Okay, this is my first attempt ever at writing poetry, so just...be nice. Based on Clancy of the Overflow. Some of the beginning is quite similar, but the end is nothing like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl or related characters. I also do not own Clancy of the Overflow. They belong to Eoin and Banjo respectively.

Love of Fire

I had written him a letter, which I had for want of better

Knowledge, sent to where I met him at his Manor, years ago.

He was thirteen when I knew him, so I sent the letter to him

Just of spec, return as follows: Holly Short of Those Below.

And an answer came directed, in a writing unexpected

(And I think the same was written after time spent in a bar)

'Twas his bodyguard who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it,

"Arty's gone to London secret, and we don't know where he are."

In the midst of worry hearty, visions came to me of Arty

Gone to London for some business, quite illegal to be sure

For to leave behind protection and with ease avoid detection

Must have motive if not sinister, than known outside the law.

So in London I did meet him, and not kindly did I greet him

In the rumble of the traffic and pollution of the town

I could not let it daunt me, that his pallid face could haunt me,

So I took him by the throat and got the Mud Boy pinned right down.

But as I looked at prey intended, I could see a vision splendid,

As two sapphires glittered oddly and I watched his ghostly smile

And I somehow rather rued that what I knew of him was true

And I wished him some strange riddle, with a heart of sapphire blue.

Then I was sitting on his double, quite convinced there would be trouble

For no Mud Man and no sapphires could ever make me doubt

As I did then of his causing of a fairy shipment pausing

On a route from here to Haven, which he must know all about.

And silent was the room then, but near me did he loom then,

And his eyes bore into mine like a drill into the ground.

And I could not break connection, as a force of strange convection

Held my eyes to his and drew me in a spell that had me bound.

And we were moving slowly nearer, and his face was getting clearer,

And his mouth and eyes were smiling, and his lips were warm and sweet

And I touched his chest of heating, and I found him softly beating

As I sank into the heaven of a love of fire and heat.

Please review! Try not to dwell too much on my dodgy rhyming. "Worry hearty." Honestly...