Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers....obviously.
Warnings: Mentions of child abuse if you look carefully.
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Sideswipe couldn't sleep. Not with all the tossing and turning his brother was doing on the berth next to him. It wasn't so much the noise that kept him awake, but the fact his twin was having a nightmare. Again.
It's happened before, but every time 'Sunny' would wake he would turn over and deny everything. No matter how many times he would try to help Sunstreaker, he would be ignored or yelled at. And deep down it hurt, cause all he wanted to do was help one of the only 'Bots' he's ever truly loved.
Waking with a sudden gasp Sunstreaker immediately tried to slow down his fuel pipes. It was that dream, the same one he's been having for months now.
I dreamed I was missing,
you were so scared
But no one would listen,
'cause no one else cared.
Turning to look toward his brother's berth guilt began to settle in his CPU. He had woken his brother up, how many times was this going to continue? Staring into his twin's worried optics Sunstreaker tried to ignore the urge to grab the stupid red idiot and just hold him, like they used to do when they were youngling's. Instead he turned over and continued staring at the gray metallic wall that made up part of the room they shared.
"Sunny, please..."
He knew what his brother wanted to hear, but he couldn't tell him. He couldn't sound as weak and vulnerable as he felt. He was the strong twin, the one who needed no help.
After my dreaming,
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
when I'm done here?
No matter how much he tried to calm himself it never worked. That dream was just to...true. No one would really care about the yellow Autobot who was one bad wire short of a Decepticon. The only thing they would miss was his fighting capability. And no matter how much he tried to say it didn't bother him and that he only needed himself the truth was, deep down, he was lying. It hurt when people said those things about him and worst of all he knew it hurt his twin to hear them.
I'm strong on the surface,
not all the way through
I've never been perfect,
but neither have you
Thinking about his brother he wondered how this might be affecting him. Sideswipe was always more emotional then himself and he knows shutting his brother out all the time must be painful to him. Perhaps he should tell his twin about his dream if only for the red mech's sanity. Turning back around Sunstreaker is once again greeted with the familiar blue optics of his brother, and looking into the tired and worried orbs 'Sunny' knew he was making the right decision, his brother had suffered enough because of him.
Sending some warmth through the bond they shared Sunstreaker slid to the edge of his berth to allow his twin some room to lie next to him. And as quickly as the room was made it was filled with the eager red mech's body. Wrapping their arms around each other Sunstreaker told his brother what he so desperately wanted to hear.
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
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Two hours had passed since he told his twin about his dream and still Sunstreaker couldn't sleep. Pulling his slumbering brother closer to himself he thought over the conversation they had, how 'Sides' had told him to just let some of the other mech's in, to open up a little more around his comrades and make some friends and hopefully the dream will go away. Sideswipe made it sound so easy, but he had always been the one who took the pain from every hit and the brunt of every insult while trying to shield his twin's audio's.
Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
It wasn't easy to trust someone when you've experienced the evil that hides in every mech. And as much as he hated to admit it, this might be a problem his twin can not help him solve.
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
Because no matter how much he tries the invisible walls he built around himself as a child just won't fall down. The walls he built up to protect himself were now the walls that were destroying him slowly. And even though he loves Sideswipe more then any other, he can not be him.
I can't be who you are
And the anger he posses now won't go away nor will the wrong doings of his past, so all he can hope for is that when his time comes to go to the well of All-Sparks his comrades will try to remember some of the good things he had done and the Autobot cause that he helped to protect.
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
"Please, leave out all the rest."
Author's Note: I know I stink at writing but I try. I heard this song and it just reminded me of Sunstreaker I have no idea why though. XP.