Of Love and Trust

Chapter 1: The Kiss

Castle walks into the loft, confusion and worry etched on his face.

Alexis looks up from her book. "What's wrong, Dad? Did you catch him? Is she okay?"

"I kissed Beckett."

"What?"

"I kissed her."

"Okay…" she says, wondering why he wasn't happier about this. "How did she feel about it?"

"I… don't know. She didn't say a word after it happened."

"Well… she didn't tell you to stop shadowing her so she probably doesn't completely hate you."

"But she will tomorrow when she comes to her senses."

"Why did you kiss her, Dad?"

"I just wanted to comfort her. Our last lead to the guy that killed her mother led to another dead end; he has escaped again. I thought I'd try to cheer her up, to show her that I wasn't going to leave her."

"I think you just made things worse, Dad."

Castle nods, sitting beside her. "If I don't come home tomorrow, don't be too alarmed. She's probably going to kill me when I show up at the precinct tomorrow."

"Dad… she wouldn't be that cruel."

"Oh yes, she would be. And she could get away with it too. They'd all help her hide my body."

"So let me get this straight? You kissed her and then you left her alone to deal with that on top of the fact that her mother's killer got away from her again?"

"We got the guy who killed her mother last year; this is the guy who hired him to kill her," he tries to clarify.

"Either way, Dad, she's still got a lot to deal with right now. I'm sure you kissing her didn't help things at all."

"I know. It was stupid of me."

"So you should go see her. Talk to her. Help her deal with things. Just don't kiss her again unless you're sure she wants you to."

"No, I should give her space. Besides, I don't want to leave you here alone."

"Gram will be back soon. And I can put myself to bed, Dad. I'm seventeen."

"Are you sure this won't make her hate me even more? Or give her an opportunity to kill me?"

"No, I don't know. But it can't hurt anything to try, can it?" she kisses his cheek. "See you tomorrow."

"Hopefully," he mumbles to himself, heading to the door as his daughter goes upstairs.

CB

Castle knocks softly on her door, hoping not to wake her up if she had been sleeping. It isn't long before the door opens. "Hey," he says softly.

She doesn't look at him, "What, Castle?"

"How are you holding up?" he steps into her apartment without being invited, clearly telling her that he isn't going to be leaving any time soon.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." She looks up at him, angry at him for challenging her. "That guy kidnapped Ryan and Esposito; there's no doubt in my mind that he could come for you next. You came to answer the door without your gun, Kate; that's not like you."

"I'm just a little… distracted at the moment. Besides, I doubt anyone wanting to kill me would actually knock on the door."

"I'm sorry, Kate," Rick reaches out to take her hand. "I shouldn't have kissed you earlier. Gina and I just broke up last week, and you're still with the doctor. There was no reason for me to think it would be acceptable. But I wanted you to know that I'm here for you whenever you need me."

"Thanks, Castle. Would you mind… staying? At least for a little bit? I can't stop thinking about everything that's happened, and I'm sure there's no way I'll be sleeping tonight."

"Do you have to go in tomorrow?"

She shakes her head, "Montgomery said he'd fired me if I came in."

"I want to stay here, Kate, but what about your boyfriend? I don't want to complicate things with him."

"He's working all night. And… I don't really care what he thinks." He looks at her questioningly so she continues. "We probably won't be together much longer."

"He's not hurting you or anything, is he?"

"No. I'm just not as happy with him as I was," she says, neglecting to mention that the one who makes her happy is right in front of her. "And we don't see each other that much between his schedule and mine."

"Oh… I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I'm just not very good at relationships."

"You just haven't found the right person yet."

"Maybe…"

"Why don't you go sit down and I'll get us something to drink?" he offers, letting go of her hand. She follows him to the kitchen and jumps onto the counter to watch him. "You know, when I said sit down, I meant on the couch."

"Yeah, well I can't have you snooping around my apartment."

"Is there something in the kitchen you don't want me to find?" he looks around curiously.

Kate gives him a small smile and rolls her eyes. "I'm glad you're here, Castle," she says softly as he fixes hot chocolate.

"So am I." He hesitates before continuing, "You know, I was kind of afraid to come over here. I thought you'd kill me after what I did."

"No… torture you, maybe. But I wouldn't kill you."

"That's reassuring," he grimaces as he hands her a mug. "Maybe I should leave before you can do anything."

"No, you apologized. And to be honest… what you did was sweet. It just was a little overwhelming after everything that had happened."

"So you're not going to ask me to quit following you?"

"Of course not. You can be annoying at times, but I'm thankful that I have you there to keep me from going crazy."

"Are you sure about that? I think I might be making you crazier."

She hits his arm. "Why did you come over? I mean, if you were so afraid of what I'd do to you?"

"I talked to Alexis. She told me to go, that she could take care of herself. I didn't want you to be alone."

"I knew there was a reason I liked you…"

"See? I knew you'd give in eventually. Everyone likes me."

"Or you're just too arrogant to realize that some people don't," she slides off the counter to stand next to him.

He studies her, and she frowns at him, disapproving of whatever he is thinking. "For your information, Detective, I was just wondering when you got so short."

"I don't normally wear my shoes in my apartment."

His eyes trail down her body to find her bare feet. "You should put some socks on."

"My feet are perfectly fine, Castle."

"Until you get sick."

Ignoring him, she goes to sit on the couch. He follows her, of course, leaving little space between them as he sits down. They sit silently, both lost in their thoughts.

"We're going to find him, Kate," he whispers after watching her for a few minutes.

"I don't know, Castle. I'm starting to believe that it won't happen."

"You're going to get him. You're not going to let her down."

"I already have. It's taken eleven years for me to even find him."

"That's not your fault. If the detectives originally on the case would have done their job, he would have been caught a long time ago. You would have had him sooner if it hadn't been for me; you could've gotten Coonan to give him up. But instead you chose to save me."

"I would choose to save you every time, Rick. I need you by my side."

He smiles, "I'm not going anywhere."

She leans in and kisses his cheek, "Thank you. I'm sure this isn't exactly what you were expecting when you started to follow me around."

"Not at all. It's a lot better. At first you were just going to be another woman I got in bed. But now… I gained a great friend. I'm really glad you're so stubborn, Kate, because this is a lot better than just one night together ever would have been."

"If I thought I could give you that one night, Castle, I would. But I don't think we could ever have just one night and go back to normal."

"Why would you do that?"

"To thank you. You've been so patient and understanding throughout this whole case. Most guys would've left."

He takes both of their mugs and sets them on the table, "You don't have to thank me. And especially not like that. I don't want that unless you do. And definitely not just once."

"Castle, you've done so much for me. There has to be something I can do for you."

"Nope. You've done enough. Thanks to you, I have a new best-selling character," he puts his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.

"You sure I can't do anything?"

"Well… I like you, Kate. A lot. And if you feel the same way, I would like you to give me a chance. I know that we really shouldn't work together because we're so different. But… I want to give it a try. If you do."

Kate pulls back slightly to look into his eyes, "Castle… I like you too. A lot. And I want to give us a try, I really do. But I can't do it yet. Josh and I are still together and… you're a big risk. After everything with this case, I don't know if I want to take a risk that big right now. Please… just give me a few months to get everything straightened out in my head."

He smiles, "For you, I think I can wait a few more months."

"Thanks."

"I should probably head home then and let you get some rest," his arms start to pull away from her.

"No," she grabs his wrists. "Please stay tonight. Just… I need someone here. I need you here."

"Okay," he kisses her forehead, settling back down and letting her curl up beside him.

She rests her head on his shoulder, "You're not going to sneak away if I fall asleep?"

"Nope. You're stuck with me."

"Good."

"But if we're going to sleep here, maybe we should lay down."

"Go ahead," she closes her eyes.

Rick carefully adjusts them so that they are lying down, him on his back and her at his side. "Good night, Kate."

"Night, Castle."

He kisses the top of her head and rubs her back soothingly until she is asleep before he allows himself to join her in unconsciousness.

A/N: I know, another story about what we all can't wait for. Seriously... two weeks. And the had to show the promo last night to get us even more excited. Anyway, this will have four more chapters; three of them are written, the last I hope to get done between classes today. I have midterms this week and really should be studying but... fanfiction is more exciting. I'm going to try to post every three days so that the whole thing is up before that wonderful episode airs. Now that she's said yes, it will happen, I decided to give you a few more scenes until it does happen. So the chapters are connected, but they don't necessarily come immediately after one another; there's maybe supposed to be a few days or a week between them. Thanks for reading. Please tell me what you thought.