I don't think I'll ever break through, the ghost of you...
It's been five years.
Five years since he's held her in his arms. Five years since she looked into his eyes and felt as if she were lost in a wonderful daydream. Five years since she's felt his warmth. Five years since she was separated from love.
She doesn't know how she can bare it.
Memories of him haunt her every hour, every minute, every second. It kills her, stabbing her with those cruel memories. She tries to run away from them, run somewhere that he's not, but it's impossible.
The sky, such a heavenly blue. All it does is remind her of him..
The sun, such a golden beauty. All it does is remind her of him.
But worst of all? The couples. People in love. They remind her of them. Of what they used to be. In love. Together.
He's everywhere, but the one place he should be.
With her.
I'm missing you so much, can't help that I'm in love. A day without you is like a year without rain...
It's his fault, anyway.
Breaking her heart, shattering it into a million pieces.
How could he have lured her in with his charm, make her fall deeply in love with him, only for her to find out...
It's all a lie.
Every kiss, every touch, every word of love, a lie.
It was all for publicity.
And he even admitted it.
"It was all..." Sonny choked out, feeling as if all the air in her lungs had given out. She couldn't form the words that were trying to come out, but he understood anyway.
"Yes," he confirmed. "They told me that I should ask you out, because it was supposed to help my publicity. And you know what I say," he paused, letting a smile grow on his face. "Publicity is always good."
Sonny stood, shell shocked. How could he be joking around? Didn't he realize that she was dying inside, every piece of her slowly crumbling away?
"How..." she asked. "How could you do that to me?"
He shrugged. "I'm sorry, Sonny. I had to do it."
Tears threatened to overflow, but Sonny composed herself. She was not giving this jerk satisfaction.
"Well..." she said, trying not to let the tears spill. "I guess we're done here."
With complete seriousness, he turned to her and replied. "I guess we are."
She bit her lip, knowing she had to end this before she broke down. "Fine."
"Fine," he replied, stone-faced.
"Good." Atleast she could get rid of him now.
"Good." Did he really not mind?
"Fine!" she cried, before turning around and running away into the dark night.
Sonny wiped the tears on her face, which caused her to break into more sobs. How could she still cry over him?
He still had his job. He was successful. Everyday, people would talk about how amazing Chad Dylan Cooper was.
And then he had a girlfriend, too. This caused more wails and cries.
But it was time to move on. He might be a haunting memory she could never get rid of, but it was time for him to go.
One of these days I'll wake up from this, bad dream I'm dreaming. One of these days I'll pray that I'll be over, over, over you.
"Boyfriend?" Tawni repeated, shocked.
Sonny smiled slightly. "Yes. James asked me out."
"But, Sonny, he's a-"
Sonny sighed. "Jerk. I know. But he's gotten really sweet and I trust him."
Tawni stared at her in utter bewilderment. "Sonny, this is not right. I know you're only doing this for one reason."
Sonny turned to her, her light brown eyes quizzical.
"Chad Dylan Cooper."
It was as if Tawni had just punched her in the heart. Sonny gasped, feeling all the pain overwhelm her again. "No..." she choked.
"Yes," Tawni corrected. "You're trying to get over him by going out with him. Your lips might say you want to go out with James, but your eyes speak the truth. You still love him."
Sonny shook her head, trying to believe this was all nonsense. "Tawni, you got this all-"
"Yeah, I know you're going to deny it," Tawni said, packing up her purse. "Have fun with James," she said, turning to the door.
Before turning the knob, she turned back. "Oh, and Sonny?"
Sonny looked to her.
"The day you get over Chad," Tawni said, opening the door and stepping outside. "Will be the day he comes back to you."
And without another word, Tawni Hart left the apartment, leaving a shocked and speechless Sonny.
Is it true?
Why am I lying to myself?
Sonny knew it, she knew it deep down inside. Chad's memory was still there. And it refused to leave.
She threw herself on her bed in despair. Sobbing into her pillow, the memories of Chad came to her.
Chad smiled, and slowly strode over to Sonny. They were so close she could feel his breath, and he could hear hers rapidly gasping. Grinning from ear to ear, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips.
Sonny's eyes widened. And before she knew it, he was holding her face in his hands. She gazed into his blue eyes and for the first time ever, let herself get lost in them.
"Sonny Monroe," he whispered, leaning closer to her. "I love you."
They say what comes up must come down, so please don't let me fall.
It's been two years.
She hasn't thought about him at all. Her dreams have been quiet from him, and Chad Dylan Cooper's memory haunted her no more.
She was very happy with her boyfriend. Her career was taking off. And she had been as happy as she was almost ten years ago.
Life was good.
That's when things turned worse.
It was a quiet day. Sonny had woken up, eaten her breakfast, and had relaxed on the couch with a movie marathon. James was on vacation with some friends, and Tawni was filming for her new movie.
She was alone. But she didn't mind. It might not seem like it, but Sonny loved being alone. There, she could think freely. Though she loved talking, all she wanted to do sometimes was just ponder over thoughts.
As she plopped the little cookie in her mouth, it reminded her of the time when she helped Zora with her cookie sale. The memory made her laugh. When she realized why she laughed, she froze. Before thinking about it a minute longer, she turned her attention entirely to the TV. Eventually, she fell asleep.
About an hour later, there was a knock on the door. Sonny's eyes opened immediately. Slowly rising from the couch, she wondered who would be coming to visit her now. She turned the handle of the door and opened it.
Since she had just woken up, she wasn't wearing her contacts. She couldn't see well, so she couldn't exactly make out who was at the door.
Rubbing her eyes, she sleepily said, "Hello..."
She might not have her contacts in, and she might only see a little, but there was no doubt in her mind who this person was. A gasp escaped her lips.
The man smiled. "Hey Sonny," he greeted, blue eyes sparkling.
Sonny's eyes widened so much they resembled the eyes of a bug. She felt herself starting to sweat, and her body was shaking. She couldn't say anything for her mind was plagued with the words Tawni had told her two years ago.
The day you get over Chad, will be the day he comes back to you.
"Is this a bad time?" Chad asked, hesitantly.
Sonny composed herself, trying to regain her senses.
"I could come back," Chad suggested.
"No!" Sonny suddenly cried. "I mean, no, it's okay. Wh-what are you doing here?"
Chad pursed, trying to figure out what to say. "I...just wanted to see you."
Her big brown eyes rounded even more. "You wanted to see me?"
A sheepish look came on his face. "Well...I think I need to apologize."
After those words, Sonny regained her senses. She suddenly noticed the bouquet of roses in his hands. Realization dawned on her. Those were the roses he had when he asked her out.
Sonny crossed her arms in anticipation, and drilled her eyes into his. "I'm listening."
Chad sighed. "I'm sorry for everything. For asking you out cause my agent made me, for using you the whole time for publicity, for everything. You have no idea how sorry I am." A look of utter despair crossed his face. Sonny thought he almost looked pathetic.
She pursed. "It's okay, Chad."
"No," he stated. "It's not okay. At all. What I did was mean, jerk-like, conceited, completely uncalled for, heinous, rude, deceiving-"
"Chad," Sonny stopped him. "I know."
"The thing is..." Chad said, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I..."
"You?" Sonny questioned.
He turned to her, and faced her with complete sincerity. Taking a few steps closer, he leaned in and kissed her. Sonny gasped, and quickly pulled away.
"What the heck?" she asked, shocked.
"I'm sorry!" Chad cried. "I was just...I...I really missed you, Sonny."
She tried to speak up, but he shushed her.
"No, I need to tell you something." He exhaled, as if preparing for a match. Looking her straight in the eyes, he continued. "Sonny, there was something I didn't tell you the day we...went separate ways."
Sonny gulped, trying not to concentrate on the intensity and proximity of his face. "What's that?"
"I love you," he whispered, leaning away from her. "I always have." He stepped outside of the apartment, but looked back one second.
"I always will."
What just happened?
Sonny couldn't believe it was true. She must have been dreaming. She was sleeping before wasn't she? It makes sense!
Looking back though, she knew it was real.
"Arghhh!" she groaned, throwing her pillow against the wall.
So if everything that just happened was true, it meant only one thing:
Chad loved her.
The thought made her heart flutter. It reminded her of the days before all this when they were a young happy couple in love. But she shook it off.
She couldn't trust him. She just couldn't.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Sonny sighed, and went up to receive it. There, was a man holding a big bag.
"Sonny Monroe?" he asked, handing her the bag.
"That's me." She received the bag. "Who's it from?"
The man shrugged. "Some guy out there. He just told me to give this to you immediately."
She thanked the man, and he left. Sonny sat on her couch and opened the package. Slowly ripping away each piece, she looked at the item inside and gasped.
It was a basket full of many things. Photos, letters, pictures, emails, flowers, cookies, and a big heart. She grabbed the red heart and saw an inscription on it.
I've been keeping this all these years. It helps me remind myself that we actually used to be together. I miss you so much, Sonny. I hope one day you could forgive me. Love, Chad.
Sonny took the photos out and a smile grew on her face. There was pictures of them on their dates, silly pictures they had taken of themselves, pictures of their casts together, but the last one caught Sonny's eyes.
It was set at the beach in the evening. It was a beautiful scenery, and Sonny and Chad were standing on the sand, holding each other. They were gazing at each others eyes. They both had huge smiles on their faces. A tear dropped down Sonny's cheek.
She spent the whole night looking at every memory. All the emails they sent each other, the picture she had made him, and the roses from their first date. He even remembered that she love chocolate chip cookies.
Hot tears glistened in her eyes. She couldn't believe that he had kept this all these years...
Her heart pounded rapidly, and she felt something she hadn't felt in almost three years.
Love.
How did you get here under my skin? I swore that I'd never let you back in.
She couldn't let this happen again. No.
He'd break her heart, and leave her again. He's just lying, like the jerk he is. It's probably some other publicity stunt. All those memories? Psh. Probably just dug them out of the trash.
But what if he really did love her? What if he sincerely wanted to be with her? What if he actually kept all those memories with him all these years?
Sonny smacked her head. Get a hold of yourself.
The phone rang, but Sonny didn't have the energy to get up and answer. She waited for it to go to answering machine.
Eventually the voice of a young man came:
Hey, uh, Sonny? Yeah, um, it's Chad. Listen, I was just wondering if you would like to come to dinner with me tonight...? I mean, you don't have to, it's completely up to you. Seriously, if you don't just totally ignore this message. I'm cool, I'm cool... Okay, but if you do want to come, don't hesitate! I'll be waiting! But, uh, not too long.. Ya know, maybe an hour..? Okay, whatever. Sonny, come to dinner with me tonight at that sushi place we always used to go to. Like old times? Please? And if you don't want to, it's cool... Um, yeah, and, uh, this isn't Chad. It's Chaz, by the way. I'm just taking the message for him cause he's out doing much more important stuff as Chad Dylan Cooper. Not sounding like an... Okay, Sonny, just please come tonight? And this really is Chad. Alright, I'm gonna go. See ya tonight. Unless you don't want to...
Sonny burst into laughter at the message. That was exactly what Chad used to do a lot. The memory made her laugh for ages.
Maybe he does love me, she thought. Sure sounds like it.
With a smile on her face, and a good feeling, she went upstairs to get ready for tonight.
It may seem all fine and dandy, but man, you ain't seen nothin...
"May I take your order?"
Sonny jumped up, startled. "Oh, uh, yes. I'll just have what he's having."
The waiter smiled. "As you wish, my dear." And he left to the kitchen.
Chad grinned. "So...how are you doing, Sonny?"
Sonny smiled, slightly. "Pretty good, I suppose."
The "dinner" was going pretty well. She had met Chad promptly, and was ready for dinner. His face had lit up so much, Sonny's heart did a huge backflip. He hadn't acted like a jerk at all.
"Yeah.." Chad muttered. "So, um, like I said I..."
Sonny raised her eyebrows. "Yes?"
His eyes widened for a moment, but he composed himself. "Yes, well, Sonny. I love you, as you know now... I miss us. And I hate how I had to get someone to tell me to ask you out for me to get the guts to do it. And it would mean the world to me if you agreed."
Sonny froze. What would she do? Could she really trust him?"
"Order's up!" the waiter announced, bring the food.
Chad thanked him, and Sonny sighed in relief. More time to spare.
They ate hungrily for a few minutes in silence. Sonny felt uncomfortable with all this quiet. Usually, she and Chad could talk for hours about anything. This wasn't the same.
As Sonny looked at Chad, a realization dawned on her. The reason Chad was so silent, and acting so kindly, was so he could impress her. Sonny remembered how she would always complain about what a jerk he is and how he needed to shape up. He'd usually joke about it, and they'd end up laughing.
She didn't like this Chad. His jerkiness could get really bad sometimes, but it was something she loved about him.
And she knew exactly what she needed to do.
"Chad," she started. "Don't you realize what's happening?"
He looked around, confused. "Uhh...no?"
"You're not acting like yourself!" she cried. "Acting so kind and all. I know you think it'll impress me but one of the reason I fell in love with you was because you were a jerk. And you didn't know that."
Chad pursed. "What do you mean?"
"We need time."
His face fell, eyes saddening with grief.
"Don't take it the wrong way!" Sonny said. "I love you, miss you, and really want to be with you. But we need to fully recover over this and start over."
Chad said nothing, just staring down at his plate.
Sonny leaned over, and picked his head up to where he was staring her in the eye. "Hey," she whispered. "I really do love you. But you hurt me."
Suddenly, Chad rose from his seat, angrily. He glared at the mirror next to their table. "I'm such an idiot. Why couldn't I have just-"
"Chad!" Sonny stood up to him and shook his shoulders. "It's okay. Seriously. But we can't be together."
"Someday?" Chad asked, hopefully.
Sonny grinned. "Maybe."
He crushed her into a hug, startling her.
"Whoa!" she cried. "Easy there. Friends, remember?"
Chad laughed. "Friends."
For the rest of the night, they laughed together like old friends and talked just like the old times. By the end of the night, Sonny was beginning to regret her decision.
At around midnight, Chad was driving her home. He parked in front of the apartment building, and walked her upstairs.
When they got to her room, she smiled. "Tonight was great, Chad."
His eyes lit up. "It was. Goodnight, Sonny."
"Goodnight, Chad."
I love you...
The sun's rays woke her up at the crack of noon. She slowly arose, getting out of bed. Remembering last night, she sighed. Maybe she should have just let them be what they were...
A sudden light shone on a little piece of paper on her window. Sonny raised her eyebrows and looked closer. It was a note. She squinted her eyes and read it.
You know that place between sleep and awake, where you can remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting.
Sonny smiled.