"Mommy?"
"Yes, dear?" she had replied, bending to hover over me, a sweet smile pulling at her lips. She was always so gentle, peaceable. Placid among the hectic nature of our family.
"Is the moon real?"
Amiably, she laughed, the sound as soft as the clinking of ice. "Of course it is, sweetheart. Why would you think otherwise?"
Well, she didn't have to laugh. I pouted."Sometimes I see things that nobody else can."
"That doesn't mean they're not real," she answered simply.
"But can everyone else see the moon?"
"Yep."
"Then why is it following me?"
Silently contemplating my question, she looked to the sky. "Maybe it's looking after you, for when I can't. The moon doesn't really go away during the day either. It's keeping on eye on you, that's all. You know," she continued, "the sun and the moon. It's sort of like a love story. Without the moon, the sun would be lonely, even when it has all of the earth to itself. Nighttime is the only time we see them together."
"Huh?"
She explained, "See, the moon only shines because the sun does."
"Mommy, you're not making any sense."
"No, I suppose I'm not," she giggled. "But someday, Ichigo, I think you'll understand. You'll be someone's sun, and she'll be your moon. She'll look after you, and you'll shine together."
I wrinkled my nose.
I look up at the sky, absent of any sort of spiritual pressure. All around me, I feel the air, thick and potent with nothing. In the back of my mind, there is a constant gnawing, a reminder: what is between the air? When I speak to someone living, am I speaking through someone dead?
Shivering, I zip my sweatshirt further up, my eyes still focused on the sky.
Light pollution has blotted out all the stars, leaving it tar black, but it only seems to enhance the moon's ghostly beauty. After all this time, it's still been watching over me.
It's strange, sitting here on the roof without Rukia. It's even stranger that I find that strange. It's not like we haven't been apart before, but this time there was a finality to it. A last goodbye. The last goodbye.
Again, the question skitters through my brain, down my spine: Will I ever see her again?
And again, I turn to the moon. They aren't so different, Rukia and the moon. I sigh through my nose. Why do I feel so alone? I have my family, my friends.
What was it Mom had said about the sun and the moon? Without the moon, the sun would be lonely, even when it has all of the earth to itself. I may not have her, but I know that at one point I did. She once told me that she'd find me by any means necessary, whether or not that applied to this situation, I don't care. I have faith in her. Dusk will come.
A soft laugh falls from my mouth. She's only been gone a day, and what a sap I've become. Tearing my eyes away from the night sky, I turn to my right.
"I wonder if you're still here," I mutter, pretending she is. I can just make her out, sitting with Yuzu's dress tucked over her bent knees, arms hugging her legs to her chest. The imaginary Rukia turns to me, smiling.
A flame blooms within my chest, my spirits buffeted further by the imagined figure. She may not be around, but she'll come back, no matter how long it takes. I know she will. Yes, I answer the question still buzzing at my spine. Yes, I will see her again. But in the meantime, I'll just have to live.
Even though I can't see her, she'll be watching over me. My moon.