A/N: I was reading this one day and I was like EW! So I hopefully made it a bit better... Also HUGE THANKS TO IJAPAN! A lovely beta who caught like 5 million mistakes :)
OXOXOXO
STUPID LOVE COOK! He's so... BLIND! He needs to open both his fucking eyes instead of covering one like a wannabe emo kid! Ignorant asshole... Fucking blind-ass-bitch. Of all people to fall for. Damn you lady luck! Fucking bitch...
He only knew how it started and then how it fell downhill from there.
At first he tried to be friendly towards the new addition to the crew. But the guy had something against men or something. He didn't have a problem with that though. Oh no, not at all. But when he first saw the blonde's reaction to women it agitated him for some unknown reason. Actually, he knew the reason pretty well.
It was the exact type of treatment that Kuina would hate. And in turn he hated it too.
He put up with it for a month or so, who knows how fucking long. But soon he had to voice how stupid the other was. And when he did it was only an annoyed snort.
Then it was like an asteroid hit the earth and murdered everything that the cook loved and it was his fault.
The man exploded in his face and before they both knew it, they were both toe to toe in combat. And it was when the bastard had gotten in his first kick when he had realized that the person wasn't what he thought he was.
The man wasn't just a prissy, lovesick, goofy, bitchy, man that acted like there was one of his rolling pins up his ass. Oh-ho no. It was a strong, passionate bastard with all those other things. And from then on, much to his dismay, he only learned more and more about the man until he found that he looked forward to their daily and or hourly sparring. He enjoyed the annoying ass courting of any and all women even if it wasn't to him. And that he liked the boyish grin on his face when he explained his dream restaurant to worse, what he loved even more, the proud and happy expression he showed when he had finally reached and was living his dream.
And sure seeing and being around that was all nice. But he could only wish that somehow he could be the reason for that full hearted smile. It wasn't possible though. Because as he fell in love, Sanji fell into disgust.
Zoro closed his eyes as he walked into his apartment. He slammed the door shut behind him loud enough to cause an echo to ring throughout the apartment building. Cracks around the door probably appeared at the force of the door.
But he didn't care; his head and heart felt like they were going to explode.
The man sat down in his plain living room, the old couch creaking in objection, in an attempt to clear his thoughts. But no matter what he thought about – whether it was swords, rubbermen, or even reindeer – nothing took his mind off the horrible news.
"Maybe some muscle training will help," he muttered to no one in particular. He got up and stomped over to the second of the two bedrooms in his apartment.
Well, it wasn't exactly a bedroom anymore per say.
It had been converted into a training room for himself. It was great considering that he never really had guests over, mainly because his home was rundown and really shabby.
The room was cleared out to only mats for flooring. There were a pile of weights, several bokken, and bamboo posts bolted into the ground. The posts were in a separate corner from all the others. A window was cracked open with dark curtains covering it blowing slightly in the breeze. He'd close it later.
Walking to the middle of the room Zoro stripped off his shirt, exposing the long scar that stretched diagonally down his chest. He had gotten it from Mihawk in an impulsive battle, but the past was the past and he really didn't think much of it. It was part of him; a souvenir and reminder that he was not strong enough. Not quite yet.
He grunted and got into position for one armed handstand push-ups and began his monstrous workout.
"One... two... three... four..."
The low sound of numbers increasing were the only sounds in the apartment. There really wasn't much that went on in his house and that made it quiet.
He tried to pull his mind off of everything else and pour all this thoughts into training. His heart hurt from trying to cope with what he had heard earlier that day.
The big news of Sanji going to be a daddy devastated him. It wasn't fair! Sanji only knew the girl for a couple of months, whilst he was always there for him! Kinda...
A voice in the back of his mind told him that life wasn't fair. And he agreed.
But that didn't stop him from mentally cursing the man and whatever caused him to fall for the blonde.
Stupid, stupid blind cook. He and his chivalrous acts and his dopey attitude around girls that could make him cute. He and his strong and powerful legs that he could fight against in combat as an equal. He and his stupid mindset on how he must protect every 'lady' that he sees.
Zoro silently cursed the god he didn't believe in for making him fall for Sanji. They were enemies for fucks sake! And who knew he was such a sap?!
Zoro felt miserable and invisible. Well, in the sense that he could be a possible love interest. No one knew. Not a single person. Well, maybe Robin. No. Defiantly Robin after today.
Now that he thought of it, it was surprising that she didn't know until the faithful walk home.
But he guessed that the only reason she might have known was from his job, for she worked in the same line. Often she would assign the person of interest to him. And on several occasions Zoro would have to seduce his victims before finishing them off, though he was a bit ashamed of it. He was a bounty-hunter and a personal assassin! Not some hooker! But, whatever it takes... What ever it takes...
It was the only job he could have anyways. He had no choice whatsoever for jobs if he wanted to pursue his dream. The pay was good, and with all the training he had to do plus various trips to underground sword-fighting clubs – which were illegal – he could never find the time for a real job. Nor did he even really want a real job.
"Nine-hundred-ninety-eight ... nine-hundred-ninety-nine... one thousand!"
Zoro flipped over and landed on his back with a satisfying thump. Getting up, slightly sweaty and shining in the dim light, he walked around until he stumbled into his bedroom.
Dammit, why does everything move always! In his own home too!
There were no decorations in his home anywhere. He wasn't a fan of swanky things. Simple was good.
His apartment consisted of two small bedrooms -er one bedroom and a workout room, one bathroom place with a tiny kitchen, and a sorry excuse for a living room. It wasn't bad considering what he was willing to pay.
All the room walls were faded gray. Zoro really didn't care though. Give him a bed, a couch, a place to practice and train, some strong alcohol and he was set. His bedroom was not an exception to the un-ostentatiousness of the home. It was simple with a bed, a drawer, and a cylinder tube with a strap that Zoro never left his "home" without. Nothing more, nothing less.
Taking clothes and a towel with him, Zoro walked to his bathroom. This was most likely the most colorful part of the place. The sea-green colored tiles on the floor and the sky-blue wallpaper littered with clouds made you feel like you were standing on the ocean. He didn't know why this was the only place decorated but it didn't mean he didn't appreciate it.
He stepped inside the shower; he shivered a bit and waited for the water to warm up. As the water altered from cold to warm to scalding, Zoro's mind wandered back to earlier that day while he absentmindedly cleaned himself.
Five Hours Earlier
"OI! LOOK! ZORO SHOWED UP!"
As he walked through the doors of the Le Baratie, he was attacked by a straw-hatted monkey. Luffy clung to Zoro as if his life depended on it. The energetic kid wrapped his arms around his friend and was smiling from ear to ear. He hadn't seen anyone in a while and they all missed him. Including Luffy.
"Get off me dammit!" He yelled, trying to pry the raven haired man off him as he walked. "What's the big deal? Why is everyone here?"
He looked around the big, round restaurant. The walls were a light purple and from the white cathedral ceilings hung a shiny, tinted pink chandelier. It was a nice famous restaurant that Sanji and his dad started on the pier. He had no clue why he was called to the place but apparently it was urgent so he left an hour early just to get here.
It obliviously wasn't because it was his first excuse to see Sanji in a month...
But at the looks of it, he was late.
It wasn't his fault though! With Lady Luck, Duke Derek Direction (the dumbass) abandoned him too.
Everything moved.
He would know exactly where he's going and when he got there everything switched and he'd be in a totally new place!
It was everything else moving though. Zoro never got lost!
"Becwaaase Sanjdi haaashh uh bwigg anounshmenttt..." Zoro looked at him, not understanding the seemingly rubber kid. He stopped trying to pull Luffy off of him by his face and let him speak. "I said, Because Sanji has a big announcement." Luffy let go and dragged the swordsman to a table with a seat that read 'Stupid-plant'.
He sighed...
This was his relationship with Sanji.
"Very funny you dumb question-mark..." He muttered, taking the seat to sit down.
Right when Zoro sat, Luffy bounded over to the other side of the round table. On each of his sides were Usopp and Nami. Nami sat next to Robin in between them, who nodded quietly towards Zoro before continuing her conversation. In between Usopp and himself sat Chopper, who was listening intently to one of Usopp's stories. He could practically feel the excitement coming off the scrawny kid in waves.
On the table was a beer, and it was obviously for him because there was a label that said, "For dumbasses with green hair only," underneath it.
He banged the top against the table and the cap flew off. At least it was good beer. The man may have hated him but he knew his favorite type of beer. Not the shitty light stuff that only sissies drank.
After taking a swig from the brownish bottle, Zoro looked around the room once again. From what he could tell, almost everyone that he knew was here, including the group that Luffy practically forced him to hang out with. Even people he didn't know were here.
What the hell did Curly-brow have to say that is so important that he needs to tell everyone about?
As if summoned by the thought of him, Sanji walked suavely down the spiral stairs, cigarette in his mouth, and he stalked directly towards Cami where he stopped before her. He bent down to his knees in graceful ease and took her hand so delicately as if she would break... and kissed it.
Zoro nearly broke his beer bottle that he was holding. He looked away to try to calm down.
"Ho ho... looks like Zoro's jealous!" He turned around to see the same idiot not even an inch away from his face. He froze at the closeness. Sanji's head moved in but instead of closing in on his lips like Zoro oh so secretly wished for, he went directly to his ear. "Well guess what? She's mine." Sanji huskily whispered into his ear sending shivers down his spine, plus an explosion of anger everywhere in his body.
Zoro pushed Sanji away from him to prevent any "problems" from appearing and hissed venomously at him. "Why the fuck would I be jealous of a curly-browed idiot like you?"
"Because I have a relationship and you don't~" He pointed out in a sing-song voice. To this, Zoro just snickered. He didn't like Cami one bit and he knew she was capable of lying to somebody's face without batting an eye. Which his guy was telling him that was what his relationship wither her was based off of.
Or maybe he was just jealous.
"Well maybe I don't want to be hurt or cheated on. Some people don't know the word LOYALTY." He spat bitterly. He knew that this would piss on Sanji's parade, but he didn't care. The ass deserved it.
Zoro looked up from the ground to see a hurt Sanji who bumped past him silently, obviously not in the mood to bicker anymore. Sanji jumped onto a table whilst Zoro sat down and attempted to take another swig of his beer, but found it empty so he opened another that was placed carefully under his chair. He took another glance of the blonde just to make sure that he was okay, but it looked as if he was over the comment.
CLING! CLING! CLING!
The sound of the high pitched tapping rang throughout the restaurant as Sanji clinked a butter knife against a wine glass. "Alright! Everyone's here now? Even the Marimo Head? Wow! He actually made it twenty minutes late! Good job you shitty bastard!" He joked sarcastically to everyone. Everyone laughed.
"Har, har." Snorting, Zoro yanked the table cloth underneath the stupid blonde causing him to fall. "What of it? You're lucky I even showed up." No. He was the lucky one to be able to see the chef.
"Huh? You want to start something Moss-Head?" Sanji got up ready to fight. "Shitty bastard... You're twenty minutes late to the hospital!"
"As if you can even lay a finger on me!" Zoro scoffed taking his swords out of the tube slung on his back but kept them sheathed. With incredible force, Sanji began to kick and attempted to land a hit on the Marimo. Forehead to forehead in battle, Sanji suddenly moved back shooting imaginary kitchen knives into Zoro's chest. A hypothetical cleaver cut the swordsman's heart in two.
"Aww... Sanji lost..." Whined Ace and Luffy from somewhere nearby.
"I DID NOT! I have better things to do than fight an oversized weed! Geez, you're so annoying..." With that he jumped back on another table choosing one specifically not near Zoro. "So is everyone here? Vivi, Nami, Robin, ladies, and the rest of you worms. All set! So-"
"WHAT'S THE SUPAAAAARR NEWS?" Franky cut him off, posing in his glory, resulting with a plate in his face. For once he actually wore pants but he took them off so now he was just wearing his speedo.
"As I was going to say," straightening his tie, "Cami-chan and I are going to-"
"BE PARENTS!" Cami squealed. "I'm a mommy!"
An awkward silence filled the room. A tumbleweed could have rolled around in the restaurant and it would not seem out of place. Or a plastic bag. They were in a concrete jungle but it was not half as bad as other places in New York.
No one made a sound. All were too shocked to say a word.
But then, there was cheering.
"Congrats Cami-san!" Vivi squealed running up to Cami, blue hair flowing. She grabbed her hands and they jumped excitedly together.
"I'll baby-sit... for a price!" Chimed in the money loving witch, otherwise known as Nami. You could almost see money signs in her eyes.
"Cami..." There was a dramatic pause. "Can I see your panties?" Brooke got hit in the face with a plate just like Franky for that question courtesy of Sanji.
"I, the GREAT USOPP know all about raising kids! Feel free to ask for help any time! I have raised thirty wonderful kids and they all love me!" Usopp stood up from his spot and started to spout out fake stories about the years that he apparently raised kids. In reality he knew some kids but never took care of them. Three in fact. Not thirty.
"REALLY!? Awesome!" Exclaimed Chopper and Luffy, believing the obvious lies.
Zoro said nothing. He didn't need this shit. He dragged himself all the way here for this shitty news? What a waste of time.
He quietly got up and started out the door. "Swordsman-san? Where are you going?" A raven haired lady inquired. She gracefully accompanied him outside.
"For a walk." He stated cold and curtly, trying to keep a hold of his feelings. Robin simply walked quietly along.
They both strolled down the pier and back to the sandy beach sidewalk. The sunset was beautiful as they walked down into the streets nearby, the crisp mid-November air cutting past their faces as they continued down the cement path in a somewhat tense atmosphere. The air's smell changed from salty to a more woodsy smell that traveled from the beautiful walking trails nearby.
That evening Robin looked absolutely astonishing, well at least to Zoro. She wore a navy low-cut dress that went down to the ground even though she wore pitch black heels. The dress slit up the side of her thigh all the way up to her hip. When she would walk or if gentle breeze were to brush her dress ever so slightly all the men would look in hopes of getting a better look at the classy women. Even the greatest of priests or the most holy person couldn't resist.
Finally, far away from the restaurant, Robin broke the silence. "Zoro-san you don't seemed too pleased at the news... care to tell me what's bothering you?"
"..." He pretended not to hear her comment. They walked on for another block without saying a word.
"Oh... I see. You're heartbroken..." She sighed sadly. The words seem to flow from her ruby red lips.
Zoro choked on his breath hearing that. "Y-you know?" he sputtered non-too intelligently.
When did he give it away? All he did was fight with the cook.
"Yes. But it is but a simple crush. You'll get over it." Robin said. "I always see you sneaking glances by the way." She smiled knowingly.
WHAT?! He always made sure no one was looking! Robin and her fucking eyes were everywhere! Shit!
He turned to her trying to read her. Would she tell? He couldn't read her one bit. The only thing he saw under the long, thick, black eyelashes were two icy blue irises staring right back at him.
"Can... can you keep it a secret? Please?" Zoro looked into her eyes with a begging expression. "No one is supposed to know!"
"Yes... Cook-san would surely try to kill you if he were to find out." She droned thoughtfully.
"Tell me about it..." Zoro admitted half-heartedly. They continued to walk in silence, but it was interrupted by a small chuckle from the slim and beautiful lady beside him.
"To think you would fall for the most romantic loving girl..." Zoro mentally froze but continued to walk on auto pilot.
Robin thought he liked Cami… as if he would ever fall for that dimwit! Not realizing the look on his face Robin gasped, finally reconnecting the dots correctly.
"You like... Sanji instead..." Zoro flushed at the bluntness of her words. He quickened his pace in a useless attempt to escape. Woman easily matched his speed much more gracefully despite the several inch heels she wore.
"Y-yeah... I do... I have to go now, bye!" He replied a bit too quickly as well as uncharacteristically and ran off, leaving Robin until he found himself an abandoned alley several blocks away.
Now alone, away from the women, he unscrewed the black tube on his back and pulled out a piece of paper containing a picture of a long nosed, evil looking guy with a price. If he remembered correctly, he had some connections to Nami in the past that Luffy had cut.
Name: Arlong
Bounty: 20,000
It wasn't much but it would do.
His description read that the wanted man should be in Arlong Park, a club across the street.
Not really in the mood, Zoro stepped inside the club, drawing his swords out. The club smelled of fish, money, and expensive perfume.
Was this what a hooker smelled like?
"Poor people are such vile creatures! All you can trust are the rich and money!" A sickening laugh spread across the club. The club's ocean smell reminded him of party announcement that happened earlier that day, turning his mood sourer.
"OI! What are you doing!? Club doesn't open til- GAH!" He slashed the man yelling at him in a clean cut. The man fell dead and bled onto the floor. He didn't feel like being merciful today. He needed to release his anger and these men were his scapegoats.
He walked forward in the club, stopping in front of the man with the bounty on his head sitting inside a massive chair. The man was huge but was not more than he could handle.
"Hehehehe! The demon swordsman himself has come to collect my bounty has he? Too bad the poor likes of you cannot even scratch me. Chew! Kuroobi! Kill him! And please don't make a mess like last time! It cost money to get the smell of blood out!"
Zoro, still feeling heartbroken and jealous, pushed all his human emotions aside to begin his mission. Putting Meitou Wadō Ichimonji in his mouth, the rest of the job was a blur.
OXOXOXO
Walking back from turning in the Arlong guy at a place that was confidential, Zoro shivered and stopped at a crossroad. A cool breeze seemed to beckon him to go left.
But I swear my home is to the right!
The wind blew harder, almost pushing him into the direction that it was blowing. Following the wind Zoro made it to his home faster than usual.
"Thanks." He whispered, only to hear a slight whistle in reply, then he stomped into his apartment.
Now
Feeling the water running colder, Zoro stepped out of the shower shivering slightly. He dried himself off and started to put on his clothes when he heard someone in the living room. Stepping out of the bathroom, Zoro jumped at the familiar timid voice.
"Zoro?"
"Chopper?! What are you doing here? How did you even get in? I almost killed you!" Chopper blushed at the question, feeling ashamed of coming in without permission.
"My grandma is in one of her moods right now and chased me out... plus she had some patients to look after so..." Chopper paused a little. "Nami gave me the key!" He suddenly blurted out. Feeling even more ashamed, Chopper put his head in his scrawny hands and sank to the floor in an attempt to disappear.
Zoro smiled understandingly at the 'Tiny Tim' of his friends. He put his hand in the teen's soft brown hair and ruffled it. "It's alright, but how did she get the key?"
"S-she st-stole yours and c-copied it..." He tried to shrink down more to hide himself but he felt the other man crouch down beside him.
"Stupid witch..." Zoro muttered before pulling Chopper in for a comforting hug. "You want to stay over?" He offered.
The kid nodded, looking up at the green haired man. Smiling softly, he buried his face into the older man's shirt and allowed himself to be carried to the couch where they laid down to rest. Before they knew it, both of them were fast asleep.