A/N: Do I own bleach? *-Checks laundry room-* Nope, I do not! Oh wait, you mean the anime Bleach? Nope, don't own that either.
They say the way to Wonderland is down, down-down-down a rabbit hole, but they're all wrong. They say that time goes backwards as you fall, and all the lost things float around you in that pitch-black paradox that's bright with candlelight; and when you hit the ground, there's no where else to go but forward. You can't stay put, or you'll rot. You can't go backwards or the beasts will get you.
Hmm. So maybe they got that part right, but let me clarify some things for you.
Wonderland isn't Wonderland-it's Hell.
Because the way into Wonderland isn't down, it's up, and you never fall because you can't fall to the sky. Maybe the passage there can be called a rabbit hole, but only if the hole is owned by freaks with raging appetites and skin that ooze a purple-hued slime. And the lost things are there, for certain, but they aren't anything anyone will ever be coming to collect; the owners of these items are long gone, and all their pieces line the hole. There is no light because light is a sign of doom in this place, and the only sound is that of your breathing-a sound that is made all the harsher by the knowledge that you are the only living thing in this place.
Then you reach the end of the Hole, and pray to go back the way you came.
They say that Wonderland is the place where dreams come to be seen, where children fill the lands with their bright imaginations and glittering laughter, but they couldn't have uttered a bigger lie. They've never seen Wonderland and all her depraved, hopeless violence, the anger and senseless bloodshed that stains the world a crimson hue. I grew up in Wonderland, you see, and I can tell you now that it's nothing like the stories.
Nothing grows in Wonderland but distrust and sin, and the people there are filled with both. Even in the Red Kings court at the center, nothing is ever such inane and impossible things as good and light and pleasant. Oh yes, there is such a person as the Red King, the King of Hearts, and he rules Wonderland with his thirteen battalions of card soldiers standing ready to defend his little slice of anguish and blood-soaked torture. And for a while, I was only little Alice, lost and alone and confused in this world gone mad.
But then, I found my Cheshire Cat.
Mmm. That name fits you in so many ways; I almost wonder if the author knew you when she wrote her happy tale.
Yes, you were my Cheshire Cat-ever cheerful and smiling, but speaking in such twisting riddles and tongues that I almost wanted to rip yours out of your crescent moon mouth. You would disappear without a trace for days-weeks, months, YEARS-only to show up on my doorstep with that same toothy smirk as though only hours had passed. I would try so hard to hate you, to fight and rage and for once just stay mad at you, but then you would sweeten your words and your grin would soften as you pulled me close.
"I'm sorry." You would whisper into my ear, my hair, my lips as you held me tight to you, "I love you Alice. You know I would never leave…" And I would forgive you as your sweet nothings soothed my rampaging anger and I melted into your firm, ever-gentle embrace.
But you're the Cheshire Cat, and you never stay in one place for too long; you would disappear again eventually, and I would rage and weep and beg for you to return, all the while knowing that I would just forgive you again when you did. Then one day, you never came back.
You disappeared from my life, for what I thought-hoped, wished-was the last time. I was lost in this twisting, turning, tormenting Wonderland without your chaotic wit and haunting grin. I soon found a new cat however; one who wouldn't-couldn't-leave me, because she was a part of me. And she raged and roared and burned with me at your loss, until the day she hissed at me to stand on my own two feet without you. An Alice doesn't need a Cheshire Cat, after all.
Except I did, even though I never realized it until the day I saw you in the Red Kings pure court, with the same psychotic grin and twisting melody of spider-web riddles you use to spin for me.
For a while things were the norm for us; you would leave and I would rampage; you returned and I forgave you. But you grew distant as the Mad Hatter spun his wild tales. You became lost in a torrent of hidden lies and sugar coated deceit, just as everyone else did. And as you grew more distant, I learned to finally-finally, finally, FINALLY-leave you behind.
Then came the other man-or maybe boy would have been a better term at the time-and he led me to a new place, a place that wasn't tainted by your chaotic lyrics and twisted lips. I guess it's true-you can't have a Wonderland without a White Rabbit to show Alice the way.
I learned to love my savior, just as I learned to both love and hate you. Sure, he was angry and young and frigid at times, but then again so was I. We were opposites, the white and black, fire and ice of the tenth legion of loyal card soldiers. And for once in my life, things were perfect without my grinning shadow.
I should have known this peace wouldn't last.
I guess that in the end, the Mad Hatter had the last laugh. His ten-headed Jabberwocky may be dead, his blindly loyal dormouse sent plummeting to the ground on a broken tea-tray, but he won. Our Knave of Spades lies wounded, all the color drained from his being, and we all know that no number of us card soldiers will ever be able to paint him back the way he was. The Two is a shadow of her former self, the Seven burdened by the death of his friend. Eleven and Six were lost in the Forest, surrounded on all sides while Twelve cackled on, a Mad Hatter in his own rights. Four would have her work cut out for her as she tried to put our crumbled kingdom back together, piecing together what cards she could.
Ten, my precious White Rabbit, was dead inside, with his turquoise eyes glazed by the shadow of his best friends' death.
And you…Will you never stay with me? Will you ever give up your drifting habits and disappearing tricks? I suppose those are questions I will never know the answer to. Because you've finally pulled the ultimate vanishing act, and your glittering grin has been dulled for the final time.
Mmm…Perhaps I should have reread that story before this whole cataclysmic event. Whatever the case may be, the title of Cheshire fits you even better than before.
The Cheshire Cat, the villain who played for the heroes; the lighthearted jester with a shadowed soul and the criminal who wants to be good but only brings darkness and destruction wherever he goes.
You were both good and bad, love and hate; we were perfect together, and yet totally incompatible. We could have been wonderful together, but the time for could have's is over.
Welcome to Wonderland, where Heaven and Hell coexist and demons dance with the angels. Where the Cheshire Cat no longer smiles and Alice and her White Rabbit live broken with the past hanging heavy over their heads. Here the Red King rules with his entourage of shattered card soldiers, and the Mad Hatter laughs his shrieking cackle from his hidden prison in the shadows.
Welcome to Wonderland, where tragedy and loss has made me who I am, and where the Lost Ones come to find themselves.
Welcome to Wonderland, which is both my home and my hell.
Welcome, to our Execution.
A/N: Believe me when I tell you that that last line is in no way connected to the members of Xcution.
This is actually my first attempt at writing a somewhat-serious Bleach fanfic that isn't a drabble, though it is definitely NOT the first time I have dabbled in the complicated and absolutely DELICIOUSLY twisted relationship that exists between Rangiku and Gin.
Oh, I forgot to put the second disclaimer in the beginning, but I do not own Alice in Wonderland either.
Anyways, I was bored, so this was born. I have no idea where it came from…Blame my muse…
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Review please!