Another songfic from me. Oh joy. This one's about a character I've never used before. So tell me what you think, please, really, cause this is my first time using her! (Song is "Happy" by Saving Jane)
Filling up my empty days with red wine
Wonder what you think of me?
Luna knew jealousy wasn't fitting on her. She had never been one to be jealous. Always stuck to the truth, Luna did. She just sat by in her subconscious misery and watched everyone else go on in their lives, noting the unusual or extraordinary to keep herself busy. She knew if she didn't, she'd have some serious issues with herself and her self-confidence.
But jealousy was all over her like house elves on a dirty dish.
Lying in the grass alone and wasted
Nothing's how it used to be
She'd been friends with him. That was all. They'd only really been friends for one year too. Ginny had been the one who'd really been her friend. She'd told Ginny about her crush on a certain someone, but maybe Ginny didn't catch on. Luna hadn't been specific about it, and Ginny pretty much dismissed it after she couldn't guess it and Luna wouldn't tell.
And then Ginny went right off with the guy Luna had a crush on.
I wanna be the first to call and tell you
Yesterday I heard the news
Of course, Luna could never blame Ginny – she'd never told her friend she'd liked Harry in the first place. In fact, she'd made it seem like she liked Ron…but that was all due to Luna's sharp skills at making things seem what they were not. Or rather, as she'd like to think, confusing people.
But after meeting Harry on the Hogwarts Express that day, Luna's oh-so-common slips into a dreamlike state were usually daydreams concerning Harry. And some even with her and Harry.
But even then, Luna had not been jealous. In her fifth year, when Ginny became Harry's girlfriend, Luna had not been jealous. Even maybe a bit happy for her friend – because in her blunt reality, she knew she and Harry could never be. And even in their sixth year, the year Harry graduated and Ginny had to say a tearful goodbye after the notorious couple had gotten back together again – Luna had no sinister thoughts. She was not glad that Ginny and Harry had to part, or jealous that they were still a strong going couple. Back then, she could even truthfully say she was glad they made it.
I hear you ought to be congratulated
So I guess that's what I'll do
But upon hearing of their engagement only two years after her graduation, Luna was feeling a pang of jealousy. Pangs of jealousy, actually. Great pangs of jealousy.
She felt betrayed by Ginny – she'd expected Ginny to be able to see right through her. And she was disappointed Harry couldn't read her feelings either. Luna Lovegood was no longer the sweet yet crazy dreamer. She'd become something she wasn't – something she wasn't supposed to be. A jealous, bitter girl who dreamt dreams of things she couldn't have.
She was beginning to lust for Harry. And because of it, she was beginning to enter a depressed state.
I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
She'd never had many friends, and the very few that she'd thought actually cared about her she was now realizing never had.
If they did, they wouldn't have gone and gotten engaged.
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.
She'd cry about her failing social life – living alone in a two-bedroom apartment. And as beautiful as she was, there wasn't a man she could find that was interested in her. And she had pity friends. Her blatant attitude had turned many away from her, and now it was eating her up too.
Maybe that's why Harry doesn't like me. He doesn't like me, you know? He thinks I'm weird. Just like everybody else. Nobody likes me. Nobody cares. I almost had friends…almost. And now it's all useless. Ginny hardly speaks to me anyways, and I spend most of my day dreaming about her fiancé.
Listen to the sound of my head pounding
Wish that it was make-believe
Praying for the skies to open up and
Wash away your memory
But Luna wondered why she couldn't simply forget about Harry as easily as he'd forgotten about her. It couldn't be that hard. She'd just have to stop thinking about him. She'd have to stop thinking about the days when Hogwarts seemed to be a nice place to be at, the days when she had people to talk to, when they stood up together against Umbridge and all the unfairness…those days that seemed so long ago.
And even when she hadn't gotten along that well with Hermione, she'd always had fun having a go with her because they both firmly believed in what they thought. It was nice to see someone stick up for their opinion, even if Hermione thought Luna was hopeless. And then Ron's insults hadn't bothered her – she'd been pretty happy that year anyway, and it was nice that someone decided to say things to her face instead of behind her back. She respected him for that. She'd respected all of them.
And now her respect was gone beneath depths of jealousy.
I can walk around with a pretty face on
Even when I'm black and blue
What's the point in telling everybody
I'm not over you?
But Luna had no one to talk to. She couldn't just go up to Ginny or Harry and tell them what she thought. She couldn't say she liked him and expect him to give everything up based on her feelings. She didn't even expect him to apologize. So why would she tell him? To get laughed at by everyone? She wouldn't of cared normally, but this was an emotional feeling…they had to be handled delicately. Especially ones like this.
Everyone would say, "Ooh, look at that Loony girl! She's so crazy! What did she think he'd say? Harry Potter like Loony Lovegood? Ha! Not until pigs fly! She's got some crazy ideas that girl…" And they'd be right too. What guy would ever like me?
I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.
She'd even tried getting Harry off her mind in her fifth year by trying to go after Neville. He'd seemed just like her – lonely. But she seemed to scare him, and later on she found out he too was crushing a bit on Ginny.
Oh yeah, every boy loved her. Can't even remember how many boyfriends she's had. Always the life of the party, she was. But I'd never know, cause I was never invited to those parties. I was the outcast. The exact opposite of her…
Cry about the love we used to have
Cry that I won't ever get you back
In her own delusions, Luna even thought there were times when she'd felt sparks between her and Harry. But she soon realized she just felt his pity.
I remember that night when I almost missed the feast to look for my things. I told him they always turn up – they always did. I felt it then. He felt sad for me. Sympathy? No. He just felt sad for me. Maybe he didn't look down upon me, but he sure didn't have any feelings for me. In fact, he made it quite clear that night when he invited me to Slughorn's party in my fifth year…Ginny was taken that night, wasn't she?
Filling up my empty days with red wine
Wonder what you think of me?
I may act unusual, but I'm not crazy. I may act like a dreamer, but I know reality. I may act ditsy, but I'm smart. I'm a Ravenclaw…I know who I am. And if no one can accept me for that, then pfft to them.
Pfft.
I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I'm so happy for you
So, so happy for you
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.
Friends – it'd be nice to have them, but I guess they aren't totally necessary. I mean, I've gotten this far without them, right? And I'm only so depressed.
Pfft.