A/N: Hello, this is my first attempt at a Sherlock fanfiction, i've been meaning to get this baby out, and this was fuelled more with my sudden re-watching of all the Sherlock episodes. Anyway, so i hope you don't hate my sort of A/U take on Mary Morstan. Because i don't think we can deny, that there are a lot of Johnlock-feel moments in Sherlock, so to appease my Johnlock Brotp and my Sherlolly feels, not to mention my more fucked up ships, this is my fic.
Oh and disclaimer, i own nothing. One day, i will dominate Benedict Cumberbatch's perfect face... in my dreams... never.
243 Shades of Lipstick- Chapter 1
Sexy Aston Martins
Mary Morstan smirked. Perhaps it was easy to get under Sherlock Holmes. She continued walking at a brisk pace through the halls of Scotland Yard, it was rather tedious, she could tell at a glimpse who was sleeping with who. It was rather liked a fucked up version of some police-drama. Except in real life and the characters were far more boring. The desk she was walking up to right now, a man called 'Anderson', he would be easy enough to convince, taking off her dark blue scarf, she acted rather bashful, the pretty little thing that walked into his office.
"Hello Mr…"
"Anderson" the idiot replied
"I am so sorry, but is Detective Inspector Lestrade here, I was hoping to ask him something…" She grinned in a shy way she knew would catch his eye, her hand moving strategically to her neck, where it would be exposed, she rubbed it in a shy way. But she could tell he was falling for it, the shade of lipstick she had chosen worked marvellously. Another second or two, tops and he would escort her to the nest of vipers.
"No Problem at all, Miss…"
"Miss Morstan, a pleasure to meet you Mr Anderson"
"Let me escort you" The idiot actually stood up, thinking himself rather attractive. She was just stopping herself from retching. He lead her through several corridors, up an escalator to Detective Inspector Lestrade's office. That was until they ran into a woman, who was obviously jealous, sleeping with Anderson, judging by the sudden smoothing-down of wrinkles at the mid-section of her dress.
"'Oo is she?" The woman asked. She was asking in a nice manner enough, but not enough to conceal her jealousy. The sudden sweating of her palms betrayed her,
"She's looking for Lestrade" Anderson replied. He was trying to bridge the gap and stop world war three happening between this Donovan, yes Donovan was her name. Sally, how boring. Between this Sally and herself.
"Well then, he's talking to freak's 'husband'" She replied with some spite, before walking off. Anderson politely announced her and closed the door behind her. This detective inspector, he was a father, left his wife, fondness for coffee and donuts, one could imagine. He was a silver fox though, she had to admit it.
"Good Morning Detective Inspector, Dr Watson" Mary knew the man well enough, she took to reading his blog. Only way she could find out what was happening to her cousin. Yes, her cousin was Sherlock Holmes. Normal people assumed they were siblings, with their physical similarities and what not.
"Ah, Miss Morstan" The inspector rose and shook her hand
"Please, it's Mary" she took his hand gladly
"Pleasure to meet you too" Dr John Watson also took her hand, but he seemed vaguely troubled when he took her hand. She knew why of course, but she left it alone… for now.
"Miss Morstan" Lestrade began
"Mary" she corrected. She knew she was reeling him in for the bait
"Mary, what were you about to ask?"
"Well, I know, that you know my cousin, Sherlock Holmes very well" Lestrade choked on his coffee and John looked stunned
"Oh, it isn't that hard to figure out, the physical similarities. Fondness of dark purple and we both wanted to be pirates when we grew up" She began in her annoyed manner "I thought you would at least manage sister" She didn't understand. It must be so boring in normal people's minds. She was of course in her long, black belstaff, her dark purple dress and her blue scarf. The eyes, their eyes were the same and the black curls, like that was not obvious. Then the long slim build, the vampire-like pale skin and the deductions, surely no-one was that thick.
"I'm sorry, he wanted to be a pirate?" Lestrade spluttered
"Then it was to be a Time Lord" Mary added.
"Anyway, continue" John ushered
"I was wondering if you knew his current whereabouts, and please, do hurry up. I've got a rather sexy Aston Martin parked on the meter" Mary begged. Not begged, more like buttering the plea with chocolate.
"An Aston Martin? How has Sherlock not talked about you?" John asked seriously
"Well first of all, last time we met, I think that was the time I beat him up." Mary admitted. But she was interrupted from further thought, as someone burst into Lestrade's office rather excitedly.
"Sir, there's a bloody Aston Martin parked outside. 5 seater, sun roof, silver, v8 engine and tailored leather seats" The man spluttered in excitement.
"Well, if you can't help me, I'll just go back down and-"
"He's a St Bart's. I was just about to go there" John said quickly
"Well, ever wanted to sit at the front seat of an Aston Martin?" Mary began sweetly
"Bloody hell, yes" John replied
"Well then, thank you Inspector." Mary grinned, before exiting the room.
"So you're actually his cousin?" Watson asked her
"Yes, yes I am." Mary replied.
"He never mentions you"
"Like I explained earlier, last time I saw him, I bashed him up."
"Why?"
"Is it of much importance? Honestly, what it must be like in your normal brains, it must be so boring" Mary continued driving, smirking as John stroked the leather seats
"Why are you looking for Sherlock anyway?" He asked
"I assume he hasn't told you yet?" Mary asked, hardly not surprised.
"He hasn't told me what?"
"My apartment is being renovated, seeing as it's school holidays, I can't stay at the school, so Sherly offered to let me stay in your spare room for the duration of the school holidays, by then, my flat will be done and you won't have to put up with my presence"
"How has he not told me you're coming?" John said exasperated.
"Has he got a girlfriend, boyfriend, Time Lord?" Mary asked
"Girlfriend." John grinned, Mary smirked.
"Does he actually get her chocolates and flowers?" Mary giggled
"Nope."
"Oh… that changes everything. God help the poor girl. When Sherlock was six, he said if he ever fancied someone, he's make Mycroft buy all the chocolates and the flowers in the world, then give them to her" Mary said, still giggling.
"Really? It's just, you remind me of someone…"
"You once dated, I could tell." Mary said. She had dated him, right under Sherlock's nose in fact. But then again, dyeing her hair ginger does marvels. "You're an army doctor." She stated
"And what do you do?"
"I'm a science teacher, at Eton, used to teach at Harrow. I've got all these horrible brats. Sons of politicians, celebrities, influential people, what not. And their fathers are the worst. Most of them are divorced and looking for some arm decoration"
"Well that's when being a soldier comes in handy. Tell the birds at the pub you're being shot at, by the next morning, you find yourself in someone's bedroom with three naked women beside you." John winked. Mary's inner voice growled. Now would be the appropriate time to change the shade of her lipstick. By the time they had finally arrived at St Bart's, Mary pulled out a slightly lighter shade of lipstick, applying it while walking down the halls, eventually to the Mortuary.
"Pathologist? Ooh, sign me up as the godmother to their first-born" Mary muttered to herself, John grinning wickedly. They were like two naughty children hiding behind a door to see whatever their mates were getting up to.
"I've got you your coffee" Molly said. Sherlock had liked that change in her. She wasn't the quiet, mousy pathologist with a school-girl crush on him. That was obvious from the moment he'd met her. No, it was always something nagging at him, something about her he couldn't resist. She pecked his cheek, and he grinned, loping his arm around her small waste, their lips met and they kissed. But that moment was disturbed by the woman he had completely forgotten about.
"Oh, so you do wear that purple shirt when you're sexually frustrated" Mary grinned.
"Mary." Sherlock said. She grinned, the current shade of lipstick, a sort of pink-red was reserved for whenever she was annoying him. She could deduce him from the colour of his shirt, while he could deduce her next motive through the colour of her lipstick.
"Sherly." She grinned back, then she turned to the slightly embarrassed Pathologist "Oh, I'm not his sister, I'm his cousin. I'm Mary Morstan."
"I'm Molly, Molly Hooper." The Pathologist said
"Out of curiosity. Has he bought you a bouquet of flowers? Cream and peach roses?" Mary asked, Sherlock's eyes narrowed, she kept grinning
"Yeah, ehrm, why are you asking?"
"Oh, it's a list of things Sherlock said he'd do for his girlfriend, when he was five, Mycroft knows about it." Molly giggled and Sherlock flushed. John had been right behind her, trying not to die of laughter.
"Oh, um John, my dear cousin is staying with us for the next couple of months-"
"Yeah I know, she told me you git" John said
"Right well, I've got a post-mortem right now. I'll see you all later. And nice meeting you Miss Morstan"
"It's Mary" Mary grinned charmingly, having the Pathologist grin warmly back.
"Oh, Mrs Hudson. Sorry about having to dash off like that" Mary had left all her luggage at 221B, which Sherlock had texted her, and forgotten, about.
"Oh, Mary. I see you've picked up the boys. Oh, that is a beautiful car, isn't it!" Mrs Hudson gleamed at the car.
"I see Mycroft likes spoiling you" Sherlock said
"If you bothered to be nice to him, he might gift you with a brutal triple murder" Mary snapped. John merely shook his head.
"Oh don't worry about my coat Mrs Hudson, it's fine" Mary said politely with her charming grin
"See Sherlock, you should be like her more often. Such a polite young lady" Mrs Hudson said, before walking out the front door. Mary hung her coat on the hook before walking up the stairs. She'd seen 221B before, admittedly, as a ginger. Hands on hips, she looked at the chairs in the room, that one there was Sherlock's. John's was the one with the Union Flag pillow. Sheet music on the stand, by the looks of it, one inspired by Mycroft, judging by the pompous tune and the sudden bursts of sharps and flats.
"Ooh, Mycroft has his own theme now. Are we going to be playing it instead of God Save the Queen?" Mary teased
"Unless you'd like to play Ride Of The Valkyries" Sherlock suggested with a cock of his head. Mary opened one of her suitcases, looking for a stack of albums."
"Share that with Molly, John" Mary said "Just give them back in time so I can use it for their wedding" John laughed yet again and Sherlock spluttered. John began flicking through them, before he began coughing "Mycroft wasn't kidding"
"Yes, is there an issue with wanting to be a pirate?" Sherlock said, before snatching the album away from John.
"I wanted to be a Time Lord. He just copied me" Mary said, bringing up her suitcases to the spare room. Eventually, being all done, she slide down the bannister, violin and bow in hand, she winked at Sherlock, and simultaneously, they began playing 'God Save the Queen', cutting Mycroft off mid-sentence. Once the tune had ended, Mycroft glowered at the two of them.
"You two are honestly nothing but children"
"Thanks for the sexy Aston Martin by the way. Oh and yes, I know it was gifted to you by the MI6. How's convincing the Queen that Sherlock doesn't want a knighthood?" but then she mock-stopped to correct herself "Wait, then again you are the bloody Queen, tell me, how's the wife?" The visible shock from Sherlock and John's face were quite hilarious, if it weren't for the fact Mycroft looked like he could murder her.
"Yes, if I am not mistaken, to Anthea, except we all know Anthea isn't her real name." Mary continued
"Tell me then, what is her real name" Mycroft asked dangerously
"Oh even I don't know that. For all I know it's locked away in the Chamber of Secrets with some god-forsaken skeleton of a basilisk" Mary quipped, having a fit of giggles erupt from John. Sherlock tried to hide a smirk too. This was the pinnacle of her childhood, annoying Mycroft.
"I was merely here to check up on you. Now, if you two don't mind, I shall be leaving. Doctor Watson" He said to John, before exiting.
"That was certainly enlightening. Tell me, how did you know?" Sherlock grinned
"Tell me, how did you not notice that I've dated John?" Her eyebrow raised. Not before she heard a thump behind her. John fainted, rolling her eyes, she walked into the kitchen, exiting with a glass of water, before pouring the contents on him.
"OKAY, WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY!?" John said in an oddly high-pitched voice.
"Ah, nothing but a point proven. I am better at the art of disguise, Sherly"
"I told you to break up with her." Sherlock smirked
"Yeah, but you were… were"
"Ginger? At Harrow? Apparently a boring school teacher according to Sherly" Mary helped, sipping on some tea left there by Mrs Hudson
"Those horrid cream sneakers" Sherlock began
"Get the fuck out" Mary snapped "Converse. Doctor Who"
"And that shade of lipstick, actually, that suited you" Sherlock admitted
"It was a discontinued line, tell me, where did you buy the ring? Correction, Auntie's engagement ring isn't it?"
"Wait, what ring?" John asked
"He's obviously proposing to Molly" Mary said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world
" SHUT UP. ALL OF YOU" John began "I've had enough revelations for one day, I don't want to die of a heart attack." He was about to walk out the door when something crossed his mind "Just one more thing, why did you bash him up?"
"He was being a git"
"I needed to look bashed up for a case, the argument just helped." Sherlock replied curtly.
John woke up in the middle of the night. First of all, the thoughts regarding a one Miss Mary Morstan and those ever-changing shades of lipstick. Second of all, the racket that was going on downstairs. Pulling his robe on, he shuffled his way down the stairs to find the two cousins playing on their violins. Mary in her chiffon shirt, the same colour as Sherlock's dark purple, black pencil skirt, pantyhose and heels, legs crossed and looked vaguely murderous while Sherlock sat there, eyes wide opened as if something were obvious.
"Wait, Moon river?" John whispered to himself. It was then interrupted by the haunting tunes of 'Windmills of your mind', then interjected with the theme from 'Tammy'. "Nope. Not bothered"
John walked down the next morning, still annoyed.
"How are you two still having some sort of musical argument?" as he walked down to the tune of 'I want to break free' by Queen. It seemed his question was replied to with 'Twinkle, twinkle little star'
"Oh sorry." Mary apologised
"It's a form of communication." Sherlock began
"We got bored a lot during Violin lessons, so we found a way to talk without getting caught, yet practising at the same time"
"Oh, you're awake" Mrs Hudson walked in "How was your room?"
"Oh, I didn't sleep, to busy arguing" Mary grinned.
"Ah, so it's a family thing, you must get more sleep." Mrs Hudson reprimanded. "Honestly it's not good for you. That lovely inspector, Lestrade is here." Mary flicked her black curls around to see the silver-haired inspector walking up the steps.
"Sherlock, got a murder and a missing persons."
"No, boring" Sherlock replied
"No, go on." Mary asked
"Bloody hell, you too. Okay, heard of the recent murders"
"Oh, so it's serial now?" Mary remarked
"This would be the third. The first two victims have nothing in common, or we thought at first"
"Both women, single mother or divorced mothers. Mid to late thirties?"
"That was what we thought. But the latest one, she's different…"
"Different in what way?" John asked
"The murderer made a mistake. She isn't a mother, yet the death has the exact same trademark, but worse."
"Tell me, what is this trademark, pray how is it worse than the other two?" Sherlock asked, now curious
"Their hearts were ripped out… and burnt" Lestrade replied gravely. Mary paled, but the sound of tinkling china came from Sherlock's direction. And the sudden pause in typing from John left her with only one conclusion. Moriarty.
Yeah, so please review, and i really do hope you liked this chapter :) If you're on Tumblr, i'm Hermione-amelia-rose1479. And i really hope they aren't too au, and the idea of Mary having dated John before, was in Scandal in Belgravia, when Sherlock recounts all of John's ex's. The delicous idea that his own cousin had slipped right under his nose was very interesting...