Title: All to Myself
Word Count: 3,186
Summary: It started with a misunderstanding. Rated for sexual content.
Notes: Major spoilers for Chapter/Retrace 42. Set after Sharon knows of it – otherwise, no real timeline.
She was twenty-three, for goodness sakes, Sharon chided herself. She shouldn't be afraid of sleeping alone.
She sat in the middle of the bed; her feet tucked under her since she was certain something would pull her under if she got too close to the edge.
Sharon did sleep alone at home. But when staying at the Pandora mansion, Break always slept in the same room as her. A bodyguard against some of the less savory people in the organization, he claimed. Namely: the man with mismatched eyes.
She had not given it much thought all these years, but now she was aiming to be more help than hindrance to Break. This past evening, she had politely told him he could retire to his own quarters. He had paused for a moment, then accepted her decision. Since he had given no argument, she thought, she must really be a bother to him. However, he had said before she had closed her door to call on him if she needed anything.
Sharon carefully moved her feet to the side of the bed, letting them dangle for a moment before sliding off. She pulled her slippers on, considering her plan of action. If she was going to Break's room, which wasn't that far away, it was like a test of courage: go out into the hall of the Pandora Mansion, in the very middle of the night.
Though her favorite peach colored nightgown with tatted lace covered her from her neck to her toes, and loose cream bloomers that gathered around her ankles concealed her legs, she opted to place a dark cranberry red dress robe around her shoulders as well. It wouldn't do to be caught in sleeping clothes in the hallway.
Well, she thought with a grimace, it would not do to be seen at all.
She opened her door and locked it behind her. The hallway was quite dark, the little scones on the walls leaving very small pools of golden light. She gathered her bearings and started towards Break's room.
First door, second, Sharon counted silently. Third door, and then Break's room.
She placed her hand on the knob and twisted it. Locked. Of course it was locked – everyone locked their doors in Pandora.
This was stupid, Sharon decided. There was no reason to wake him. She turned, looking down the hallway again. It had doubled in length, she was sure of it.
From the other side of the door she heard a soft, "Who is it?"
"It's Sharon," she said. "There's nothing wrong –"
But he had already opened the door. He paused for a moment, and she wondered what he was listening for – perhaps another person's breath? Dare she say heartbeat? He ushered her inside and locked the door behind him.
"Did something not go as planned, my lady?"
The room was dark. Light wasn't necessary for him anymore. Sharon sought out a lamp and lit it before answering him. "The Pandora Mansion is creepy at night," she said. She turned to Break. He was in a loose white undershirt, and still wore a pair of dark trousers. His hair was tousled, almost equally over his remaining eye. He ran his hand through it out of habit. "I've, ah," she said, almost forgetting what she was going to say, "Changed my mind about sleeping alone."
"So you decided to walk the halls alone? My lady, why didn't you send Equus to fetch me?"
She flushed. That would have been a good idea. She was suddenly glad he could not see her face. "I'm trying not to rely on my chain as much as well," she said.
"As well?" He tilted his head. "You wanted to sleep alone because you think you're inconveniencing me?"
"Well, of course," Sharon said. She folded her arms, sensing he was getting the upper hand in this argument. "What did you think?"
His lips parted to respond, and he ended up smiling instead, further irritating her stretched taut nerves. She reached under her robe and realized she had left her fan in her room. "What were you going to say? Out with it."
"I had assumed my lady had plans of taking a lover to her bed," Break said, that smirk still on his face. "My presence would have been quite an inconvenience."
Sharon closed her mouth with a snap, unable to come up with any retort.
Break said, "I did not realize it would be so easy to render you speechless."
"Come here so I can hit you."
He stepped forward, almost too close. She lifted her hand, then let it drop. "I forgot my fan," she muttered, having not really planned on striking him.
"Then I will allow my lady to remember the punishment at a later date." Break went to the four poster bed. The room was decorated with the same quality as hers – after all, they were both contractors in Pandora. Similar in rank, yet nowhere near equals. He pulled off a dark green blanket folded at the bottom of the bed, and gave it a shake to let it billow out onto the floor.
Realizing what he was doing she said, "Don't. I cannot take your bed; I'll sleep on the floor."
"Nonsense, my lady."
"You are not sleeping on the floor," Sharon said. She went and stood in the middle of the blanket.
"But I always sleep on the floor in your room."
"This is your room, and I am not taking your bed," Sharon insisted.
"Feeling more stubborn than usual, Lady Sharon?" In one smooth motion, he had swept her feet out from under her and threw her onto the bed. She shrieked.
Her grumbles relating to what would have happened if he had missed the bed were muffled when the blanket from the floor was tossed onto the bed, covering her small frame.
All of her ancestors would be very disappointed with her for letting him get away with that, she thought.
The bed shifted. She pulled the blanket off of her head and saw Break had laid down on the farthest edge from her. He was stretched out on his back, an arm behind his head. Sharon felt her pulse quicken. She realized she had not given much thought to where she would be sleeping. What in the world had she been thinking – she had practically asked him to share the bed with her!
She kicked off her slippers and laid down on the opposite edge of the bed, feeling very stiff and wishing her heart would quiet down. She did not bother with the covers since she had forgotten to remove her robe. She knew all the heroines in her romance novels would be very, very disappointed in her as well for not taking full advantage of the situation.
There was no situation, she told herself. She was just his lady, a young woman forever trapped in a body that had been paused at the brink of womanhood. She was just lucky that the Rainsworth line were early bloomers, she thought.
She had not meant to sigh.
"Something amiss, Lady Sharon?" Break asked.
She liked it when he used her name, no matter the title that was linked to it. He did not use it enough.
That's because he is your servant, an unpleasant voice in her head reminded her.
She turned her head, staring up at the canopy over the bed. "I'm just surprised," Sharon said, "that you think there is someone besides you I would take to my bed."
The outspoken characters she had read about would be applauding her, but Sharon still wanted to crawl into a hole. The conservative girls would be telling her it serves her right, she thought ruefully.
Sharon didn't expect to find his face suddenly above hers. She choked back a gasp and managed out a startled, "What?"
"Would you repeat the last thing you said, my lady? I'm concerned my ears are failing me as well."
"I said you are the only servant I would trust to sleep beside me."
He was leaning across her, and had one hand above her opposite shoulder to prop himself up. The only thing she could think of was he was directly above her chest.
Break was still for a moment, then said, "I don't think you meant it that way originally."
Sharon demanded, "Then how do you think I meant it?"
Break leaned in close until they touched noses, giving her heart just enough time to leap into her throat when he pressed his lips to hers. Between her heart and his lips she was quite sure she was going to suffocate, and most romances would agree that would be considered a fine way to go.
She found being able to breath again a disappointment when he started to pull away. Sharon put a hand behind his head and pulled him to her again, and this time hesitantly moved her lips against his. His tongue trailed across her lower lip and her mouth naturally opened for him. She felt her body slowly shudder as he allowed his tongue to explore her mouth thoroughly.
Break's lips left hers a second time, and he didn't let himself be pulled back. He placed soft kisses on her eyelids which she still had closed from the kiss, and then brushed his lips against her forehead. "You make me wish I could see, Lady Sharon," he murmured.
She opened her eyes. Suddenly it was a sense she did not want to deprive herself of.
He moved his lips down to her cheek, then jaw, and neck. His tongue flickered, teasing the skin along the neckline of her nightgown.
Sharon slid the robe off of her shoulders, then reached up and started undoing the tiny pearl buttons that ran down the front of the nightgown. He paused, apparently knowing what she was doing. When she had enough buttons undone, she sat up and he helped her shift the fabric off of her shoulders. The gown pooled around her hips.
She pulled the cream cotton chemise that was underneath it over her head. She was quite sure the sleepwear was designed to keep the wearer chaste, she thought. At least she was not one to wear her corset to bed like some women did. Her upper half now bare, the night air hardened the nipples of her small breasts. Yes, she was glad the Rainsworth women were reached maturity early for their age – otherwise she might have been flat forever.
Break's fingers ran over her shoulder, then dipped across her collarbone. Sharon thought her breasts were next, but instead he moved to her other shoulder. He had his head bent, and she was unable to see his expression.
"What –" Sharon started.
"–Am I doing?" he finished for her, drawing her close. Their cheeks touched as he traced across her upper back, brushing her long hair out of the way. "I am simply committing you to memory."
She couldn't think of anything to say as he laid her back down. Her wits had been slowed and she did not think the novels warned readers of this side effect often enough.
Oh, to the abyss with the novels, she thought as he let a finger circle her right breast in a lazy spiral. When he reached her nipple, he dipped his head to it and finished the circle with his tongue. He followed suit with the left breast.
"I think I've lost control of the situation," Sharon thought, then found she had said it out loud.
His lips were now above her navel, and she felt him smile into her skin. "Is that a bad thing?" he asked.
"For a Rainsworth, yes."
"I think you have full control, Lady Sharon. You could, after all, stop me at any moment."
And at that moment, he did stop at the cloth covering her hips. Sharon drew her legs up and stood, letting the nightgown fall around her feet. She cautiously stepped out of it. She looked down at him, kneeling before her, and felt some of her confidence return. She reached for his hands and put them on her waist, and he slowly undid the buttons on the bloomers. She stepped out of the loose pants, having to wonder what her maids would think if she started sleeping in just her shift.
Break tugged her back down to the bed. His hands took her hips, and she felt her body tighten in anticipation. But he ran his hands down the length of her thighs instead.
"Disappointed?" he said softly. He looked at her, somehow able to maintain eye contact though he was unable to see her. It was a skill that he used often and the reason most people still did not know he had gone blind.
"You're terrible," she said.
He stopped at her left knee and bent it, shifting back so he could use his mouth to explore her calf. He used his teeth to remove the cream colored stocking that matched her other underclothes. "I did say I was going to commit all of you to memory," he said. His fingers caressed the arch of her bare foot.
His gaze no longer locked with hers, he stripped her other foot of its stocking. With his lips almost brushing her ankle, he asked softly, "How far?"
"Don't stop."
One nod, and he traveled up her leg: calf, knee, thigh – then he returned to her knee, making her want to scream in frustration.
But to contradict herself, she pulled her thighs together right before he pulled her knee to his hip. "I don't understand," she said, "why you are still fully clothed."
He released her leg and smiled slightly as he started undoing the buttons on his shirt. "You act like there is something to see."
"I expect more self-assurance from my partner."
He removed the shirt, exposing the incluse on his chest. "Spoken like a true lady of Rainsworth."
She did not know what he was worried about – his body was fit and strong, as it needed to be to withstand the abuse he put it through. In contrast her body felt to her soft and pampered, the childish tendencies offset by her breasts, and the dark hair at the junction of her legs that his fingers were now teasing through.
She loosened the grip on her thighs and allowed him to spread them. Sharon hooked her knee around his hip, spreading herself further. His fingers traced the outer lips of her sex, then a finger was slipped in, causing her to twist and gasp. She pulled him closer with the leg wrapped around him.
He chuckled softly at her response. Break untangled himself from her leg, and dipped his head between her thighs. In a heartbeat he had replaced the finger with his tongue. She moaned. Her hips squirmed, and he kept them firmly in place with a hand under her on her lower back. At the same time he never slowed with his tongue.
He pulled away and rested his cheek on her belly with a soft, "Hmm."
Sharon reached down and ran her fingers through his hair. "Don't stop," she repeated.
"You're awfully small."
"You're so sweet when you worry about me."
He snorted, though she did not know if it was in disagreement or laughter. He sat up, unbuttoned his trousers and proceeded to remove them.
She watched him with lowered eyelids. Sure, she might be a little apprehensive, but she was not going to let him know. She knew of serving women who had their first child at fourteen, so she felt she did not have to worry about her own body not being able to handle the intrusion of a man.
He positioned himself between her legs and hesitated. He's waiting for confirmation, she thought, and I'm not going to give it to him. Just take me.
When he entered her she jerked and arched her back with a groan, pulling him in deeper.
Sharon took his hand in hers and clenched down on it, and guided his lips back to hers. When the tension lessened she didn't have to tell him so. He started to move and rock his hips, pulling back and reentering. She moaned and was rewarded with his groans in reply.
She rode a wave of pleasure that crashed and pulsed, leaving her feeling as if Equus had stomped all over her. Yet she waited impatiently for the next one.
When it came it took Break as well.
Spent, he collapsed next to her. Sharon curled into his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. They were in the very middle of the bed. Sharon found it funny that they had started on the opposite edges.
"My maid is going to worry when she finds me missing in the morning," she said.
"She'll know to check my room first. She's not dense."
"What will she say if she finds us in bed together?"
"Nothing, of course," Break said. "We've already established her level of intelligence."
Sharon stretched and sighed. She knew she should get dressed, no matter how nice it was to lie skin to skin with him. Her maid would understand her moving into his room for the night – but she would question finding her lady nude.
She pulled the chemise over her head, and put her bloomers back on. As she tried to button them, Break slid his hands under the chemise to cup her breast. She swatted them with a laugh. "You are not helping, Xerxes."
"My apologies, Lady Sharon. My hands seem to have a mind of their own."
"You don't have to use the titles," she said.
"But you like the titles." He was behind her, his face in her hair.
Point taken, she thought. After all, she was a Rainsworth. She wriggled away from him and grabbed his clothes, tossing them onto his head. He did not relent, and her laughter rang out as she struggled into the nightgown while he kissed her neck.
Eventually they were under the covers. Sharon had left all the buttons starting at just above her breasts undone, and Break's shirt was not even buttoned. He had his arms around her, his chest pressed to her back. She held his hands in hers.
Break listened to her breathing as it slowed into sleep.
He kissed the top of her head and got out of the bed, feeling for the extra blanket. It was bunched up at the bottom of the bed. He spread it onto the floor, and did up the buttons of his shirt slowly. Before lying down, he felt the heat of the lamp she had lit earlier and blew it out.
He knew Sharon would be incensed when she found him on the floor in the morning. But their union was something no one needed to know of. If there was one thing Xerxes Break was good at, it was keeping secrets – and at the moment, he wanted to keep her all to himself.
-fin-