Hope you all enjoy! Bobbie was rather difficult to write. Title taken from the poem: The Light Of Stars by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Expanse.
She had wanted war until she realized what it meant. It was only when her team had been wiped out, dead, gone and Ganymede was falling apart around her was when she realized that she had never really wanted war. What she had wanted was Mars at its prime. War had simply been the fastest way to that goal. She had looked down on those who told her to be wary of looking for war, had thought they were cowards for shielding away from it.
She'd been a fool.
War was something only wished for by the foolish and the heartless.
Bobbie Draper didn't need war. She didn't want war. She didn't want to have to watch another friend die. She didn't want to shoot an earther and wonder if he'd had family and friends home. Didn't want to kill someone and wonder if his commanding officer felt the same stabbing pain in their heart as she did.
She wasn't delusional. She knew that she would have to kill, have to fight in the future. Because like it or not, a war was brewing on the horizon. And Bobbie Draper was a soldier. It didn't matter to her anymore, if she stood on the side of Mars or Earth. It only mattered that she stood where she could do the most to help stop the war that was looming over them, threating to swallow everything in the system. Threatening to swallow not just her home but everyone's home.
She was a soldier and she fought to protect people. And she'd very suddenly realized that she didn't care where those people lived. It didn't matter to her whether or not they grew up in full g, or if they had to take bone supplements to survive in a world that barely had gravity or if they grew up under domes and couldn't walk outside without a space suit.
It damn didn't matter. It shouldn't matter.
She'd wanted war until mirrors were shattering around her, everyone else was dead and she had to live with it.
She'd wanted war until she walked Earth and realized that earthers and martians weren't so different.
She'd wanted war until she realized that war had no winners, only casualties.
She'd wanted war until she'd sat on the shores of an ocean on Earth and realized that that she wouldn't kill a hundred blues just for an ocean on Mars.
She'd wanted war up until she realized that someone was killing people, not reds, not blues, but people, for no reason but for war. Then she realized that she would destroy anyone who would so thoughtlessly call for death.
She didn't want a war but someone else did. Bobbie Draper was going to make sure that someone else was very disappointed.
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Have a nice day/night!