Wrote this based off a USUK comic. Kind of feelsy, tbh.
The hair on the back of Ritsu's head is messed up. There are clumps that stick out like they defy gravity, and Masamune finds his vision blurring even more trying to pick out the individual strands in the dark.
He can't sleep, his bones feeling too restless for how loose and exhausted his muscles are. All day he was running around, talking to the printers, figuring out where one of his author's panels sounded awkward or forced. He should be dead to the world, lost in dreams of spun sugar and, most of all, the one lying in front of him. But, he can't.
A strange feeling envelops him, makes his breath heavy. He wonders if the next morning Ritsu will suddenly wake up and decide that they shouldn't be together anymore, or that Masamune's undying love for him is not real, or that he really does want to take over his father's company and then Masamune will barely see him afterwards and they'll struggle to keep their relationship from falling apart. He wonders until his thoughts race circles around his mind, and it makes him dizzy with terrible possibilities.
Suddenly, he can't stay still. He wants to jump up and walk around the neighborhood; he wants to run outside and scream; he wants to shake Ritsu up and demand that he not leave him, ever.
What am I even thinking? He asks himself, half in disbelief and half in helpless desperation. His insecurities are getting the best of him again.
Sometimes there are moments in which all of his doubts and worries and fears—so many and so strong, and not just about Ritsu, about everything—makes him want to tear out of his skin or pretend his body isn't alive. It is such a pervasive feeling, one that absorbs into your veins and keeps you thrumming with nerves.
"Ritsu," he whispers into the hazy darkness, voice cracking from the late hour and lack of sleep.
It takes a minute, but then he answers quietly like he'd been expecting this all along, like he was just waiting for Masamune's call of his name. "What is it?"
His mouth abruptly stops working, and all he can manage is, "You know, I love you a lot."
Ritsu is utterly silent for the next few moments. At the same time, Masamune's thoughts eat him alive. His heart is beating staccatos under his ribs and he has the oddest sensation of vibrating—inside and out, like everything can't stay still. He shuffles forward a little, just enough so that his hands are pressed lightly against Ritsu's back, but it's still not good. He feels like crying, so he shuts his eyes to lock them in.
What he said wasn't nearly enough to express everything.
You are my support and
I cherish your opinions, your actions and
Stay, mostly stay, don't leave me, stay close to my side, please, I need you here with me.
Finally, there's a soft rasp of an inhale, and Ritsu murmurs, "I know," and he says it in a way like he understands, he knows all the nuances and tiny details of what Masamune really meant. Slowly, Ritsu brings Masamune's arms around his middle, and his hands are placed gently over clenched ones, tight in his shirt. "Now go to sleep," he says on an exhale, already relaxing again and drifting off.
Almost tearfully, Masamune noses the back of Ritsu's head, messing his hair up even more; and the motion enables him to relax as well, hands loosening on Ritsu's nightshirt and breaths evening out until he cannot stay awake any longer.
A/N: I cried a bit when I read this comic—I don't know, I have a lot of feels about USUK.
-ChemicallyEnhanced