I don't really know what to think of this. I'm working on Secrets Can Not Be Kept, I swear! But I wrote this a while ago and... I don't know. It's stupid of me to have two stories going, but there I go, being stupid again. The other characters from the show will come in later. Sorry for typos/grammatical errors and feel free to point them out.
Okay. Sorry about my incessant rambling. I hope you like it. R&R please?
WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT. I don't think it's very graphic, but if you're triggered do not read, please. Or just skip the third section because you know what happens.
"You can't die, Blaine. You can't!" Kurt cries, tears filling his eyes.
"Baby, I'm sorry. I have to."
"Daddy, I don't want you to go." Audrey whispers. Blaine raises a shaking, frail hand to take hers.
"Audrey, it's not my choice, honey. I need you to promise me something." Audrey looks into her father's pleading eyes.
"Promise me you'll keep living your life. Don't forget about me, but move on. You swear?" Audrey traces an x across her heart with a small finger.
"Cross my heart and hope to die." Blaine bites his lip to prevent himself from laughing. Laughing hurts, and he knows he shouldn't. Audrey, on the other hand is horrified.
"Oh my god, Daddy, I'm so sorry!" Blaine can't help it; a chuckle escapes his lips. Audrey giggles a bit too, but when she looks over at her Papa, she immediately sobers up. Silent tears are running down her Papa's cheeks, dripping on to the shiny hospital floor. He doesn't say a word; he just takes his husband's hand. They are all silent for a moment; then,
"Please, Blaine. We can try something else. We can go to different hospitals, get more-"
"Kurt." His husband interrupts gently, and his daughter squirms, feeling as though she's interrupting a private moment. "We've talked about this. More treatments and trying to keep me alive longer will just make all of us miserable." A sob breaks from Kurt's throat. Blaine's voice shakes as his eyes close,
"I love you guys so much..."
"I love you too, Daddy."
"I love you more than anything in the world, Blaine." Are said at the same time. Blaine's head tilts to the side and... beeeeeeeepppp... At the sound, Kurt's eyes widen as he stares at the flatline on the heart monitor. And then a loud, high pitched, broken scream rips from his throat. He falls to the floor, still screaming. And his little daughter watches in horror. Eventually, they have to sedate him, because he just won't stop. Audrey is frozen, terrified as she watches her father fall apart in front of her, and her other father be covered with a blanket and be wheeled away. The situation suddenly hits her and she chases the men with the bed.
"No!" Audrey yells at them. "Give me back my Daddy! I need him! Aren't you supposed to fix him? Give him back!" But the men ignore her and keep on pushing the bed; they are probably used to it, their hearts full of stone from all of the pain they have seen inflicted by deaths in this hospital. Suddenly her father's screams stop, and she knows he has passed out. After all she saw the doctors and nurses stick a needle into him. Somehow she knew it wasn't like the IV's that had kept her daddy alive as long as he was.
He is in the hospital for a few more days, and every time he wakes he becomes hysterical, reality hitting him over and over again. His daughter never crosses his mind.
Meanwhile, Audrey stays with her Uncle Finn. Her Uncle had been laid off, a couple of months ago, however, so he was just barely making enough money to feed himself and pay for the hotel room of which he must stay. It is strange for Audrey, who has always had money. It did, however, give her an appreciation for her life, and she vowed when she got back, she would be grateful for everything she had. When she asked Finn why her daddies didn't help him, Finn replied tightly,
"Kurt doesn't like me. Something happened between us. Blaine used to bring me money sometimes behind Kurt's back." Audrey, age eight, did not really understand this, and was shocked that her Papa, who seemed so forgiving and caring and loved helped people, refused to give money to his brother when she knew they had plenty of money to spare. Well, she realized it now. Though her Uncle Finn was constantly exhausted and most days she was hungry, as was he, she loved her Uncle Finn and was furious with her Papa for not helping him and not introducing them sooner, or even informing her he existed. If I had known about Uncle Finn, she thinks, I would have made Papa help him.
At night though, though she is now grateful for the material things she has, she cries herself to sleep, because who wouldn't when their daddy died? She would remember all of the things they did together, how before he got sick, they would play pranks on he Papa, and how all three of them would sing together, all the time. Her Daddy told her she had a beautiful, lovely voice, which made her very happy because her Daddy had the best voice she'd ever heard. She wondered when he Papa would be back. She wanted her Papa back, from the hospital, almost as much as she wanted her Daddy back from Heaven. Well, Daddy had said you go to Heaven. When she had asked her Papa about it, he'd replied tightly, "I don't believe in a Heaven, or a god. But it is your decision to make." She hated it when her Papa got like that, all strict-sounding and mean-like.
It is late at night, two weeks after her Daddy's death, when there is a knock on the door. Audrey sits up in her bed, looking over to the alarm clock beside the large bed her and her uncle shared. It was late, really late, past midnight! The only time Audrey had ever been up later than ten at night was when she tried to stay up for New Year's Eve and failed, falling asleep around ten-thirty. Who's at the door this late? Her Uncle Finn looks really tired, so she decides to go over and open the door, even though she's not supposed to. She's short for her age, so she has to reach up a bit to pull down the handle to open the door. But she does it, and the door swings open. She smiles wide when she sees who it is,
"Papa!" She shrieks, forgetting about Uncle Finn. Said Uncle stirs.
"Audrey?" He mumbles.
"Sorry, Uncle Finn! You could go back to sleep." But Finn is sitting up already, still half asleep but mostly aware.
"Rey, who's at the door?" He asks, rubbing his eyes and finally opening them. He gasps in shock when he sees the figure in the doorframe.
"Kurt." He says, his tone guarded.
"Finn." The man, paler than usual with dark circles under his eyes and his usual perfect hair a mess, is short towards his brother and has yet to say a word to the child who was so excited to see him.
"Papa!" She says again, tugging on his sleeve. Finn narrows his eyes.
"Are you going to say hello to your child, Kurt?" Kurt finally glances down.
"Hello, Audrey." He says, his voice hard, and his daughter's smile slips away.
"Um, Papa," She says nervously. "I- I met Uncle Finn. He's real n-nice." Her father frowns.
"So you think." He snaps. "Get packed and to the car. Let's go."
"What? It's so late, Papa, and I was hoping when you picked me up you could bring me and Uncle Finn out for ice cream." She's fantasized about it, actually. She could imagine her and her Uncle and her Papa sitting together at a table eating ice cream cones… and maybe her Daddy too, but that was her secret.
"Yeah, well, things don't always turn out how we want them too, now do they?" Audrey frowns and furrows her brows. She doesn't like this new version of her Papa, not one bit.
"Papa, what happened to you?" She whispers.
"Life." The man snaps. "Now hurry up." He steps into the apartment, pointedly keeping his eyes away from Finn. The little girl goes over to the drawer her Uncle had cleared out for her, and grabs the clothes she had bought (well, that the hospital had packed for her) and puts them in her backpack, along with her toothbrush, toothpaste, and hairbrush. Her eyes cloud up with tears. It was supposed to be happy when he Papa came to pick her up…. now she was just scared. She puts the backpack on and tries to wipe away her tears. Kurt attempts to lead her out, but she runs over to her Uncle Finn, who is now standing. She hugs him and he picks her up and whispers in her ear,
"I love you, Audrey. I've loved you since the day I found out you existed. I promise, I'll see you again if it kills me."
"I'll miss you, Uncle Finn." She breathes almost incoherently into his shoulder. The man had been very nice to her, and she realized that he didn't have to take care of her, but chose to, even though her Papa and him didn't get along. He always gave her extra food even though he was hungry, too. Even though he never heard her crying, when he saw her upset he always tried to help. Finally Finn puts her down and ruffles her hair.
"Be good for your Papa, alright?" Audrey smiles sadly.
"Cross my heart and hope to die." She says, mimicking the action on her chest. Kurt's eyes fill with tears but neither of the other occupants in the room notice. He grits his teeth and grabs his daughter's hand.
"Goodbye, Finn." He says stonily.
"Goodbye, Kurt." Finn's voice is not harsh; it is soft and caring. "I really miss you, and love you, despite the mistakes we've both made, you know."
"Yeah, well." Kurt says, his voice contrasting in an angry, curt tone. "Get over it." With that he pulls Audrey out of the room, and they go out to Kurt's car, getting in, and driving away.
Audrey is up late tonight, the night after they'd gotten home. Even later than it had been when her daddy came to pick her up! She looks over at her clock next to her bed: 1:27. AM. She can't sleep. The bed feels eerily empty and cold without Uncle Finn beside her. And before Daddy's death, his loud snores would echo the house. Finn's were the same, so since she was a young child, she had gone to sleep with the normally disruptive lullaby. But tonight, tonight is strangely quiet. Well, a while ago she's heard a sound like something shuffling around from the direction of her father's room, but it was nothing. Just wind. Right? She feels a bit scared, and even though admittedly her Daddy had frightened her lately, he would be nice if she was scared, right? Daddy would let her sleep with them when she had nightmares.
So tonight she pads down the hallway to her Papa's room. A strange sense of foreboding is creeping up on her as she walks closer and closer to her father's room. The sound of her footsteps seems to be magnified with each step closer. Why is her heart pounding so loud in her chest? It suddenly is louder than the echoing of her small feet on the feels like she's in the movies, like that really scary one her Daddy yelled at her for watching and she'd had nightmares for weeks because of it. The little girl bites the fingernails of her right hand, and raises the left to hover right before the door. She hesitates for a moment, but then realizes, He's probably just sleeping. You're being stupid. So she opens the door without knocking and her eyes widen to the size of saucers.
"P-P-Papa?" She stutters. The man has a crazed look in his eyes. He's dressed to the nines, even better than usual. Well, She thinks, Better than before Daddy died. because that day and the day before he had been uncharacteristically dressed in wrinkled jeans and a black tee shirt, of which she hadn't seen him out of until now. The man's face is paler than normal, lips parted a bit, and the bright, dangerous eyes, now swirling with blues and greens and greys, are fixated on his daughter. It's frightening, but the worst part of it is a shaking arm holding a small gun to his forehead. Audrey begins to tremble herself, out of terror.
"Papa." Her father stares at her with those swirling, psychotic, unblinking eyes. "What are you doing?" She can hear her voice quivering with her body.
"Get out of here, Audrey." Kurt warns, his voice shaky as well but low and menacing and quiet. "Get out." The girl sees his grip on the gun tighten, so very tight his knuckles begin to turn white.
"Papa." Audrey repeats, her voice so credulous that he will listen, but with a maturity and anger that one so young should not even yet understand, as a supposedly so innocent and naïve child. She demands of her father, firmly but pleading. "Put the gun down." She does not know what he will do, but with it pressed to his temple, she knows he does not plan on shooting anyone else, or going to shoot targets for fun."
"Audrey, get out."
"Put it down." She is becoming more desperate as it dawns on her, the only thing he could be doing.
"Get out." It appears to be the ply thing he can say. He pushes his finger slowly down on the trigger. Audrey gasps and runs as quickly as she can-
BAM! The gunshot rings throughout the room and there is a man bleeding on the floor from a gasp on his head and a little girl lying on top of him. The child, almost hysterical, has a thought: I know! Daddy always said, if someone is in trouble, or if there is someone we don't want in the house… call a special number! This is definitely trouble… now what's the number? Her whole body is trembling now, but she takes no notice. She rushes to the phone and dials: 9-1-1.
"Hello?"
"Hello? My Papa, my Papa, he had a gun and he wouldn't let go and I tried and-"
"Honey, calm down." The woman on the end has a kind voice, but she speaks quickly and urgently. "I need you to tell me what your Daddy did and-"
"He's not my Daddy, he's my Papa, my Daddy's dead-" She looks over to her Papa. "And now my Papa's prob'ly dead too!"
"It's okay, it's okay, sweetie." It's only then the girl realizes she's sobbing. "I need your address, okay?"
"D-don't call me t-that, t-that's what my D-Daddy-" The woman interrupts, for good reason. There is, after all, an emergency at hand.
"I need your address, okay?" She repeats. Audrey scavenges rapidly in her memory for the address.
"I-I got it!" She then tell the woman her address.
"Alright honey, we'll be right there. What's your name?"
"Au-Audrey. Au-Audrey H-Hummel Anderson. Wait! P-please don't h-hang up!" And they are on the phone until there are sirens outside and the police knocks down the door and there's a gurney wheeled in and some person she doesn't know picks her up and carries her somewhere she can't make out because she's so very tired, and she's vaguely aware of her eyes closing, but she's asleep before she can even try to open them up again.