A/N : Takes place in New Moon, about 9 months after the Cullens left. They have not returned yet, and Bella is at a Graduation pool party at Mike Newton's house.

UPDATE 5-1-13: For some reason the whole first part of this story was never even uploaded, and I never even realized it! so here is the repost!

Stephanie Meyer owns all. Rated M for mature readers and content.

Bella POV :

4 weeks to Graduation

I stood in my room, anxiously waiting for Angela to pick me up for tonight's party at Mike's. My stomach was fluttering with a touch of nerves, but I pushed my fear down and forced myself to relax. I looked at my appearance one more time in my mirror, turning sideways to study my reflection from all angles. My red blouse was definitely flattering, and the bikini top I wore underneath gave me pretty decent cleavage. And I liked the way my denim shorts made my legs and butt look really good.

Satisfied with my appearance, I walked downstairs to wait for my friend's arrival.

Tonight, I would be going to my first high-school party. I had never attended these kinds of things in Phoenix, and my first year in Forks was spent either with Edward, or as a dysfunctional zombie. So there had not been many opportunities for me to get out and act like the irresponsible teenager that my mother and father kept trying to tell me was sometimes healthy to be.

After enough prodding from them, and my slow-but-steady improvement from 'Post-Edward Shock Trauma' (PEST, as Angela liked to call it), I felt like I was ready to go out and party.

Tonight, Miss middle-aged Bella was going to take a back-seat to the impulse-driven young girl that I had been repressing for my entire life.

My mental and physical health had improved greatly over the past six weeks, after hitting a low point during Spring Break. I felt like I was finally moving on, and PEST was now firmly in my rear-view mirror.

Looking back, I recognized that the defining moment of my 'rehabilitation' came just in-time. There I stood, at the top of the cliffs at La Push, ready to jump into the churning surf just to feed my delusions of the disembodied voice of Edward asking me to be safe and scolding me when I did something reckless. So, to further fuel that inane fantasy that he actually cared for my well-being, I had somehow foolishly decided that a leisurely dive off of a one-hundred foot cliff - in the middle of a hurricane, no less - was the recipe to satisfy my craving for an Edward-fix.

Luckily for me - and for my family and friends, I imagine - I had come to my senses before I had made the fateful plunge; and I walked back to my truck, and returned home to a worried Jacob and my devastated Father, who had just come back from dropping Harry Clearwater's body at the morgue.

I had an epiphany then; I realized that the only thing my adrenaline seeking behavior would accomplish is getting me killed and making my parents and Jacob suffer.

That was the last time I had done anything purposefully reckless.

I slowly re-integrated myself back with my social circle, renewing friendships that had gone stale and forging new ones where I could. College applications became my focus, and suddenly I was looking forward to the future with hope.

Jacob had been thrilled, of course, at my rapid recovery, and began to put more pressure on me to begin a relationship with him. But unfortunately for him, as the ever-present hole in my chest got smaller and smaller, and eventually sealing itself up for good, my absolute need for Jacob's presence diminished. I still enjoyed his company immensely, and he was without a doubt my best-friend; but the last thing I needed at that point was to dive head-first into another heavy romance, especially as I now knew that I would be leaving Forks for good once I graduated.

I missed the sun, and warmth, and the feel of heat on my face. And I knew that Jacob would be in Forks for the duration, and that any future with him would handcuff me to this dreary town where the only dependable thing were clouds and rain.

I tried explaining this to him, telling him I wanted to re-invigorate my life; and that love and commitment were things I wanted to put on the back-burners for a while.

Needless to say, he wasn't thrilled with me, and acted like a jilted boyfriend. It was during this time that he showed his age - that of a sixteen year old boy - and we had begun to drift apart. I had not spent much time with him lately, and he was being spiteful and would not return my calls. I regretted this, but I had to move forward, on my own terms.

So here I was, ready for my first party.

I was thrilled.

Angela arrived right on time at eight-thirty, and we chatted on the way to Mike's house. She told me his parent's were out of town at a big sporting goods convention, and he had the house to himself. Luckily, the weather had been very warm in Forks, and he decided to turn the event into a pool party.

As we pulled-up and parked at the curb, I was a little nervous at the number of kids that were streaming into Mike's house. I had never been to the Newton's before, and was surprised at the size of their home. It was a large, 70's style deco design, with wood shingles and brick. A large, fenced-in yard with close-cropped grass gave them a fair amount of privacy from their neighbors.

When we walked in via the front door, Mike was there to greet us.

"Bella! You came!" Mike's smile was wide, and his eyes sparkled at me. It was hard to not feel gratified by his attention, and I smiled at him in return, which only made his grin even wider.

Angela coughed from my side, and he turned to her in surprise. "Angela! Sorry! I didn't see you at first! Come in, come in!" Angela just laughed, and we walked through the entryway and through the house to the patio, where everyone was hanging-out.

There were maybe two-dozen people there already, and I recognized most of them from school. There were a few eyebrows raised in my direction, which didn't surprise me - I was definitely not a regular on the party scene. But I held my head-up, meeting their questioning glances with a smile, as I tried not to blush.

I made my way over to the drinks table, and Ben came over to join us.

"Bella, what are you having?" Ben asked, gesturing towards the table filled with bottles and mixers.

"Umm, I'm not sure?" I replied, uncertain to what I wanted to drink.

Angela smiled at me kindly. "Ben, Bella and I will have Vodka Cranberries. Right Bella?" she asked, winking at me.

Thankful for her advice - I didn't know much about mixed-drinks, after all - I nodded my head and was soon handed a reddish-colored drink in a tall cup, overflowing with ice. I took a careful sip, and was surprised by how good it tasted. It was cool and fruity, and I soon finished it and asked Ben to make me another.

I spent the next half hour chatting with my friends, feeling warmed by the alcohol and relaxed by the music. We eventually made our way over to the pool, and I watched as Jessica peeled off her top, her large breasts barely held in by a very skimpy blue bikini. Angela followed shortly after, and I felt several sets of eyes on me from Mike, Tyler, and a few other boys.

As the splashes of my friends jumping into the water sounded in the background, I decided I had to be brave. So I took a deep breath, and pulled my top off and shimmied out of my denim shorts.

A/N - Chapter 2 picks up where the messed-up first post started.