Summary: Itachi mulling over his mistakes, and the regret he feels for the treatment of Sasuke
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto or any of it's characters…if I did…lets just say some things would be different…
What I've Become
Sometimes when I think about what I could have done, what I should've done; I feel a rush of self loathing; a bitter resentment. A rage so great that at times I feel it would consume me and I would do what I've wanted to do for so long. End it; to end my pathetic existence as a slowly blinding nin. Yes, blinding. Because of my constant use of the blood limit, my vision is fading; pathetic.
But I can't. I can't bring myself to do it. It's why I wait for him. It is why I do everything in my power to bring him to that point where everything blurs till all he sees is what I've become. An S-class missing nin who massacred his entire clan all for the sake of gaining the next level of the Sharingan. A cold hearted bastard who revels in the pain and agony he had subjected to his only sibling. A sibling he had abandoned in the clan's complex full of corpses. In reality, I am but a shell that sees that nothing is worth living anymore. That all I have done, is create a void inside myself, a void that sucks the color out of life…the only color that has been known to me since I left Konohagakure; red.
My teammates, if you can call them that, know nothing of the inner turmoil I face. Which is expected, considering that my mask is always up. It never comes down. It never reveals what it has been hiding for years.
Years
Waiting for my brother to get stronger is what I deserve. Because with him, will come my freedom. It is only just that the one thing that I want so much in life be postponed until insanity engulfs me and my pride breaks away to have me wondering around for anyone to take down. That's really all I have; pride…pride and the void.
I want my brother to kill me. That much should be obvious, but I want to give all that I got so I go down like a missing nin. I want to go down fighting. I want to know that my brother can take what life has dealt him. Though him going to the Snake sannin was something that I had not thought of. I should have.
I just hope that he can get past it and come fulfill my selfish wish.
A/N: So what do you think? Good? Bad? Give me your thoughts! If the writing is bad…it's 1:38 am and well…I wrote this on a whim. I KNOW I HAVE OTHER STORIES THAT NEED TO BE WRITTEN!!! I'm sorry, but I kind of lost my rough copies when I moved…heh heh and yeah…very sorry…but they ARE NOT DEAD!!!!