A/N This is probably the weirdest thing I've ever written but...well enjoy!
It's the Day. The Day of all days. The day where crowned prince Firelord Zuko will address each of the two remaining nations in turn and hopefully not die in the barrage of assassination attempts and hate blows. Zuko thumped his fist into his face groaning at the mere thought of the horrendous journey he was bound to have. Smirking from the corner Sokka scoffed. "What, is the little Firelord scared?" eyes quirking up amusedly and the tips of his mouth inching upwards.
The scarred boy growled and leaned back into a bending stance. "Not in the mood idiot."
Holding his hands up in the air peacefully Sokka grinned. "Hey, hey, don't get mad at me for stating the obvious." Already on the tis of his toes for a great escape he was rewarded with a roar.
"Why you obnoxious, stupid little-"
"Hey everyone!" Aang's cheerful voice flooded the air and purged it of the spontaneous anger. Unfortunately, it did nothing to stop the fireball speeding his way. "Aang look out!" Zuko yelled from behind the blaze.
Misty eyes widening in surprise, the little airbender whipped around and funneled the fire in a tornado of air and wind. With the threat disabled the newly entered Katara turned to Zuko. "Zukoooo! How many times have I told you that Sokka is not a fire target!"
"He started it!" Zuko defended himself pitifully.
Katara's hands rose to her waist in admonition. With Sokka attempting to sneak off while sending victorious looks at Aang, Katara whipped up a water curl from her ever present jar at her hip and halted his leaving. "And where do you think you're going Sokka? We all know you started it."
"What? Did not-!"
A mini earthquake under his feet stopped him midsentence. "You're lying Snoozles." Came the sing-songy sarcastic voice of a short but still fierce Toph.
Sweat-dropping Sokka moaned. "If ickle Zuzu wasn't scared,( "don't call me Zuzu!)Then I wouldn't have made fun of him." Tilting his head up in the air self-righteously Sokka huffed.
Smiling Aang reached a hand out to Zuko and grabbed his shoulder. " It'll be fine Zuko, you're a good guy and besides we'll all be there to protect you." Innocently smiling Zuko couldn't possibly get mad at him but…" Protected? I don't need to be protected! I'm older than you for crying out loud!"
Noticing all the uh-huh-suuuure- stares he was getting from everyone Zuko threw up his hands and pouted. "Yeah, yeah, he's the stupid Avatar."
Coyly smiling Katara pinched his cheek affectionately and in a babying voice said. "Now there's a good boy." With Zuko glowering all the way to boat.
One day later and the five of them all made it the capitol of the Earth Kingdom Ba-Sing-Se. There, all the heads and officials of all the other cities and villages had congregated along with thousands of other citizens who all came to see the new Firelord and what he had to say for himself. Or rather, what he could possibly say for himself and the atrocities committed by him and his people.
Currently, Team Avatar, as Sokka so dubbed them, were hiding out in the waiting room and Zuko was currently hyperventilating. "Oh Godddd what do I say? The Earth Kingdom is going to eat me alive! What am I going to do? Ahhh, jeee, shoot. Goddamit! Why didn't Uncle take this damned job!" The Firelord was pacing around the room and throwing his hands up in frustration at random intervals during his tirade.
Finally getting sick of his mini meltdown Toph slammed her foot into the earth and sent him flying into the sky to be caught by two stone pillars keeping him aloft. "Are you done? You're going to be fine you over-thinking, sorry excuse for a pretty boy. Now man up and get out there and give them a speech to remember! You're the Firelord! And more importantly, you're Zuko son of Ursa. So go out there and show whose boss!"
Zuko blinked. "Yeah, yeah I'm gonna go out there and tell 'em!" confidence slowly making its way into his voice.
Grinning satisfactorily, Toph lunged her arms to the side and the pillars started moving at an unbelievable speed. "Toph…Toph what do you think you're doing?" the prince screamed.
"You're late hothead." Was her only answer.
Realizing what was going on he screamed in terror. "No! I'm not ready! Let Aang talk to them. No! Noooo!" and suddenly, he was on the platform with millions of eyes gawking at him.
Eyes widening, he straightened up his posture and swallowed loudly trying to maintain some sense of dignity and respect. "Uh..um…hello great people of the Earth Kingdom!" he swore he could hear crickets chirping in the background." Ummm, well as many of you know, I am the current Firelord Zuko son of Ursa and Ozai." At the sound of his father's name a cacophony of boos and down with the Fire Nation could be heard. Gulping Zuko tried to maintain control of the situation. "I..Umm…I just wanted to let all of you know that I am not my father-!" a tomato. Someone had actually thrown a tomato at him. Oh Godddd why did he agree to do this?
"They're eating him alive! We have to do something!" Katara's worried voice clawed at the other three's consciences.
Sokka however, was busy howling like a hyena in the background with Toph making fake impressions of a stuttering Zuko and all the junk he was currently spouting out. "Guys! Listen up! Katara's right. Zuko's our friend and we gotta do something!" Aang's determined voice snapped them into reality.
"Aww come on Aang can't we have some fun?" Sokka whined.
Giving him a look that even Toph could sense the two relented in submission. " Alright, alright, so what's the plan." Toph asked , sulking.
Three pairs of eyes swivelled to Sokka. "What?"
Five minutes later the three concocted what Toph liked to call the stupidest stunt they had ever pulled which included Katara's lets-turn-in-Toph-for-money-plan that they had ever pulled ever. Unfortunately, the rest of them had to agree. It was one sorry excuse for a plan and so cheesy that Sokka swore they could make sandwiches. Cooing like a snake-bird, Katara knew that it was time. She was up.
Adorned in a black ninja outfit and a brilliant yellow mask, she stood next to Toph who looked identical save for an orange mask on her face. "Ready Toph?"
"Hell yah." Was her tough as nails reply.
They were positioned at the center front of the crowd and bean to slowly move to the sides. Toph on the left and Katara on the right, when they were in perfect position they attacked. Unbeknownst to the stuttering Firelord, Aang was currently behind him on the other balcony just left of him. Trying as hard as possible to be nonchalant Aang tried his best not to notice the two girls racing towards him with "obvious mal-intent."
"Hahh! Down with the Avatar!" Katara screamed as she sent a whip of water crashing in his direction.
"Oh no! I've been hit!" Aang cried out rather fakely.
Face-palming, Toph decided to really let him have it for being such an airhead. Smashing her fists against the air and shifting her weight through two different stances, she sent the balcony falling to its doom and two spikes of pointed death sent to impale him. Waves of water from below sent Aang crashing into one of the spikes and for one split second he really thought he was going to die. Until of course the dashing Firelord Zuko came to the rescue. Apparently he had jumped from his spot down to where he was and sent a wave of fire at the spike tip. Blunting it slightly, he pushed off the edge of the wall and grabbed the little air-bender into his arms and back-flipped into a pile of hay.
Spitting out the foul stuff Zuko croaked out a question. "You okay Aang?"
"Yeah, I think so." Came his muffled reply.
"Good…'cause I'm gonna kill you!" but before he could say anything, Sokka dressed up as an old earth bender came running from below.
"The new Firelord saved the Avatar! He's a hero! He saved the Avatar!" Sokka being Sokka somehow got the crowd to cheer. Of course, Toph and Katara now dressed normally and being placed in opposite ends of the crowd probably helped too. Not to mention a few friends they had and acquaintances who started to cheer. Pretty soon chants of Zuko! Zuko! Zuko! Were heard all over.
Red tinted Zuko's cheeks a bit while he looked at Aang's mischievous and self-satisfied grin. "You planned this didn't you?"
"Who me? Nooo…it was all Sokka!" Zuko face-palmed before turning to the crowd, a speech suddenly made evident in his eyes.
"And now, before I continue my address to you all I would like the Avatar to say a few words." Oh revenge is sweet…
Shock registered on Aang's face before a strange light entered his eye. Oh no….lights are not good, not good! "Hello Earth Kingdom!" cheers exploded from the masses and Zuko couldn't help but stare. What, so when he said the exact same thing all he got was crickets? What was that? "Firelord Ozai has done some terrible things in the past but I hope that you won't judge his son, who really is a momma's boy too harshly." "Momma's boy?" "Well its true isn't it?...Anyway, I've known Zuko for a very long time, and for most of it, we weren't friends. But later, Zuko proved to be one of the best friends I have and a strong ally. Yes, he's brash, obnoxious at times, he loses his temper a lot and he never helps me plan pranks. And yes, his hair flip can get kind of annoying and he jumps to conclusions more often than not, but behind all that there's a strong and abled fighter whose heart is in the right place. As the Avatar, I know that he will make an excellent leader and bring back the glory that was the Fire Nation!"
Somehow, Zuko was still conflicted as to whether or not he wanted to kill his friend or hug him. So he just decided with the typical Zuko way of life and just ignored him. Something would come to him later. "You have been scarred and hurt by this war but I want you to know that you are not the only ones. I too was burned by the rage of my father. He himself burned me at the tender age of thirteen and later, he took my mother away from me. He was about to kill me for the throne but my mother sacrificed herself for me and my father got rid of the only family I had besides my uncle who truly loved me. I too have been scarred by my father. And that everyone is the true enemy! Not the citizens of the Fire Nation but my father. Do you think armies have a choice in how they fight? Not with my father under command and with their families in his grasp. No, the Fire Nation is not to blame so please do not put your hatred on the innocents of my people. My greatest wish is to bring back the legacy of the Fire Nation and unite this world and restore balance once again!" turning on his heel as if he couldn't stand to be under the sun's glare for one more second, he ran out from the balcony with Aang following close on his heels.
"I told you, you would do fine." Aang smiled happily.
"You think so?"
"Yup, I can tell, they're already warming up to you."
"Thanks by the way…that little stunt you pulled back there probably helped a bit."
"Yeah well you know, as your grandpa once said, being the Avatar has its perks…with politics and the ladies!"
Shock etched itself in Zuko's face. "Avatar Roku said that?"
"Yup! You should have seen the way he talked about your grandma…" instantaneously both the boys shuddered at the thought and promised to never bring it up again.
Later on that evening Sokka was proud to announce that they're little skit turned out pretty well and that Zuko owed him a humongous favour. Aang swore that a vein popped in Zuko's forehead when he exploded. "WHAT? My room was vandalised with rotten tomatoes and mud! You call that SUCCESS?"
Toph started to inch away slowly at that point. "Whoops." She muttered lightly. "Wrong room." Blushing meekly she sprinted out of the room before Zuko could burn her feet for a week as punishment.
Katara just giggled into her hand. "At least no one told him the ORIGINAL plan." Smirking knowingly.
Suki smiled conspiratorially. "Awww but I really liked that plan!"
Sokka rubbed his fingers against his chin trying to look wise. "I dunno, I think our little Zuzu would have looked cute in a dress."
"SAY WHAT?"
A/N Ummmm I have absolutely NO IDEA what this is. This is my fail attempt at humor or whatever this is. Please don't burn me at the stake with how awful this is. But I made a promise to one of my friends to upload anything I write onto fanfiction because she thought I was "wasting potential" and all I'm wondering is what potential? But well, nothing I can do about it now. Hope it at least kind of made you laugh!
Rei