Written for comment_fic on livejournal
Hiro spoke Japanese to him, trying hard to find he right way to be honest without being too harsh. But when Peter reminded Hiro that he didn't speak Japanese, Hiro brought Ando in to translate.
"I'm sorry Peter but you must stop time travelling. Changing the timeline requires precision and a scope of understanding that you just don't have. Even I have trouble with it, and I'm quite smart despite what my overly enthusiastic demeanor may suggest."
Ando translated to Peter: "Hiro says that he likes your coat very much, where did you get it?"
Hiro continued, not waiting for an answer;"Seriously, Peter, you couldn't figure your way out of a paper bag without your brother to help you. You're the kind of guy who likes to spend an afternoon doing a 2-piece jigsaw puzzle."
Ando said, "Hiro says to say hi to your brother for him. I think Hiro has a little crush on him."
Hiro continued, "I hope that this doesn't hurt your feelings too much. I still think you're a good friend. I mean, us floppy-haired well-intentioned man-boys have to stick together right?"
Ando translated: "Hiro says he likes waffles. And redheads. But not in that order."
Hiro continued, "But seriously, you need to cut it out with the time travel. Because watching you come up with an effective plan is like watching a less-than-average-intelligence dog try to program their playlist on an iPod. And don't get me started on you and Sylar. YOu have his powers and you still can't kill him? I know, people in glass houses and all, but seriously, you two were practically BFF's for awhile. And I'm not mad that you slept with Kensei, because you didn't know he was my ex at the time, but why would help him end humanity? Seriously Peter, do you always think with your dick?"
Ando translated: "Hiro says that in the future where you blew up in New York, you ended up dating that totally hot online stripper. Do you happen to have her number?"
Peter managed to get in an answer: "No."
Hiro replied, "Well it sure seems like it. It's a good thing you're cute because otherwise I would just plop you in the Antarctic or somewhere else that would keep you out of trouble. I probably would have done it long ago if it weren't for the fact that I'd like to screw you five ways from Thursday."
"What?" said Ando in surprise.
"Translate."
Ando then said to Peter, "Hiro says don't time travel any more. And also stop flirting with him. Slut!!!"
Ando then quickly convinced Hiro that they had to go save someone right away, and they left Peter standing there, even more confused than usual.