Why am I writing this?

When the film ended, everyone was so happy. Everyone was either thinking, "Yay! Cady isn't hated anymore!", or, "Regina's nice now!" and sometimes even thinking, "Omg, Karen looks so nice in her dress!". Now let me ask you one thing, was anyone noticing that I was actually looking alright for once! I mean, I had a really hard time changing into nice things after no one caught me, causing me to fall on Karen! My excuse is, I was wearing something really adorable that day, and everyone was so stunned by it that their brain didn't register to catch me. Meanwhile, Karen has no brain. When I went to the Spring Fling, I had a hard time picking out a dress because my head was aching! Could be because I had my first doughnut in a couple of months, gotta keep my body slim and perfect, but I bet it was because of the fall! I quickly selected something and went, also my excuse for not being Spring Fling queen! A purple dress, with a red bow! So not fetch!

Speaking of which, why will no one let me say fetch, it's really annoying! So everyone is allowed to say, omg, lol, lmao, and not FETCH! Outrageous, if it is said by me, why is it not yet a thing! Crazy, absolutely crazy. We could make it a thing, if only people said it more!

I've joined a new group now, but I miss my old group. I even miss Regina George. You know, the girl who I made an awesome Caesar reference to during History. It was so cool, I can't believe I got a D. My teacher even recommended that I show less emotion next time. RUDE!

So you may be wondering, why am I actually writing this? I could be getting a manicure right now! Well, fear not, I'll explain.

I saw Cady that week, on a Wednesday, and she came wearing a white sweater and jeans. I struggled to look at her.

"Do I not look right?" she asked, seeing my face.

"We wear pink on Wednesdays!" I cried, but she looked at me strangely. "Do we not do that anymore?"

"I didn't know we did." she shrugged innocently.

I sighed, the Plastics were really no longer a thing.

"Come in." I opened the door.

We made popcorn and sat on the sofa.

"We have a lot of tests coming up." she said. "And I have really gotten into writing, should I pursue writing or mathematics?"

I shrugged. "Aren't they both the same?"

Cady stared at me. "What do you want to be when you're older?"

"Geez, I don't know, a model? A youtuber?"

"What subjects do you like? Base it on them!" she said.

"Uh, Lunch?"

Cady giggled a little, a laugh only she can get away with. It took me a while for me to realise that she didn't realise I wasn't joking. "No, I mean actual subjects! You know, like mathematics, linguistics, physical social health education?"

I sighed, there is something I truly hate about Cady. No one says, "Time for mathematics!", everyone simply says, "maths". No one decides to waste time saying physical social health education, we all just say PSHE. Well, everyone except her. She never says short versions, they are always long.

"Um, maybe something?" I shrugged.

"Like what?"

"Um, I don't know!"

Cady sighed. "You know, maybe you should try writing!"

"Oh, please."

But Cady jumped from the sofa in eagerness. "Come on, let's go get you a notebook! I'll pay!"

If it was any person except Cady, I would have made them drag me there and then I'd sneak away to the nearest pub. But, unfortunately, her big eager eyes made me unable to refuse. We looked at all the notebooks, and I picked a pink, fluffly one which said on it in large black writing, "Pink is the new Black". Once we bought it Cady gave me some writing ideas.

"I'm writing one of a teacher forced to deal with ravaging kids." Cady paused. "Ms Norbury is helping me with it."

"Clearly." I groaned.

"What about someone who's plain crash landed in the Amazon?"

"Maybe, and then in the end she realises she can't live without lipstick and kills herself!"

I swear I saw Cady roll her eyes a bit. "Maybe something else. What about a story in a cat's point of view?"

"Oh yeah! It was a human who turned into a cat!"

"You're getting somewhere!" she grinned.

"But then she realises that cats still have periods, and so it kinda sucks!"

Cady's smile dropped and she struggled not to facepalm. "What about a book on yourself?"

"Yes! Perfect! All about my daily life!"

Cady's smile returned as she sighed in relief. "I gotta go, I have a strict curfew!"

"Then I'll start on it!"

So that's why I'm writing this now, because Cady forced me to. If you happen to be reading this, please tell your friends about it! Soon I'll be the historical figure, the almighty, GRETCHEN WIENERS!

Ugh, I hate my last name. Next chapter will be about why! For now, I must have my beauty sleep! My mom normally takes my phone away at this time, but right now she's in Canada with Dad, premiering the first toaster strudel to come to Canada! Dad says we'll be rich! Mom says that we will sell to more countries! Another reason I'll be a historical figure, I guess.