Hello guys, I decided to write a depressing/fluffy Lockwood and Co. Fanfic. TW: Self Harm and Depression. There is some sort of ship here I guess is Lockwood and Kipps even a ship? Well it is now.

Also: I don't own Lockwood and co. I'm a teenaged girl, not Jonathan Stroud.

(Originally Published: Feb 11, 2017. Remastered: Jan 28, 2018.)

(Let's see what a year progress does to a person.)

Lockwood missing his sister would be an understatement.

The teenaged boy had been depressed for what seemed like years after her death. Somewhere in the rubble of the past five years he had picked up a fairly nasty habit. When he had been practising one day, he swung his rapier violently. It struck his other arm leaving a small cut in its place.

He watched with interest as blood dribbled slowly down his arm. The flow of blood seemed to take away the heavy burden of which he felt over him. To protect others against ghosts where he had failed his darling sister. Oh, how he missed her still.

This went on for a while, less by accident and more a deliberate attempt to watch himself bleed. People would never notice under the long swishing trench coat that the confident leader of Lockwood and co. wore, was a broken boy.

A pale faced teen who had lost himself to his demons. He could fight off a ghost sure, but fighting himself was more difficult than any ghost he'd ever fought. Sure, he had the two best friends he could ever dream of, Lucy and George who stayed by his side. But they didn't know what he'd been through in his life.

His parents dead, His sister also dead.

He still remembered the days before those two, before the agency. When nothing kept him off the edge of insanity. He wondered across the line a couple times, where he cut too deep and would wake up in the bathtub hours later still bloody.


On one fateful case however, Lucy and George both somehow got ghost touched.

He remembered the case well as it was the most recent. A lithe young woman had curtly knocked upon the door of Portland Row one morning. She slung the back of her hand against her forehead in a much too dramatic manner, whilst complaining of a ghost troubling her waking hours. Being eager for a little bit of cash the three of them took up the case without a second thought. Which bought them to this predicament in the first place.

After George and Lucy had been ghost touched, Lockwood fought off the ghosts and was somehow able to call an ambulance. Despite the fact the ghost had thrown a knife across the room that had slashed his arm. He'd been bleeding heavily for ten minutes, whilst still worrying over Lucy and George. He remembered hearing a paramedic come up the stairs before crashing to the floor unconscious.

He was the first of the three to be let out of the hospital once he awoke.

He was home alone now his friends in hospital being treated for the thing that caused his sister to die. He walked into the bathroom one deed on his mind, he tugged off his jacket, and searched for the hidden place where he used to keep the blade.

He found it in the old cubby, behind the sink. Where he'd always left it. He grabbed the razor and sat cross legged in the bath tub.

He sliced the blade across his arms leaving them bleeding in the pale moonlight of the rising moon, glaring through the bathroom window. He passed out from blood loss about twenty or so minutes later.


To say that Quill Kipps was shocked when passing down Portland row to see the door to Lockwood and Co.'s establishment open would be an understatement.

His curiosity was peaked, so he decided to go see why it was open. He strode over the iron line that crossed the path then slowly entered through the door. No agent was there to stop him as he slowly looked around the first floor. Finding nobody he ascended the stairs to the second floor. Ahead of him was a small landing that had a few doors, one was ajar…

He pushed open the door only to see probably the most gruesome sight he had ever seen, and obviously as an agent he'd seen a fair share of bodies over the years. The boy that he had grown to both love and hate was laying in the bathtub, covered in blood.

The culprit to this was a small razor blade that Antony held in his limp hand. Kipps panicked and bent down, before taking the blade from Antony's hand. He threw it in the sink then turned around back to him. He slapped him across the face.

"Antony." He hissed. Realising he was having no effect he performed the rest of the 'DRS ABC's'

D stood for danger, he checked over Antony again, the razor seemed to be the only danger, thankfully.

The R stood for response. He didn't get any.

The S was for shout. He didn't have anyone to call for.

Next was A, tilt the head back to make sure the airway wasn't blocked.

Then came B, check to see if the casualty is breathing. Thankfully he was.

Lastly was C, call an ambulance or preform CPR. He didn't phone anybody. He picked Lockwood up, and carried him bridle style from the bathroom. He explored the rooms on the landing. Luckily the other rooms had discernible markings allowing him to figure out which room was Antony's.

He placed the bloody boy gently on the bed, before running back across to the bathroom. He grabbed a damp rag, then he ran back to Lockwood. He dabbed the cloth across Antony's arm. Revealing a spider web of scars that lie beneath the crusty layer of blood. This had obviously been happening for a while. He kept repeating the process until Lockwood's arms were entirely clean. Kipps sat back on a chair that was fairly near to Lockwood's bed. And he waited…

Kipps had been there for about an hour when Lockwood began to stir. His eyes fluttered and he woke up. As soon as he saw Kipps' face he panicked.
"Jesus Antony! Calm down will ya!" Yelled Kipps. He seemed to calm down at the yell.

"Kipps, what are you doing here? Wait," -He looked at his wrists-

"Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My god." He kept repeating.

"Did you clean them up?" He asked Kipps eventually.

"Well yeah, why'd you think I'm here?" Kipps replied flippantly.

"I saw the door open so I decided to see who was home, where are Carlyle and Cubbins?" Kipps questioned.

"They both got ghost touched Kipps, Oh God. I hope they're okay." Lockwood basically hyperventilated. They heard someone enter the house…

"Lockwood? We're home!" Yelled Lucy and George in unison. Kipps heard then coming up the stairs. He stared at the window,

"Should I go?" He asked. Lockwood shook his head.

"No, stay here." Lockwood smiled softly. Lucy opened the bedroom door.

"Hey Lockwood-Wait what?" She did a double take.

"Why the hell is Kipps here?" She asked. Lockwood pouted.

"I was lonely, I had nobody to talk to while you two were at the hospital, so I invited Kipps." Lockwood lied.

"You invited Kipps, of all people? You confuse me sometimes. Anyway, I'm tired I'm going to head to bed. Goodnight Lockwood, Goodnight Kipps I guess?" She turned and exited the room. She was soon replaced by George who stood in the doorway smirking.

"Do I have a new gay friend?" He questioned. Lockwood and Kipps blushed.

"George!" They both groaned. George just laughed.

"I'm only joking. Goodnight you two!" George called as he exited the room.

"I should get going." Kipps said quickly pointing at the bedroom door.

"It's much too dark out-" Anthony began.

"Stay the night?" He grinned. Kipps just rolled his eyes and laid down on the bed…