Torn Apart

Preface

Humans, vampires, werewolves, it didn't matter what species you were; you could never be immune to suffering. Sure, vampires and werewolves couldn't really suffer physical pain- given that vampires were very hard to injure or harm and werewolves healed fast- but that didn't mean that they couldn't be maimed internally.

I had finally realised that, but much too late. If I had realised earlier, I might have been able to solve the situation, instead of ruining everything beyond repair and then inflicting hurt upon myself. But what could I have done to help? I had given and done everything I possibly could so that I was no longer whole, I was in pieces, and I was torn too far apart to ever come together again. I was alone, shattered and, Torn Apart.

Chapter One

"Renesmee, wake up!" I heard my mother's voice call up to me. Although, there was no need for her to call as I was already awake, dressed and ready to go, as though I could ever sleep through my first day in Forks High School.

Mom was obviously only yelling up to me as I hadn't appeared downstairs yet. An odd action from me, I know, when I had been awake and ready for the last hour. Her assumption was understandable as I was always the last one to wake, never having been a morning person. I laughed aloud at that thought; I wasn't a morning person, because technically I wasn't a person. Aside from Grandpa Charlie, none of my family was human. They were vampires, Grandpa Charlie a human, and me, somewhere in between; not quite fitting in anywhere.

"Nessie, being late on your first day is not likely to make a good impression on anyone" Mom shouted angrily, in a tone that said quite clearly that if I didn't get my ass down there right this instant, then she was going to come and force me down (which wouldn't be pretty).

Sighing, I hollered back: "I'm coming, mom".

Obviously, I had used up enough time, fretting over whether or not I would fit in at my new school. I had wasted enough time, contemplating the fact that at the age of seventeen, I was going to be entering a school for the first time ever, not that I would reveal that piece of information to any of my peers. My peers. All those humans with a steady flow of edible blood running through their veins, all within close proximity within me, which I would have to resist. This had been drilled into my head by the whole of my family for the past number of weeks, preparing me for this new experience.

I did not resent my family for not allowing me to start school until now, it had been necessary; I had been aging too quickly. If they had made me start school from Kindergarten, it would've only been to see me in first grade within less than half a year. But now that I had stopped aging, I could start studying in a school instead of being taught at home by Grandpa Carlisle and my father.

"You stopped aging rather earlier than we expected, we hadn't anticipated that when you stopped aging, you would still be young enough to be in high school" Grandpa Carlisle told me as the whole family discussed whether or not I should enrol in high school.

It had finally been decided that I should enrol to keep up appearances. For years, I had been unable to wander into the centre of the town of forks, within sight of the residents, lest should anyone notice that I looked a little older than I had a couple of days ago. The Cullens had all fabricated the story that I was some distant relative that had been studying somewhere abroad. My parents looked much too young to be parents of a seventeen year old girl so they had to pretend to be some relatives.

The reason for my return to Forks after all these years to enrol in high school would be that I had been having some trouble with my imaginary parents that lived abroad. I was now supposedly living here with the Cullens who were only too happy to have me. Grandpa Charlie who was a human knew only a part of this. He knew that all of us Cullens were from a different world, apart from the werewolves, he knew nothing else. As far as my true identity was concerned, he knew that I wasn't just a relative, but that I had been here in Forks since I was a baby.

However, it was not possible for Grandpa Charlie to see me too often as he would notice how in the short space of six years, I had already matured to seventeen. Mom managed to prevent frequent visits from Grandpa Charlie by pretending that during all the school semesters, I was too busy to visit. During the summer, she insisted to Charlie that I be sent to Florida to visit Grandma Renee who I never visited, but only spoke to on the phone. Mom appeased Grandpa Charlie by allowing him to talk to me on the phone, and visiting him herself so that he wouldn't feel completely abandoned.

This pretence had annoyed me from time to time, but it had been necessary to prevent people from noticing the fast progress in which I was maturing. I had been waiting for years for the day I would stop maturing and could finally go out in public and attend school like Jacob did. But now that it was actually happening, I was nervous about entering Forks High School for the first time.

"Nessie, if you're not here within the next five seconds, I am going to come and drag you down here" Mom called angrily, making me come out of my reverie with a jump. I realised that the doubts that had been stalking me for the last couple of days had caused me to linger in my room for longer than I had intended.

I cast one swift glance in the full-length mirror in my bedroom, making sure that my long, waist-length, bronze coloured curls were still neatly tied up in its long braid, trailing down my back. Then I flew down the stairs, going at my vampire speed to prevent mom from going from angry to murderously furious.

"Wow, perfect timing, Ness, if you came a second later, Bella probably would've trashed your room" Uncle Emmet guffawed as I skidded to a halt downstairs, in front of my mom.

"Yeah, she definitely would've, but by the time she would've finished, I would've jumped out the window, and ran all the way to school." I grinned at him.

"Well, if you still want to get there on time, you're going to have to get in the car, now" Dad notified me as he got up from the stool behind his piano. I hadn't been aware that he had been playing; I wish I had been as it would've calmed my frazzled nerves. I was so nervous that I could hear my heart accelerate as my dad got the car keys to his Volvo.

Dad pivoted round to face me at that moment: "You're nervous". It wasn't a question; he knew I was as he had obviously heard my thoughts. Damn! I had been so nervous that I'd forgotten about that specific talent of his, otherwise I would've been more careful about my thoughts around him. I didn't want anyone to know how nervous I was; I never like to show any signs of weakness.

"Yes" I agreed, there was no point denying it.

"Do you want me to get Jasper?" Dad asked, looking concerned.

I shook my head. It would be lovely and soothing to have Uncle Jasper manipulate my mood to a more serene note. But he wasn't going to be with me all day in school, and as soon as I left his company, all my doubts and worries would return, so really, there was no point asking for his help.

"Maybe you can get Auntie Alice to tell us whether or not I am going to survive today" I suggested.

Dad chuckled and replied: "I don't think anyone would need an Alice to know that you'll be absolutely fine".

"How can you be so sure?" I retorted.

"Because it's you. You've always been so confident and courageous; you make everyone love you straight away. Besides, you're indestructible, you can't die, so there's no doubt that you'll survive."

I glared at him and responded: "I might be indestructible, but that doesn't mean I can't feel extreme pain".

Dad just laughed and walked out the door to his Volvo, expecting me to follow. I lingered for a few seconds before deciding that this was inevitable. However, I was stopped by my mom's voice.

"Edward is right, Nessie. You'll be fine" mom assured me.

I nodded. Mom and dad were right; I was going to be fine. It was just a high school, for god's sake, not a pit of wild grizzly bears- although, I most definitely could come out of fight with grizzly bears without any serious injuries- I could handle this, I was just letting my nerves overwhelm me.

I squared my shoulders determinedly, I was a Cullen, and Cullens were always impeccable at keeping up appearances and looking out for their family, doing their best to make things easier for everyone. I was a fully matured woman now, I had stopped aging, even according to human standards, I was seventeen, and that was old enough to adopt some form of responsibility.

I walked out the door, ready to come into the sight of all the other people of Forks. I got into the Volvo and dad started the engine, racing us to the first day of my new life.