearly, the image of her making two cups of lattes every morning. He remembers it clearly how the girl throws him a smile, a smile combined with her cheerfulness and at the same time with her tired expression that shows how she just woke up from a sleep. Then she would return to her activity, preparing the steamed milk in a milk jug. Start to be ready for performing her amazing skills on making such sharp rosettas or sometimes only a tulip when she's lazy. Midorima would stay in her behind, without the girl realizes, and he would watch how her hand moves smoothly and efficiently on making those coffee arts. The thing that he admits he couldn't surpass her skill on this one. He always prefers V60 when he needs to make coffee by himself. Which is rare because he got the coffee fanatic girl, Mitsuki.
If Midorima couldn't find her in the kitchen, then he would go to her studio. It was a small studio but the ceiling was a little bit higher than any rooms or corridors in the house, making the studio looks spacious that it actually is. When Mitsuki was not in the mood for coffee (which is also a rare thing), or when Mitsuki was having so many orders of her artworks, she would spend most of her morning there. And Midorima would drag her for breakfast because sometimes she was too focus with her works and forget that Midorima had been calling her for a meal. How could she forget my presence, nanodayo? But of course, Midorima would only sigh in defeat because seeing her working and painting was making him realize of the girl's dream, and also making him realize his own dream to make her dream come true.
Then the last place if Mitsuki also wasn't in the studio, was the small backyard of the house that they rented. It was a small backyard but Mitsuki and Midorima decided to fill them up with flowers. Her favorite flowers, and some plants Midorima state it would increase their lucky days in the house. When Mitsuki asks where the hell Midorima knows it from, she would pat her own forehead for such an unnecessary question from her to him, of course, it was what Oha Asa says. How could she forget?
But this backyard is also the last place he wants to see her at. Because if he finds Mitsuki in the backyard, it means she didn't paint nor she makes any coffees. In the backyard, he would catch how the girl sat in her wheelchair, with those empty expression, without emotions upon her beautiful orbs. The girl would be caught on doing nothing, just sitting and staring into the backyard, though sometimes Midorima can see how the girl squeezed her skirt with both of her hands hard, though her face betrays her actions, again showing no emotions.
If Midorima found Mitsuki in this place after his attempt of searching, he would call.
"Mitsuki," paused, though he knew the girl won't say any. "Do you have a breakfast already?"
And Mitsuki would answer without looking back at him, "Not yet, Shintarou."
"Let's have some breakfast then," Midorima speaks calmly, as he began to push her wheelchair, guiding her to the dining room for breakfast.
Sometimes Midorima wonders, how can Mitsuki reach the backyard with the wheelchair when she… can't see anything.
"Stop doing this. You're pitying me, right?"
"…."
Mitsuki always wakes up earlier than Midorima, that's why Midorima always feels like he was late every day. And Mitsuki actually wakes up way before Midorima, maybe an hour earlier. Part of her who wants to enjoy the silence of their house's backyard alone for few amounts of time was the reason why she always wakes up early. And another reason was because she needed a big amount of time, and also she had to struggle her way, to reach backyard on her own.
It sucks to be in a wheelchair, plus, trapped in blindness.
Those words had been planted in her brain, that it was almost becoming the first thing she remembers every morning she wakes up. And she would curse herself after that, for being so useless and so weak. For being such an unreliable fiancé for Shintarou.
Until a tear escaped from the corner of her eyes, that soon turned into a stream of tears, and a cry came out from her lips. Which she would quickly wipe it before Midorima wakes up.
"I'm glad that I did that, you have so many more things to explore, and you have the world to see. I can't let you losing that!"
"…"
The movie that they watched today was awesome, and this is a very incredible thing when you recognize how Midorima can be very annoying and selective when it comes to watching a movie in the theater. Mitsuki herself always couldn't contain her laughs every time Midorima tried to explain how he really hates the movie nowadays and how their plots are always easily predicted. Oh dear, what a thoughtful fiancé, she had.
But of course, it doesn't make Mitsuki love him less, actually, his traits (no matter how some of them actually seem very weird) are the things Mitsuki adored from the green head so much. She remembers the conversation they had before going into the theater.
"No, Shin-kun, we have to see this! Even they got many Academy Awards nomination!"
Midorima starts thinking and finally gave in, as Mitsuki's face brighten up seeing the giving in expression upon Shintaro's face. He himself is actually curious about how the movie would turn out.
"Alright, alright, let's watch this." Midorima answers in a slightly annoyed tone, to cover his curiosity.
As the movie finished, they both decided to go straight back home and as Midorima once again gave in to Mitsuki's beg on having an all-pizza late dinner. The date today was definitely something for both of them, even though it's not like the first date or any of new type of dates they had, they did already watch movies many times before, but they both knew that they wouldn't get tired of this. Not when they had each other around. Though of course, this type of confession, the only person who can openly admit was Mitsuki.
The pizza restaurant was only a few yards left. Midorima stopped the car as the traffic lights turned red, and while waiting for the light to turn green, Midorima enters one of his CD albums that he always kept in the car for some music touches when he was driving, which none other than Jim Brickman album, the first song played in shuffle, Rocket To The Moon.
The music filled the comfortable silence between both Midorima and Mitsuki, sometimes Midorima tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he imagines he plays the songs himself.
The light turned into green faster than Midorima expected, as he gently pressed the pedal, about to make a right turn. The road was actually a little bit empty as they actually choose an almost midnight movie schedule, it was a fortunate one that the pizza restaurant opens for 24 hours.
Midorima was sure that the road was clear, it was very obvious that even a monkey can make a right turn without any struggles nor damage.
But the load horn suddenly came out of nowhere, feels like it almost ripped Midorima's ears. His eyes widen in the fastest reflex and he throws the steering as hard as he can, as he tried to avoid the truck that came out so unexpectedly, with such amount of speed.
But his reflex was a millisecond later than how the truck collides first with the white hatchback Midorima was driving, giving such a big amount of impact with great translational forces that crashed the white car in a matter of second. On the other side, his reflex was also a millisecond later than how Mitsuki somehow already escaped from her seatbelt, pulling Midorima's body in a flash and replacing herself to be a protection over the shattering glass that mercilessly stabbed whatever surfaces they're going to land upon. And one of them was her skins, part of them was her arm, and also her two eyes.
"I'm glad that I did that, you have so many more things to explore, and you have the world to see. I can't let you losing that!"
"…"
"So, please continue be the best Neurosurgeon out there which I knew you already are!"
Of course, no matter how many times she spoke about that, though both of them knew how genuine it sounded and it really was genuine, Midorima was always scared and always wondered whether she was feeling a regret of saving him that very damned day.
Since the day he discovers that Mitsuki lost her sight and her capability of walking because of protecting him during the crash, the guilt started wrapping around Midorima. There are so many things and what ifs that Midorima can eternally list about the case where Mitsuki didn't sacrifice herself.
It was a month already since the moment Mitsuki wakes up from her painful sleep, after a week full of checkup and examinations, she finally can open the blindfold and those bandages that cover her eyes. Midorima who recovers earlier from the accidents than Mitsuki accompanied her every single day and every single inspection until she was discharged from the hospital.
With the wheelchair on his hands, Midorima couldn't put his sight away from the girl who sat weakly and emotionlessly upon it. It was such a different sight.
"Mitsuki," He called, as both of them reached home. The house was rented when Midorima proposed her, which he still remembers those moments so much. The moment when he was heavily nervous that he hoped Mitsuki couldn't see his sweats which starting to appear, and wishing she would say yes to his proposal. Also, the moment when he catches those beautiful brown orbs Mitsuki had that is coated with layers of thin waters that made them seemed like coated with crystals, when he opened the box of a ring. He couldn't believe he made Mitsuki cried, though in a good way. And the moments she said yes over his awkward but successful proposal, which thank God for Takao (which this moment of Midorima thanking Takao is definitely rare) and his romantic ideas though at the end Midorima modified the proposal concept with his own way, he thought he can never be happier than that time.
Midorima continued what he was about to tell her,
"I made cold brew last night, you need to taste it and give comments, nodayo."
Mitsuki smiled a little hearing that, though part of her knew that maybe her smile couldn't reach him as she can't even look back at her fiancé now every time he talks to her. The efforts Midorima was making is so obvious, the past whole month and the next months after that, Midorima tried so hard to not take any topics around her blindness and health condition. Midorima turns to make coffees more than the past days. When in past, it was Mitsuki who always made the coffee for both of them. Midorima also told her about his day, way frequent than the number of times he tells her about his day in their past days before accidents. If she reminisced those days, she can remember how she always be the first one who asks him about his days, and he will answer it half-heartedly at first, even though the next thing she knew, he told her stories more than she expected him to tell her about. Those Tsundere traits… but she fell for him and those traits anyway. She smiled secretly remembering that.
But now, it's definitely the opposite. Midorima talks more, he even talks about their neighbors. Something that Mitsuki was the one who usually talks about them first. Midorima once thought that it was inappropriate to talk about their neighbors, though when he started to enters the conversation with Mitsuki, she wonders why now he gets so worked up about the incompatibility of cancer and the neighbor's signs.
Mitsuki took a sip of the cold brew, she asks what beans he used though she had some assumptions but she had no idea whether Midorima already refilled their coffee beans storage or not.
"El Salvador ones."
"It's really good, how come you never made me a cold brew before?" she gave a joking mock look, which makes Midorima smiles, at least she lets out a chuckle.
And days went with more Midorima's smiling nowadays, which now, he hopes she can see them. Also his numerous attempts on recovering and diverting her both from her physical disabilities and also her traumas and depression. He also found himself to be way more protective, though Mitsuki complained about these changes that he had been overprotective just because of her condition, and reminding him about his even already-protective traits when she went home late in their past days. Telling him that now the protectiveness is unbearable. But of course, Mitsuki just joked about that, even though the useless feeling starts to linger after she's blind and paralyzed, but the caring and warmth Midorima gave every time he looks up for her made her smile anyway.
The change also didn't stop at that, now Midorima stopped taking so many patients, that he only went to work on Tuesday and Wednesday. Yes, two freaking days of the whole week only. When Mitsuki started to ask him why didn't he go to work as often as usual and how she pouted over that fact, Midorima always successfully convinced her that he was doing an online working. Though Mitsuki wasn't sure whether it was really a thing. But at the end, Midorima changed to a person that working and being the best neurosurgeon thing were not in his first priority anymore. He decided to less his working time to take care of her. After all, Midorima really didn't want any worse thing happened to her.
Though Midorima now expresses himself more openly, he actually hates himself being like that. It's like there is this ironic image about how it took such a tragedy for him to be a little bit more honest, and hell, Midorima now would do anything only for Mitsuki to see his smile he had been holding so much in their past days just because of the sake of his stupid pride.
This morning, Midorima once again found Mitsuki stared blankly at their backyards. He thought that he just saw she clenched her skirt a little bit harder than yesterday. Though when he catches the look on her face, it barely showed any emotions.
He took her for breakfast just like usual. It was Monday and with his new schedule, Monday does not hold the label of those busy-days-after-weekends anymore, making Midorima can enjoy this peaceful morning with Mitsuki. After finishing their dishes, Midorima took Mitsuki to the back yard again, but now carrying her so she can sit on the small bench around.
"Wait for a moment, I'm going to wash the dishes first and we'll continue yesterday's chapter."
Mitsuki just smiled and nodded, feeling grateful for such a gesture from him. Though a part of her definitely hate this at the same time. As she felt that Midorima was already back to the kitchen, the smile that was hanging on her face turned into a– frown. It was such a lie to say that she was alright with this, though Midorima always made sure the best for her. But she still can't adapt of being so… useless. She couldn't do activities, and she always make Midorima do this and do that. She once asked him to rent a caretaker so Midorima can go back to his usual activities, but it was objected harshly by him. He never told her the reason.
"Let's continue where we left off yesterday…" Midorima tried to sound cheerful, which didn't match at all with his expression. Somehow though Mitsuki couldn't see that, hearing the way Midorima speaks makes her want to laugh so much. But she lets out a chuckle instead, with no words following. She was still occupied with her previous thought, on how weak and helpless person she became.
"Pushing past the crush of tourist on the Rialto Bridge, Sienna Brooks began running again,…"
Midorima continued to the next chapter from the one they stopped at yesterday morning. It has become a daily activity for him to read her favorite novel. She had read The Lost Symbols and she was so excited to read another masterpiece from Dan Brown. Though she admitted that she was a little bit late of enjoying his works, but the excitement of going through each of his books, reading those adventurous, well-written thriller passages, and captivating details, became her addiction. Or at least now, she only can hear the words from Midorima.
She was sad of course. To not be able to feel those feelings of turn the pages and hold the book by herself, to not be able to read anymore. Though she was as grateful as she can ever be towards Midorima's help, but still… those lingering useless and helpless feeling.
"Stop, Shintarou."
Midorima stopped his words in reflex, looking up at her from the book he had read calmly and carefully for her.
"Don't you feel sick about this?" This time, Mitsuki's tone was a little bit higher. Showing an overflowing emotion she had hold dearly from Midorima. It made him startled in a way that it was surprising him that Mitsuki was hiding this from him all the time.
He knew what is this about, without her explaining further. It was those moments when Midorima caught her clenching her skirts strongly, and he knew something was wrong. Mitsuki did always smile at every help her fiancé offers, but Midorima did catch some of the silence she throws to the air, signaling that she was struggling with her disabilities.
"Of course not, Mitsuki, this is what I should do and there is nothing more important that protecting you," Midorima stated sternly, hoping that Mitsuki can see the hope he had of her getting better and hoping that Mitsuki can see how much Midorima wants the best for her.
"No, it's not! The important thing you should do right now is getting out from this house, working on the job that you love so much! You should go out and help those patients with your capability that you earned in such a long time, Shintarou! You should leave to work and don't even worry about this helpless-"
"Stop it, Mitsuki!" Midorima cuts back at her, he doesn't want to hear those things further.
"You know what, I'm useless and everyone knows that! This should be the time that you can leave me because finally, I'm giving you reason…" Mitsuki words were continued with shaking tears, her voice turned hoarse and her breathing was interrupted with the agonizing sob that showing how pathetic and depressed she has become. A sob that made Midorima trembles as soon as he hears that.
It really breaks his heart.
"Even I cannot read, I cannot move around, with all these drawbacks, I could never be your proper company. You deserve better, and you should've found the one who-"
Midorima pulled her into his embrace in flash, pressing her head gently to his chest. Hoping to stop all those rants that Midorima really hate to hear. He doesn't want her to feel this way, because he really is protecting and caring her with all his heart.
"Mitsuki… stop." He speaks, that turn into whispers. It was only followed with continued sob from Mitsuki. She was tired, she was tired with all of this.
"I-I…" She tried to speak again, wanting to let out all of her feelings, and maybe he can really leave her so that he can have a better life. She was hating herself so much for holding him into this shitty life her life had become. And also holding him from his dreams. "…can't see you here, Shintarou. I can't see myself making your dreams shattered. Making you abandon works, just because of this helpless woman…"
Midorima had enough. Those guilty feelings he had felt, those possible futures that she should have if he just one second faster than the accidents, and those possible future that she should have if she didn't save him on that damned day, all coming into one place.
"Mitsuki, you will see again, and you're not holding me back from my dreams. Stop thinking like this, it's no good for your condition. We'll soon get better, alright?" Midorima holds her tighter, trying to calm her down. He really wants her to know that she's all that he got and that's okay. Because she was more important than anything.
"You will see again, Mitsuki… believe me, we'll find it together…" Midorima speaks the way he knew this will calm her. Though he still can't find the eye donor yet, but seeing the woman that he loved with all his heart makes his heart shattered.
"You will see again…" He whispered once more, and Mitsuki'ssob had calmed down. She lets Midorima tighten his hug, and let herself to believe in those words Midorima had said with such a reliable tone, that she maybe tried herself to believe in miracle those words portrayed so much
The days passed with those daily same activities, of Midorima wakes up and searching where Mitsuki could be at that moment. And he will always find her in the backyard. Breakfast passed, and he read again her favorite book, sometimes he put the vinyl of her favorite band, asking which song she would like to play today.
"What would you like to play for today? I think Coffee and TV would sound good in a sunny morning like this…" Midorima roamed through the shelf of pieces of vinyl, Mitsuki's collections.
Instead of answers, a title of the song, the next answer Mitsuki put up made Midorima statued.
"Stop doing this. You're pitying me, right?"
"…"
"You know what, this is probably the only chance to walk away from me. Don't make it such a waste, Shintarou!" She laughed as she saying that. Stopping Midorima from taking the vinyl from the laugh was somehow unbearable for Midorima to hear.
"…" Her words made him stayed in silence. He didn't know Mitsuki was this depressed, and it really breaks his heart.
"So, you won't need to lie to yourself or forcing yourself to say the words."
Midorima's eyes widen, what was that mean?
"…"
"You don't love me right?"
"…"
What is dream?
People said it's the thing that can keep you carry on with this life. It gives you purpose and it makes you want to keep walking in this word, on the road carrying your soul into the direction where your dreams lay on.
"What is your dream, Shintarou?"
"You know what my dream is," Midorima replied carelessly as he continued with the biography book he had been reading this noon.
"My dream is to hold a very, very, very big exhibition! Someday, I know I will make it!" Mitsuki chuckled upon her own words, and continued, "You know, I will say it out loud at the giving speech on the day of my exhibition that I, love Midorima Shintarou so much!"
"Don't say such embarrassing thing in public, nanodayo."
"It's not stupid, Shin-kun! People should know that my love for you is the thing that keeps me reach out for my dreams!"
The flashback passed through Midorima's mind mercilessly giving him shivers upon the beautiful memories. Midorima clenched on his phone hard, the answers hospital had been given to him was negative. They still didn't find the donor for Mitsuki, and Midorima cannot see Mitsuki feeling those agonies and depression alone for any second longer. After a long pause, and the other side of the cable asked whether Midorima was still there. He finally answers,
"Actually, I found one, nanodayo." He replied to his phone.
The next Friday, Midorima asks Mitsuki to have dinner on the outside. A small restaurant that is not very crowded but has this calming ambiance and good food to serve.
They had already finished eating and Midorima was ready to tell Mitsuki the real intention of this dinner.
He holds her hand on the table. Made him receive a questioning look from her.
"Mitsuki, I had a good news," Midorima speaks calmly, and quickly continue.
"We found you a donor, and we can quickly prepare for the transplant. So you can see again, Mitsuki…"
Midorima smiled as he can see the brighter eyes that Mitsuki started to show. Something he hadn't see in a long time.
"Really?!" Mitsuki asked in disbelief. The long awaited eye donor that she had been waiting for finally arrived and Mitsuki just can't wait to escape this agony and this disabilities. Also, she can't wait to see Midorima again.
It was the thing that she missed the most.
"Yes, we can start the preparation of the operation next week. Are you okay with that?"
Mitsuki nodded, anything if that means I can see you again, Shintarou. Mitsuki smiled at the thought, and she can't see how Midorima's tears started to build up in his eyes seeing the smile Mitsuki rarely put on her face since the day of the accident.
He smiled back, though he knew the person in front of him can't see it, he was happy to see Mitsuki for once answering her with those cheerful tone she used to have.
"Believe me, you can see again, Mitsuki. I've always known it." Midorima caressed her hand softly.
As long as Mitsuki happy. As long as Mitsuki can reach her dreams. Anything else doesn't matter.
"Good morning, Ms. Takada! Are you ready for today?" The nurse excitedly greets as she starts to open the curtains, letting the morning sun rays came for Mitsuki that had already woke up from her sleep.
"Good morning, yes I'm really excited. I can't wait to see my fiancé."
The nurse didn't reply back, only quietly bid herself from the room. If only Mitsuki know the face the nurse just made.
The schedule for her to get her blindfold and bandages removed was after the lunch. There were the nurses and doctor around and also Takao. He really is excited to see his best friend finally be able to see again.
"Are you ready, Ms. Takada?"
"Yes, please continue, doctor."
Takao smiled, "finally, Mitsuki." Mitsuki smiled as she hears that, feeling grateful Takao was there to accompany her.
The bright lights were there when she dared to slowly open her eyes. Everything seemed like all in yellow colors when she started to see things, and the colors slowly coming, letting her see the proper figures of the hospital room and nurses with doctors around.
After brief examinations the doctor and nurses bid themselves to excuse the room, letting Mitsuki have some moments with her new vision.
Mitsuki thanked them and realized that Takao was there. Which continues to a big question she was suddenly having the moment she can see the things around her with her new eyes.
"Takao" She called, and the startle on the man was clearly visible to Mitsuki. Mitsuki was surprised that Takao still didn't look back at her.
"Where is Shintarou…?"
"He was meeting patients, Mitsuki, he told me to tell you his apology and he will meet you at home." Takao answers. A little bit too fast, in Mitsuki thought.
Takao accompanied her and taking her back to home, as he pushes her wheelchair and opened the door for her. Mitsuki herself cannot contain her joy as now she saw the look of the house that she and Midorima had lived in. There are not many changes, but she still missed this view so much.
Takao continues guiding her to the house and gave her a tour to see every corner of her home. She could see the room that she and Midorima shared, also the kitchens with those jar of coffee beans stacked neatly into the shelves. Oh, how she missed making coffees.
They were back at the living room, and Takao had been avoiding Mitsuki's eyes every time they speak.
"Where is Shintarou…?" She asked.
But then her words trailed off at the moment Takao looks back at her. And she was very confused the moment she looks her best friend who is not giving her any response, was actually letting out tears from his eyes. Why would he cry?
"T-Takao…" Mitsuki stuttered, a fear came to her suddenly as there's one probable assumption she was making right now about her fiancé whereabouts.
There must be a reason why the house looks so tidy.
There must be a reason why the bed sheets look so neat.
There must be a reason why Shintarou wasn't there at the hospital…
The room was filled with silence, until a sob from Mitsuki breaks. Mitsuki started to see what it really was. Mitsuki started to know what the meaning behind Takao's expression when he looks back at her, but still not answering her question and gave her a letter instead. And Mitsuki could feel how her hand followed shaking terribly as she saw how Takao's hand shaking when he gave it to her
On the other side, Takao himself was struggling very hard to the reality when he catches the green orbs as he looks back at Mitsuki's new eyes.
"Stop doing this. You're pitying me, right?"
"…."
"You know what, this is probably the only chance to walk away from me. Don't make it such a waste, Shintarou!" She laughed as she saying that. The laugh was somehow unbearable for Midorima to hear.
"…"
"So, you won't need to lie to yourself or forcing yourself to say the words."
"…"
"You don't love me right?"
"…."
"Just go."
"…"
"I'll promise to make you happy with all my heart,"
Midorima continues with a gentle smile, "Even though that means I can never see you again."
.
.
.
.
.
Shintarou's letter
Dear, my beloved Mitsuki
When you read this letter, that means I will know that you finally be able to see again. I am so happy for you, Mitsuki.
Do you remember? The moment we met? I actually see no importance of telling you this but I think I need to write something like this so this letter would seem long. But I was really happy and I thanked Oha Asa many times for making you taking my umbrella instead of mine when you walked away from the bookstore. Though I still remember how persistent you are on telling me that it was your umbrella, which is, of course, you're wrong. You took my umbrella instead. But that's okay, because thanks to that (and thanks to Oha Asa), I met you.
I want you to know that you are very beautiful, and I know I didn't say this a lot in the past. But if I was given another chance, I will tell you that every day. If I was given another chance, I will tell you every day on how captivating you are with the smile you always wears every time you told me about your happy days. And also I will tell you every day how I never grew tired of seeing you and hearing your voice. And I will tell you every day about how sorry I am for being such a loser for my pride that I didn't tell you more frequent those things you want to hear from me. If I was given another chance, I will tell you every day how much I love you.
I want you to know that I always cheered for your dreams, no matter how silly it still sounds for you to tell people loudly about our relationship in your giving speech in the day of your exhibition. I know you always cheer for my dreams too, but above all those unnecessary things, it was you. You are my dream. God, this letter turned into a little bit more embarrassing than I thought, nanodayo.
So please, reach out your dream and every time you look in the mirror, you can see that I'm always there with you. I will help you to see the world and make your dream come true. Don't worry about me leaving you, part of me is with you now and I am happy to have the privilege to see the world with you.
You asked me one time, Mitsuki. And I'm really angry at myself when hearing your question.
You asked me that I don't love you. And I realized I had already become such a coward for not telling you that more frequent. And now when I had no chance, I am dying to tell those three words to you. But now I really had none, so with this letter, I want to tell you that I love you, Mitsuki.
I love you with all my heart.
.
.
Forever yours,
Midorima Shintarou
A/N : Yeah! that's it. I'm actually very sad about the plot ugh Midorima Shintarou whyyyy. But this fic is actually inspired by the music video from Virzha titled 'Aku Lelakimu' (Meaning: I am your man). LOLLL. the idea planted in my head when i was doing karaokes with my friends and my friend chose the song and hellll, it was sad af. i hope you enjoy the fic!