Maternal Instincts

After her recent fight with Callisto Xena is met outside the cave by Artemis, goddess of the Amazons, "I'm sorry about your son Xena. As you can probably guess, I'm here about Gabrielle. Not to convince you not to kill her, though the state you're in that's probably what you're thinking of doing. Hope was killed you know."

"But she admitted she lied to me in Brittania!"

"No, Xena I mean just now. She killed the child…her own flesh and blood. Not because the child was evil, though admittedly Hope was evil beyond chance of redemption, but the only thing she was thinking since your son died was that her daughter hurt you. She did it, not out of a sense of doing right, or avenging the dead, or to defend the innocent, but out of her sense of duty to you. You know there would be a lot less evil and wrongful death in the world if more mothers were capable of that, but that thing you call "maternal instinct" causes the mother to always have faith that their children aren't really so bad, that they can be redeemed. Ask yourself right now if you could have done what Gabrielle just did if the roles were reversed, to go against the very nature of your humanity? Do you think you would've come this far without her? You would probably be in Callistos' place right now if not for Gabrielle. She has fire, strong will, and she's loyal to those she loves. Now though she is in pain both from the act of killing her child and from betraying you. You better hurry before she finishes the poison herself. She's in a clearing that way." Artemis pointed the way before disappearing once again.

Xena took off for the clearing before Artemis even finished speaking. She got to the clearing and saw Gabrielle with the water skin nearly to her lips. The warrior princess threw her chakram breaking the container and causing the poisoned water to spill on the ground "Gabrielle…"

The Amazonian princess did not reply instead falling silent and slouching in her spot on the ground, leaned against a rock. Xena walked over and knelt in front of the barely coherent girl noticing the badly blood shot eyes with heavy dark circles. "Artemis came to me a moment ago and talked to me about you."

"Did she try to convince you to not come and take revenge for your son? Cause if she wasn't able to I'm ready."

"No she told me that you had avenged him already, but you know I don't trust the word of any god, and I'm sorry to ask you, but is what she said true. What happened Gabrielle?"

"…I did it…I told Hope we were gonna meet the others in the cave. She got thirsty and I gave her a skin of poisoned water to drink…Xena, have I done something in this life or a previous life to deserve this. I mean why did my child have to be irredeemable? Why was my body chosen to bear Dahok's child? Why did I have to love her? And why did the thing I loved have to become the thing that made you hate me? Whether you believe the truth behind my words or not I do love you Xena, more than anything else in this world or the next. I would send myself and the rest of the world to Tartarus if it meant making you happy. And yet all I seem to do is hurt you. I end up constantly reminding you of the evil you've done, I betray you to an evil tyrant in China, and lie to you about my daughter who ends up murdering your son…you should kill me Xena, or I'll just keep hurting you…cause I don't have the strength to keep away from you."

Xena was so shocked she fell the rest of the short distance from her squatting position to the ground. She stared speechless at the woman before her who, though in part responsible for her son's death, had killed her own daughter for the murderous act. The woman before her had proven time and again that she would stop at nothing if it meant helping the former warlord, after a moment of reflection Xena knew she could never find it in herself to hate the redhead. She pulled her friend into a tight embrace and began to cry with her chin resting on top of Gabrielle's head. "No Gabrielle, if anything it's me who doesn't deserve you and the goodness you bring to my life every day. I could never bring myself to hurt you. I love you too, so much. I was so blinded by how your child came to be that I forgot that she was still a part of you and you were only acting as any mother would. Artemis asked me if I could've brought myself to do what you did if our roles were reversed and Solan was the evil one. If I'm honest, I believe the answer is no, I wouldn't have been able to do it, even if I actually saw him committing the act. You are so strong Gabrielle much stronger than me in all the important ways. I don't know why I deserve your love with all the evil I've done."

"Xena, the fact that you think you don't deserve my love makes me want to give it to you that much more. You've changed so much from the warlord you once were…back then would you have even hesitated before killing me after Solan's death? You are not that woman anymore; you were strong enough to break the chains of anger and hatred, which is why I love you…as so much more than just a friend." Gabrielle said, barely even whispering the last phrase, but Xena still heard everything.

She loves me…really loves me? In that way…why? After all the times I've made her stay back from a mission, or lied to her about my purpose on a mission, or how I've treated her during some missions, even when we aren't on a mission I still never treat her as well as she deserves. The fact that she still considers me a friend is amazing. Gods what should I do? I still feel so torn in different directions right now.

Sensing her friend's unease Gabrielle pulled back a bit before rising up to press her forehead against Xena's, "Neither of us should be thinking on things like this right now. You have a son to mourn and I have my own grieving to do. Even if she was purely evil she was still my daughter. We both need time to deal with their deaths before we try to do anything else. But you know I will be here whenever you need me."

"I know you will Gabrielle; you've proven that so many times, no matter what I've done while we've been together that would've driven anyone else away." Xena said placing her hands on either side of Gabrielle's face and leaning down slightly she gave the woman a gentle kiss, "I love you Gabrielle. We'll make it through this, it will take time, but together we'll get through it."

That night they held each other as they watched the funeral pyres for Solan and Hope burn. "You interfered!" Ares fumed as he appeared next to Artemis who was watching the funeral from afar.

"Yes, I suppose I did…how did Callisto get out of her imprisonment again?" Asked the goddess with a smirk, Ares opened his mouth to argue with her, but then recomposed himself and, with a glare at Artemis, vanished again. "Your journey is not yet over ladies, this was a major obstacle, but if you can get past it together then the rest will be livable. As for now I must go and talk to father about my meddling step brother." Said the goddess to no one before she too vanished.