All you can think of are those sick, sardonic comments you dropped his way every spare moment you could. The way you always embarassed him in front of his friends, his girlfriend. Always told him he was a pussy for not getting any yet. He'd probably die a virgin, you remember saying- or something to that effect. You were drunk (surprise) and now it's kind of a blur.
And then you get the message that your fucking brother killed the bus full of kids and then he killed himself, after trying to kill Veronica Mars.
Then you stop drinking, which is weird. You thought you'd drink more.
No one really shows up to the memorial. Who wants to show up to the memorial of the teenager who was responsible for other deaths?
"Christ, Beav."
You stop.
He hated being called Beaver. But you did it anyway because you found it funny. Was it really so funny to him when he was jumping off the building? No, probably not. But he'll never be Cassidy to you either so you just try not to think about him which sucks because he is all that you can think about. How can he be dead? It doesn't make sense. And how could he pull off that bus thing? Why? Stories are circulating but it's not like you've had the energy to listen.
Your little brother killed himself.
Beaver - Cassidy - is gone. Just... stopped existing. Stopped living. He didn't even graduate.
You throw up like it's the day after Homecoming.
You're not real complicated, are you
Dick? I try not to be.
Well, surprise again.
Things just got complicated.