YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK - Chapter One
MKR & related © CLAMP, etc. Story © 2006 suzanami. Do not redistribute without permission.

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You've got to swear
That you've got love to love me that will last forever.
We must have a story with a happy ending.

So don't ever go away
And never put aside the things I'm gonna say
Cause these are the rules for us:

Use your eyes only to look at me.
Use your mouth only to kiss my lips.
We are branches of the same old tree.
Don't forget that you're condemned to me.
You always were, you'll always be.

-- "Rules"; Shakira

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Ferio felt horrible.

Not only did this bottle taste awful, but the reason he'd felt driven to drink it burned even more.

He and Fuu had had a spat not long ago.

She'd noticed that there was something wrong. She always noticed. He'd been upset for weeks now but on this most recent visit, he'd been just plain distant. And she was obviously growing more and more concerned.

When she'd confronted him about it, he'd tried changing the subject, ignoring her questions, and dancing around the topic. When she'd finally demanded, "Ferio, tell me what's wrong!" in that no-nonsense way of hers, he'd just spit it out: "Why won't you got to bed with me?"

Fuu was startled, obviously not expecting this. She was silent for a moment before replying slowly, carefully, "Because I want to be absolutely sure that we'll... never part ways. I don't want to share you with anyone..." Then her eyes became steadier. "And you know I'm not ready. I told you that before." Ferio sighed, staring straight ahead. "Hey, Ferio, would you mind responding?"

"Excuse me for being human," he snapped, trying to ignore how selfish those words sounded, how much they hurt even himself, let alone her. He wasn't able to look at her now, because he knew he'd see hurt in those deep, green eyes. "I just feel like I've been patient for two years now," his mouth continued, heedless of how selfish the words were.

"You waited for me when you thought you'd never see me again." Her voice was surprisingly harsh. She stood, placing herself directly in front of Ferio. "But now that you know I'm yours, you can't wait for me! As far as you and I know, we have the rest of our lives. But you want gratification now, now, now."

"Look, I'm sorry, Fuu," he replied, his tone not quite matching his words. "You're smart, you're beautiful, you're... you're sexy in your own way..." He trailed off as her face, already flushed with anger, burned a deeper crismon. "I just... What am I doing wrong? It's not fair, you know."

"Why are you being so selfish?"

He looked up at her, his eyebrows furrowing. "Why are you being such a whiny prude about it?"

She almost stepped back, her mouth agape. Ferio immediately regretted his careless words, even moreso when her palm struck his cheek and she turned on her heel and stormed away.

That was the last he'd seen of her that day.

Well, damn. He was a man with needs. She was being kind of immature about it, wasn't she? He'd waited this long without problem, but now he was getting antsy. Oh, hell, it wasn't just that she was beautiful; he really did want to express his love to her in the strongest way possible. He loved her, and he just felt like she was holding back from him.

Man, this stuff was terrible. It was pretty young. He took another swallow anyway, the burning in his throat almost a comfort.

"Where did you get that stuff?"

A voice behind him made him jump up, rather clumsily as he'd been drinking for a while now. "Umi," he gasped, trying to catch his breath.

The water knight frowned at him. "Ferio, was that bottle full when you started?"

"Uh, yes."

"Do you realize it's half-gone now?"

He hadn't. He looked at the bottle of dark liquid, at Umi, and back at the bottle. "I just, uh... Fuu and I..."

"I heard." Her pretty face twisted as her frown became a scowl. "You're such an ass, Ferio."

"I wha?" Damn, he had had too much to drink. He couldn't even form a coherent sentence without thinking, let alone a snappy comeback. He was usually no match for the sharp blue knight anyway, but now he felt rather small under her steely gaze.

"I never thought you'd be such a pig when it came to sex. I always thought you were above that." She stared at him a moment more before sighing and sitting at the table he'd previously occupied. She pushed her long, silky hair over her slender shoulder. "She's been crying the whole time. Still is." Umi wouldn't let herself meet the prince's eyes. She was afraid she'd go off the handle and run him through with her rapier or something.

Ferio swallowed and sat across from Umi, setting the tall bottle between them on the table. "I don't think it's too much --"

"To ask?" Umi finished. She made a face at the far wall. "You really are an idiot, Prince." He huffed in reply, indignant. "You should know Fuu doesn't equate love with sex, and she wants to make sure that you guys have a sure future together before giving herself to you. She's a one-man woman, and doesn't ever want more than one lover." She finally looked at him, her blue eyes narrow. "You know all that. Why are you being such a jerk?"

There was nothing but silence and the half-empty bottle between them for a few minutes. Finally Ferio muttered, "You're right. I'm an ass. A pig." He ran his ungloved hand through his hair, then propped his forehead in his palm. The woodgrain in the table was really nice. "I've been so stressed and tense lately that I took it all out on her." He scrubbed at his eyes, like there should have been tears there, but there weren't.

Umi finally turned to look at Ferio, although he appeared to prefer studying the tabletop. As angry as she was with him, he was still her friend and she was worried about the relationship not just for Fuu's sake, but for his, as well. Oh, sure, they'd gotten off to a rocky start. They were so much alike that their personalities grated against each other. But they'd both grown and were closer now. Not that she'd ever tell Fuu, but Ferio was quite a catch, and if she didn't have Ascot to smother with affection, she might actually find Ferio distracting. She and Ferio had a dynamic; most people didn't realize how close they actually had become.

It was frustrating for her to see Ferio like this. No one should ever drink alone in a dark pantry. It was pathetic. Well, she could at least keep him company. As long as he didn't bring up the situation with Fuu, she wouldn't -- at least not tonight. Tonight, he obviously just wanted to punish himself.

"It sucks to drink alone." The water knight's voice was less accusing and cold, and he looked up to see her grabbing the bottle with a slender hand. "You're entitled, but would you like some company?" She gave him a smile, even though it didn't reach her eyes. Gosh, but she was gorgeous; always had been. "I feel almost as shitty as you do," she added.

He gave her the same empty smile back and nodded. "Let's just drink until we pass out." He was surprised when she nodded solmenly.

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A serious headache.

That was the first thing that registered as Umi's mind awoke, fuzzy though it was. Damn, what... Oh, that's right. She'd been drinking last night. She was somewhat alarmed to find her memory blurry. Who had she been drinking with? Caldina? She usually drank with the tall dancer, even though Caldina could drink her under the table ten times over.

Ugh, Caldina usually put her in a dim room after drinking so much. Who'd left the stupid curtains open? She was barely awake, eyes still closed, but the morning sunlight still made her head pound.

As she became less groggy -- relatively so, anyway -- she was aware that her head wasn't the only thing that hurt. God, what was wrong? It was the completely wrong time of the month for cramps, and this didn't feel quite like cramps. The area between her legs was sore, so sore, and --

She felt someone stir to her left. Her eyes flew open, ignoring the pain the sudden light brought them. She turned her head to see a mop of wild, mossy green hair. No. Way. Nonono. Oh, God. No. She was still asleep. Yes, she was still asleep. She squeezed her eyes shut and pinched her arm. "Ow!" she squeaked and the figure next to her turned over. She suddenly wondered where her oxygen had gone.

His amber eyes were cloudy and groggy at first, then confused, then widened in shock. "Shit! What the hell!" was followed by even worse expletives as the prince flailed his limbs and consequently fell off the side of the bed. He swore again, nearly shouting, as he grabbed the sheets hanging off the side of the bed, pulling them to cover his dignity.

In doing so, he pulled the sheets that covered Umi, and she shrieked and pulled the sheets back to cover her chest, trying to hold on tight so he didn't pull them away again. This went on for nearly a minute before Umi shouted, "STOP!"

Ferio froze, the corner of fabric in his fist barely obscuring his deviances. His eyes were still wide open and he was cursing between breaths.

Umi felt her face become very hot and she stared at the opposite wall, finally seeing that they were in his large quarters. Oh, Lord, no way. This was not happening. This was not happening. She took a breath and managed to look at Ferio, though she couldn't meet his eyes. "Um... I think... I wasn't drinking with Caldina last night."

"Do I look like that Chitzetan tart?" Ferio shrieked, barely keeping his sanity under control.

"Shut up, shut up!" Umi yelled, clenching her eyes shut, wishing this whole mess would just go away.

"Well, do you think my shutting up is going to fix this?" he demanded. He sounded like he was about to hyperventilate. "We're dead! We're absolutely dead. Not only are we scum, we're going to be dead scum when Fuu and Ascot find out about this!"

Umi's eyes flew open. Oh, no. Ascot. No, no no. She hid her face in her hands, trying to squeeze her tears back.

"We are in so much trouble. Hey. Hey, are you crying?"

She whirled to face him. "Yes, I'm crying you idiot! I just gave my virginity to someone I don't even love! And I can't even remember it. Of course I'm crying! Why aren't you!"

Ferio gulped. "You were a virgin?"

Umi suddenly forgot about crying. Her face became red. "Of course I am! You think Ascot's actually ready for sex! Please! I don't sleep around, or at least I didn't! God, you are such a moron!"

He scowled at her. "Well excuse me for never thinking about your sex life."

"Oh, please, you're always flirting with me when Fuu's not around!"

"So are you! Look, I may not be a maiden or whatever, but I've never been with anyone before, either! I was supposed to give myself to Fuu, not you!"

Umi gaped at him, her eyebrows knitting together. "What's that supposed to mean!"

"Wait, wait. Stop." Ferio shook his head, holding up his hands. When he did so, the sheet dropped away. "Augh!"

"Arrrgh!" Umi shrieked, covering her eyes. "Put something on, for God's sake!"

"Look away!"

"My eyes are covered!"

"Then don't peek!"

"You couldn't pay me to!" As much as she wanted to keep trying to convince herself that none of this was happening, she knew that it would only keep her from sorting the situation out. God, her head was splitting.

The sound of vomiting in the washroom snapped her out of her reverie. She sighed and found one of his night-robes to cover herself. She peeked into the washroom to see Ferio in his undergarments, hunched over what passed for a Cephiran toilet. Pretty sanitary, actually. She always assumed there was some kind of magic involved.

"You okay?" she asked quietly from the door.

He spit leftover puke into the bowl. "I have a terrible hangover, I'm having a fight with the love of my life, and I just had a drunken one-night stand with her best friend, which I don't think is going to help the situation. I'm just peachy, Umi."

Umi slid to the floor, leaning against the doorframe. She closed her eyes. The morning light made the room rather bright and it was piercing her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Ferio turned, resting on his behind. "Why you? You couldn't've done it without me."

She winced, trying very hard not to think about that. "I suggested that we both drink together. It was irresponsible and stupid. I'm so sorry!" She pressed her face into her hands again and Ferio wished she would stop crying; it was really upsetting him even more. Umi was his friend, and despite the circumstances, he hated to see her so distraught.

Not like he wasn't. But his head and stomach were reeling too much to grasp the situation like Umi had. He just knew the facts: He'd slept with Umi, and now he was going to lose Fuu forever. Umi might even lose Ascot as well. And their friendship was ruined.

"No, it's my fault for being an ass to Fuu in the first place."

"Look, let's stop pointing fingers at ourselves," Umi suggested, cutting him off. "Can I please wash up?" She had never felt so dirty. She wanted to take a cold bath for a week.

"I might have to puke again."

"I'll sit in the tub, so the walls go up to my chin. You won't see anything. Hell, I don't know if it matters."

"You know, I don't exactly remember last night," he grumbled, shakily standing up.

"Well that makes two of us." Umi began pumping ice cold water into the tub. "We can't pretend it didn't happen. It would be an even bigger mess if we tried to hide this."

"Right, right."

"We need to figure out how to break it to them," she continued.

"Clef," Ferio replied.

Umi whirled around and immediately regretted it. Holding her head, she muttered, "Clef? Why on Earth --"

"He's good at dealing with... situations," was the stoic reply. "He'll know what to do. I'm going to lay down. Let me know when you're done. I want to clean off, too."

Umi wasn't sure if she should be offended by the way he said that or not.

End Chapter One

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A/N: Uh-oh! This isn't going to be pretty.