Title: My Yesterday
Characters: Byakuya x Hisana, Byakuya x Renji
Word Count: 540
Rating: G
Summary: Byakuya finally lets go. Spoilers for chp. 179 of the manga.
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They don't hurt anymore, my memories of you. That child was able to free me of that last painful ebb when he protected Rukia, as I could not. Now only those warm memories of being by your side remain. For just being near you made me happy, even though I knew you didn't love me as I loved you.
It has been fifty years since you left me and during that time I have let myself move on. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss you. A part of me will always belong to you, for you were my first love. Yet contrary to popular belief, my heart is not of frosty ice, but rather just like any other man's and large enough to hold love for more than one person. I had made my own personal vow to myself that when it came to seeking love once more, it would only be once I can look back on my relationship with you with no regrets. Ironically enough I believe I found that new love during the time in which my heart was in its greatest turmoil.
The realization of this newly formed affection came to a shock to me, yet it felt as if it was long over due. Maybe it was because while the physical attraction was there it never extended to anything more substantial as long as Renji has been my vice-captain. Or perhaps it was the fact that he had never been anything close to what I would I would have ever considered an ideal lover. Yet I think it's that aspect of the younger man that draws me to him.
When he stood up to me to protect Rukia from her sentence I gained a large amount of respect for him. When I learned that he had returned to save her yet again the respect grew and I developed a fondness for his dedication, his strong fighting spirit. I do not fault him for failing against Aizen and his treachery. Personally I am amazed that I was able to save Rukia in the end, for if Aizen and the other traitors remained I am certain there would not have been any narrow escapes from death. Yet we both survived and I was finally able to unload my silent burden and explain to Rukia the truth of her past.
Because of that we have been granted a second chance, which I'm honestly grateful for. Much of the past animosity between us has fallen to the wayside and a strange new kinship has grown between us, that is quickly leading us to much deeper emotions. I can't help but think it is because after all the many years we have known each other we have finally let down our masks, and shown each other a part of our true selves for the first time. And it's those versions of each other that we are attracted to.
As I feel the bonds between us growing I know I must finally do this or risk having the ghost of you hang over us. Perhaps this is long over due but this is the first time I have felt the need to tell you this. Hisana, farewell.