A/N: For those of you who haven't read it, this story takes over where my other story - Complications - left off. I think that by reading the prologue, you should get a rough idea of what happened in that story and you should be able to understand where the characters are coming from now. Of course, you could always just go ahead and read Complications first -- I won't mind. For those of you who were so kind to read (and especially those who reviewed:), this is the epilogue I had mentioned - only it grew into something a little more than an epilogue. Sorry it took so long. I hope you will forgive me and enjoy:) Scarlet
Summary: Taking place about two months after Complications or a few weeks after Day Three. Kate is still struggling with the ramifications of her decision on her life and the lives of those around her.
Spoilers up to Season Three, although in my world the events of Season Three would have happened a bit differently. The whole virus/Stephen Saunders thing happened, but the Salazars were dealt with a little differently. Nothing beyond Season Three though… I still haven't accepted Audrey or any of the rest of the events of the last two seasons.
Please read and review. Scarlet.
Prologue: Two Months Later
Kate rushed to answer the door before the ringing doorbell awoke her sleeping son. She grimaced as she recognized the figure on the other side of the door. Pulling the door open angrily, she confronted the woman on her doorstep.
"Kim, you know that you shouldn't be here. Your father respects my decision. Why can't you?"
"Because he shouldn't be respecting your decision. That's why."
Kate ushered her into the foyer, closing the door behind her. The pair moved into the kitchen and faced each other from opposite sides of the island.
"Where's Connor?"
"He's sleeping. Why are you here, Kim?"
"This isn't right, what you're doing, Kate. It's wrong and you have to know it. It's wrong for you, for Connor and for my Dad."
"That's not true. In the long run, this is what's best for Connor. He'll never be safe as the son of Jack Bauer. You should understand that better than anyone. And if you came here to question my judgement, you can leave now."
Kim was surprised by Kate's abruptness, but persisted. "I'll leave, Kate. But you'll listen to what I have to say first. You're making a huge mistake that will ruin Connor's life. That boy deserves to know his father. He deserves the right to grow up surrounded by the love of both of his parents. You're letting one incident alter the course of the rest of your life."
Kate interrupted her tirade. "That's right. I am changing the course of my life. It's my life. It's my right to choose how I live it."
"No, it's not your right," Kim replied, her voice rising with anger. "Your choices don't just affect your life. They affect Connor's life and my life and my Dad's life." She paused before continuing in a quieter tone. "This is destroying him, Kate."
Kate pondered Kim's arguments for several moments before responding. "I'm sorry that it has to be this way and I'm sorry it's been difficult for Jack. But imagine how much worse he'd feel if something happened to Connor because of him. This is hard on all of us, but it's for the best in the long run."
Frustrated, Kim paced across the kitchen floor. "You're doing all this because of one incident."
"Not just one. Don't forget about your own experiences."
"Experience," she clarified. "I'm twenty and there was only one time in my entire life that his work put me in danger. You're expecting the worst and it's going to ruin everyone's life."
She continued her pacing until she stood opposite Kate once again. Pointing an accusing finger at her chest, she spoke, her voice seething with anger. "You are single-handedly ruining my father's life. He is a wonderful father and Connor deserves to know that. And in spite of everything, he cares for you and he needs you. Now more than ever."
Kate was silenced by the fury emanating from the young woman facing her. Over the past few weeks, she had begun to second-guess her decision. Kim's anger caused her to feel even less confident about her plan. "How is Jack?"
"I'm not going to lie to you, Kate, so I hope you really want to know. He's not good. He's been using drugs and CTU found out and forced him to take leave to get help. He won't let me help him and he won't let me sit with him and he won't come with me to the hospital to see Chase. He's all alone and I'm really worried about him." Kim's voice broke with emotion and she quickly blinked away the tears that had formed in her eyes.
"Kim…" Sympathy for the young woman overwhelmed Kate and she walked to her side. She had known that her decision would hurt Jack and affect her life, but she hadn't factored in the effect that it had on all the other lives that intertwined with their lives. It took her a moment to realize that Kim had mentioned that Chase was in the hospital. "What happened to Chase?"
"It's a long story and one that, frankly, you're not entitled to hear any longer." Awareness crossed her features then. "You knew about the drugs, didn't you? You didn't even flinch when I mentioned it."
Kate nodded her head silently.
"That's why you left him, isn't it? It wasn't just the kidnapping. It was the drugs. You do realize that he had to start using drugs for his cover. He was doing his job."
"I knew about the drugs. I'd be lying if I said that it didn't factor into my decision at all. But, it's not why I left. In the end, I'm just trying to protect my son." Kate crossed her arms in front of her. "Now, you've said your peace so it's time to go."
"I don't suppose I can see Connor before I go."
"Kim, I just put him to sleep," Kate began to deny the request, but relented upon seeing the disappointment cross her features. "Please be quiet."
Kate led her down the hallway to the nursery, stepping aside to let Kim enter the room first. Connor continued to sleep undisturbed. Wisps of blonde hair fell across his forehead and his mouth moved in a slight sucking motion. The two women stood in silence for several minutes before Kate started to close the door. No words passed between them until they reached the foyer.
"He's beautiful, Kate. Thank you for letting me see him." Kim was halfway through the doorway when she turned back. "Please think about what I said. Even if it's too late for you and my Dad. Let Connor know his father."
Two days later, Kate waited patiently at the entrance to Jack's apartment. She had left Connor with her father and, despite her better judgement, had made her way to Jack's after completing her errands for the afternoon. Errands that had actually served to give her an afternoon out of the house. She hadn't realized how much she would miss the freedom of being able to just hop in her car and go somewhere whenever she wanted. Taking Connor anywhere required so much extra effort that she had fallen into the habit of having things delivered.
Kate was pulled from her reverie as the door opened before her. She was shocked by the appearance of the man framed in the entranceway. The colour he had taken home from his time in Mexico had faded away, replaced by a dull, ghostly pallor. His eyes were bloodshot and he clearly hadn't shaved for several days. It took her several minutes to regain her composure, but apparently Jack hadn't noticed. 'He's probably just as shocked to find me standing here as I am by his appearance.'
Regaining her composure, Kate broke the uncomfortable silence first. "Jack, can I come in?"
"No." His answer was abrupt, direct, and took her off her guard. She hadn't anticipated this coldness from him. She chided herself inwardly, trying to imagine if the roles were reversed and her own greeting to him were he to suddenly show up on her doorstep, unannounced.
"Jack, please let me talk to you." She held a hand up to ward off his forthcoming refusal. "I know you're angry with me. You probably hate me. I know I'm asking a lot, and I don't know what I would do if the situation were reversed, but please just hear me out."
The pair stood in uncomfortable silence. Jack's face revealed nothing to Kate and she steeled herself for the disappointment that would wash over her when he finally turned her away. He moved back through the doorway and she was so certain that he was about to close it in her face that she stood rooted in place for a full minute before moving through the opening he had left her.
Jack hadn't waited for her to enter and was already seated on the couch, a foot propped on the coffee table, a beer in one hand, a remote control in the other. Kate scanned the room in search of a seat, taking in the newspapers and fast food containers that were strewn about, finding none. She picked up a cardboard tray that held two empty coffee cups and several wadded up napkins and carried it into the kitchen, only to find the garbage already filled beyond capacity.
"You didn't come here to clean up, Kate, so don't." She cringed inwardly at the steel in his voice. "I like things the way they are, or I'd do something about it. Just say what you came to say and then go."
Kate dropped the tray on the counter amongst the dirty dishes and strode back into the living area. "You like things the way they are, Jack? How can you?"
Anger sharpened her stance in stark contrast to his own relaxed posture. Anger heightened even more so by his apparent disregard for her presence. The only hint of emotion in him was the slight movement as he clenched his jaw. He continued to stare at the television, ignoring her question.
She softened her voice in the face of his mute defiance. "I know you, Jack, and you don't like this," she indicated the filth surrounding her. "You don't sit and stare at a TV all day. You are more than this." She paused, hoping to gain some response from him. "At least, you were."
Jack's only response was to take another drink of his beer. Several minutes passed between them in silence. Shaking her head, Kate turned to leave.
"Why didn't you bring him?"
"What?" His words were so soft, she wasn't sure that she heard them correctly.
"Why didn't you bring him, Kate?" Agitation increased the volume of his voice. "Why did you come here after so long and not bring him? How could you come to see me and deny me my son, Kate?" He bit her name off bitterly.
Slamming his beer on the table before him, he strode to stand before her. "Why are you here? You don't want anyone to know that he has anything to do with me, that you have anything to do with me, remember? So why are you here?"
He moved closer, invading her space, intimidating her with his presence and the hatred in his eyes. She stepped back reflexively.
"Did you come to gloat? Is that it? Well, here you go. Look at me. Get your fill. You were so right to take Connor away from me. You were right, Kate. I'm a loser strung out on drugs who destroys anything that comes close to him. This is my life and you were right to get the hell out of it. So get the hell out of it!"
Kate flinched as his fury washed over her, but she held her ground. "You don't have to live like this, Jack. I don't want you to live like this."
"Well, guess what? When you decided that I couldn't be a part of your life, you pretty much gave up the right to tell me how to live mine. Is that why you came? To make sure that I was okay? Well, I'm not. Think about how you would feel if I took Connor away from you. If you lost your job and your friends and your partner and everything else that mattered in your life. Now think about how you would feel if you were the one that had done it all. If you were the one who had caused all that pain in your life, and in their lives.
"I'm not going to sugar-coat it for you, Kate. It's not easy. My life hasn't been good. But I'm still here, hoping that it can't get any worse. Trying to pick up the pieces and move on and then you show up. Reminding me of everything that I'm trying to forget. Pretending that you care how I'm…"
"I care, Jack."
"You don't get to care!" He pointed an accusatory finger in her face. "You can't care." Jack's voice cracked with emotion. "This wouldn't be happening if you cared."
"Please, Jack." She reached up and grasped his hand in hers, entangling their fingers. She stepped closer to him, closing the space between them. Bringing their hands down to their sides, she used her free hand to stroke his brow. "You have to know that I care about you. You have to believe that taking Connor from you was the hardest decision of my life. You have to believe that not a minute goes by without me second-guessing that decision."
She felt his fury subside slightly, her touch soothing his ire as she had hoped it would. As the angry sparks faded in his eyes, she witnessed the pain previously hidden. Then he blinked, replacing the vulnerability she had seen with cold indifference once again. He released her hand and stepped away, turning his back while running a hand through his already-dishevelled hair.
"Alright, Kate. Why are you here?" His voice sounded defeated when he asked the question.
"What are you doing, Jack?" She asked in return. She quickly elaborated when he turned to her, questioning. "I mean, is this what you want? Is this your grand plan? Don't you want to get better? Kim said that you could go back…"
"Kim. Kim asked you to come and see me. Now I understand. That's why you're here, so soon after it all happened." He flopped down on the couch, resuming his earlier position.
"I don't… after what happened, Jack?" Her question was met with stony silence. Determined, Kate sat next to him, angled so she could look at his face. "No, Jack, I don't think you do understand."
Jack turned his gaze to hers, but remained silent, only a slightly raised eyebrow indicated that he was interested in what she would say next.
Encouraged by his lack of protest, she continued. "Yes, Kim did come and see me. And, yes, talking to her forced me to come here sooner. But, I was already on my way here, in my mind. I was already thinking that maybe I wasn't right to force you out of my life, our lives. But, I wasn't sure. I'm still not sure. You have to understand how emotional and upset I was that day. How terrified I was… for Connor… and for myself."
Kate ducked her head in shame with that admission and subsequently, had missed the softening in Jack's expression. Taking a deep breath, she pushed forward with her confession. "But you didn't really even put up a fight, you didn't even really argue. So when I started to question myself, I thought that maybe you thought I was right, too. That you thought that I should stay away from you, even when I needed you with me." She threw up her hands in frustration. "This isn't making any sense, is it?"
"Kate…" He met her eyes, unsure of what to say next. He understood the motives behind her decision. In some weird, third-party observer kind of way, he even agreed with it. But he struggled to get past the hurt and anger; the pain and suffering of the past two months. He struggled to find the love he once felt for the woman before him and he struggled not to find it. Love meant forgiveness and he didn't know if he was ready to forgive.
When Jack failed to continue, she interrupted his silence again. "Jack, I came here to find out what you want."
"What I want?"
"What you want. If you want to be in Connor's life, I won't stop you. Or at least, I wouldn't, if you were the man that gave him life. The man that I loved."
A ghost of a smile danced on Jack's lips. "You mean, you'd change your mind."
"On one condition." Caution crossed his features as she spoke. "No drugs, Jack. I can't have you bring that into his life. I'll let you back in, but I won't compromise on this, okay?"
Jack smiled and his smile reached his eyes for the first time in months. He knew that the road to recovery would bring him more pain than he wanted to imagine, but he knew he would make it through. He knew that he had something waiting at the end of the road: his son. He reached out and wrapped Kate in a fierce hug, discovering in her embrace the lifeline that he had been struggling to find for so long.
After several minutes, he pulled back slightly, keeping his arms around her but moving so he could see her face. "If I get to be a part of Connor's life, what about you, Kate? What does that mean about us?"
She looked away hesitantly. "One thing at a time, Jack. One thing at a time."
A/N: Well, that was the epilogue/prologue I had alluded to. Please let me know if it was worth reading. I intend to take this story further, if there's interest. I have all sorts of fun planned for the pair, maybe even a few other 24 characters as well. Thanks for reading and please review. Scarlet.