Broken

Fang

Won't somebody notice me

That I'm crying on the inside

I'm trying to keep it in

I feel like a sin

I'm so deep in this shit

I'm feeling like shit

I'm breaking down like all these bricks

I want to say fuck you, fuck you, Oh and fuck you too

I'm sick and tired of this life

Tired of living

So tired of breathing

Yet here I am still bleeding

I wish I was dreaming

But I'm here on the ground

Bleeding, bleeding, bleeding

I wish I wasn't breathing

All I hear is your drunken screaming

You wish to die

And now so do I

You turned like this once she died

I feel like shit

All of these puzzle pieces are starting to fit

I see what's happened

I finally see what's happened now

We have seemed to broken down

You and me are always fighting

And I end up crying

I'm telling myself that this has never happened

I'm lying to myself

I wish someone would notice and help me

Here I am dangling on this string

I want to stop your drunken screams

I want to stop our fighting

For once I want to start smiling

I want to try

I don't want to say goodbye

My pen scratched against the paper making a rough sound, leaving a streak of ink all over the goodbye. I sighed and looked at what I just wrote. My life was a wreck. I have somehow put a million of my emotions into my new poem. I leaned back on my chair pushing myself away from my desk and my new master piece. I, Nicholas 'Fang' Walker, was quite proud of what I wrote. Probably one of the only things I'm proud of but I would never show them to anybody. I would be declared even more 'Emo' I never really got why they all said that rude shit. I just liked wearing black. And doing other things, like being alone. I got up from the chair I was sitting on and went to my window. I looked at my neighbors house and thought 'Did they ever hear my dads drunken screaming and talking shit or do they just ignore us?' I wasn't sure and I shouldn't care I hadn't talked to the neighbors in 11 years and that was when I was 6. I'm 17 now and even though I pass by there everyday I just stopped talking to them. I suddenly heard a car pull up.

"Shit!", That was probably my dad and I forgot to put his beers to cool. 'Damn. Shit. Fuck.' I was thinking of every possible curse word on the planet. I was about to get scream fest from him. Worst case scenario I end up with bleeding ear drums and really it doesn't sound that bad since I'm always trying not to hear what he's saying. Best case scenario is that my dad is so drunk from where ever he returned he doesn't notice his beer isn't cold.

"You little shit get your fucking ass down here now you fucker!", he sounded wasted I just hope he wasn't really mad or anything he seems to take his anger out on me or any other emotion really.

I sighed and ran my hands through my black-midnight colored hair. I went down the stairs to suddenly be hit by a horrible stench of alcohol. It reeked like rotten garbage and I had to stop myself from gagging and throwing up. I saw him laying there on the couch looking wasted as always.

"Where's my beer?", his words were slurred and the only reason I could understand him was because he was always like this all the time and I was used to it by now.

"I'll go get you one.", I murmured. Suddenly a vase smashed against the wall I was standing against. The shards bounced off the wall and cut their way into my exposed skin. It stung like a bitch.

"Speak up when your talking to me you shit!" No matter what I do I get him mad. I don't blame him that's why I let him do what he wants. I blame myself too. It's all my fault... My mind was starting to get to deep into this I quickly shook off the memory that was starting to worm itself back into my head.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed him a beer. I walked over to see him talking gibberish to his self. Suddenly he started crying the tears streaming down his worn out face. I then heard him say my moms name and I wanted to go over there and shut him up. I hated hearing my moms name. It reminded me of her. Anything that reminded me of her got me angry. I knew better though. I tried that when I was younger and he would just scream me and tell me he could say whatever he wanted, when he wanted. That it's my fault she's dead and then I'd stop fighting his words that were killing me from the inside. I'd let him verbally abuse me. I felt like I deserved it. This was my punishment for doing what I did to her. My own mother.

My thoughts were suddenly stopped when I heard his rough voice.

"What the hell are you doing just standing there like a retard. Give me my beer!"

He snatched the beer from my hands and he was already chugging it down. He clearly wasn't looking at me. I was a pain to him. We were both such a broken family

I woke up to my music blasting out of my iHome. That was weird why the hell do I have music playing. I don't ever have music playing in the morning unless it was an alarm or an event. I grabbed my iPhone which was connected to the iHome and looked to see what it said. CASSIE. Who was Cassie? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks."SHIT!", I yelled so loudly I'm pretty sure I woke up my dad. My cousin Cassie was going to come and live with my dad and I. I forgot that she was going to live here for her whole high school year. 'Damn! How the hell do I forget that my 15 year old cousin is coming to stay at my house?' Oh ya because I have other things to worry about then a teenage girl coming to live over here. I live in my own little bubble I never worry about anything. I swear that's gonna get me killed one of these days. The door came crashing down out of the nowhere.

"Why the hell do you have music playing so early in the morning!?" he was obviously mad but he didn't want to start a fight. A least not right now.

Now how do I tell him that someone else was coming to live at our house and that he had to clean up his act while my cousin Cassie was here and that would have to last for .. I don't know FOUR DAMN YEARS!

"What the hell did you just say!" Oh did I just say that out loud...?

"Yes!" he yelled again.

"When were you going to tell me your cousin was coming over?" he screamed at me

"I did but you were drunk ass fuck when I told you!" I yelled right back at him.

"Fine do whatever you want just keep the little bitch out of my way." he grumbled.

"Oh and clean up this damn house!" I heard him scream down the hall.

My whole world was broken wasn't it.