They met before he joined the club, back when he was a junkie. Years later, the only difference is he's clean. She isn't. They used to shoot up together. Now she does it alone, and she resents him for it. She hates that she feels left alone, and she hates looking like the bad guy when she hounds Kozik, who finally has a steady source of income, for some money.
She wasn't capable of lying to him. She wasn't that creative, and he always had a way of finding out the truth. So if she needed money from him she had to tell him half the truth. Like if they got the bills in the mail, she'd tell him she'd need money to pay them off. Or she'll tell him that she needs money for groceries. They were separated at the time, Kozik staying at the clubhouse. So it gave her an excuse to see him. She likes this method because it doesn't weigh as heavily on her conscience. That, and he always gives her the money, even though he knows what she's really going to spend it on. So when she came to the clubhouse like usual, their exchange played out like a bad habit:
"Kozik, I need to talk to you about something," she said, interrupting his game of pool with the guys.
He looked up at her as he was making his shot, making the ball miss the pocket. "Yeah, sure," he said.
He handed his cue to one of his brothers and told them he'd be right back, then led her outside away from spectating eyes, just in case she lost her temper. When they made it outside the clubhouse he turned to her and asked, "What is it?"
She crossed her arms over her chest and started shifting uncomfortably. "I need some money," she said.
He sighed. "What is it this time?"
"I got a late notice for our water bill. Water's going to be turned off if we don't pay it soon."
"Paula, I thought you payed that," he groaned.
"No, that was the electric bill."
"No, you came to me last month, telling me you needed money for the water bill," he said, getting frustrated.
"Don't make this into a thing, Kozik. Just give me the damn money," she said sharply, giving him a harsh look.
He knew that he should have given her the back of his hand for talking to him with that attitude. The club life encourages putting women in their place. But for some reason he was never able to do that to her. Probably because he sees how broken she already is.
He stared her down for a moment before he finally said, "How much do you need?"
"One hundred fifty."
He took out his wallet with a sigh and dug out his debit card. "You know the drill: if I check the account and find out you took out more than 150 you're in trouble."
"I know," she said sheepishly.
"Also, I'm going out to California next week on a run. I mean it, don't tell me you're spending my money on something and then spend it on something else. Do not do anything stupid while I'm away," he forbode.
"Kozik, I'm not going to do anything," she said, exasperated.
"Okay," he said in a gentler tone.
When he was handing her the card he pulled it back just before her fingers could touch it. She gave him a sharp look. He grinned. "Give me a kiss," he said.
She gave him a small smile before stepping before him and standing on her tiptoes, planting a long, soft kiss on his lips. When she pulled away, he stopped her, putting his hand on the back of her neck. He rubbed his fingers against the dirty blonde hair that draped itself around her neck, and looked into those hazel eyes of hers. Then he kissed her again, and she could feel how much he loved her in that kiss. And she felt guilty again. When he pulled away he said, "You be careful, all right?" His tone wasn't forboding, but concerned.
"Yeah, okay," she said softly.
As they pulled apart from each other he gave her the card. She awkwardly said her thanks before turning and walking to her car. As he watched her get into her car and drive away, he knew what was going to happen. He knew she wasn't going to pay the water bill. He knew she was going to go to an ATM and take out money for drugs. If he had half a mind he wouldn't give her access to his accounts. But he couldn't say no to her. He was afraid that if he said no to her then she'd go find someone who would say yes. That was his downfall. He knew it was stupid, but she became his new drug. He didn't want to let her go.
A week and a half later when he came back from his run, he went back to the house to check on her. He suspected that she would either be high or passed out. He searched the house, but couldn't find her until he reached the bathroom. The door was left open ajar. He opened the door as he called for her, "Paula, are you in here?" Upon entering the bathroom he found her in the bathtub. Her eyes were closed and her head rested limply on her left shoulder. Her body slouched in the water. She must have been taking a bath when she passed out.
"Paula?" Kozik called out to her. She looked so still. Almost lifeless. "Paula?!"
He took her chin in one hand and lightly tapped on her cheek with the other. "Baby?" He grabbed her other shoulder and shook it. "Paula!" Getting no response from her, he cursed, then stepped into the tub, being careful not to step on her. Then he grabbed both of her wrists and pulled her body up.
"Ow!" she wailed.
He looked at her surprised and shocked. His heart was racing and he could still feel the adrenaline pounding in his ears. With heavy breath, he stared at her with wide eyes. He couldn't find his voice to speak, so she spoke first:
"What are you doing?!"
When he finally had his breathing in check he said, "You're okay?"
"Uh, yeah," she said as if it was the most obvious answer.
"I thought you were dead," he said.
"What?" she said as if that were a silly idea. "No, I must have just fallen asleep or something."
"Who falls asleep while taking a bath?!" he yelled at her.
He removed himself from the tub on shaky legs then sat down with his back against it. He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to regain some composure. Later on when he looked back on this in retrospect, he felt ridiculous. He could handle bullets whizzing past his ears, no problem. But the very thought of his woman dead turned him into a shivering coward.
After a few moments of silence he said, "I can't do this anymore, Paula."
"What do you mean?" she asked nervously.
"I mean I can't do this with you anymore. Either you get help or I'm gone. I can't fucking do this anymore. It's time you choose which you love more: me or the crank. Think about it then get back to me with your answer."
Then with that said, he stood and left, leaving her with nothing but her thoughts, guilt, and dirty bath water.
He was working in the garage when he saw her pull up in her car. They made quick eye contact before she made her way over to a picnic table near the clubhouse to sit and wait for him. He rubbed his hands on a rag before he made his way over to her.
Taking a seat next to her, he said, "It hasn't even been a whole day yet. Are you sure you made your decision?"
"Yes, Kozik. I didn't even need to think about it," she said as she looked at her hands.
"What's your answer then?"
She looked up at him, and with tears in her eyes she said, "I love you more."
In all honesty this wasn't the answer he thought he was going to get, and he would later feel guilty about thinking so. But right now, at this moment, he felt relief. He looked at her for a moment, taking her in, before he gratefully took her into his arms.
"Thank you," he said. "We're gonna find you a rehab, okay?"
"And how are we going to pay for that?" she muttered.
"You don't have to worry. I'll take care of it," he assured.
"Speaking of which, I still haven't payed the water bill. We gotta get on that."
Kozik sighed. "I'll take care of that, too," he said.
In the end he still had a weakness for her. At least now he could rest easy knowing that she had a weakness for him, too.