Chicken Run: Gone Rum
By Bethany and Sarah; 9/3/12
A/N: This is what really happened to the chickens of Tweedy's Farm. Written round-robin style. Very random; you've been warned.
One fine day, Mr. Tweety was walking by his enormous chicken pen when he thought he saw something strange. Bending down to have a closer look, he saw a giant pile of brown gummy worms writhing and flailing on the ground, defenseless.
Feeling very sorry for them, Mr. Tweety scooped them up and promptly ate them. Mrs. Tweety emerged from the Gates of Hell, er, her charming farmhouse, and saw what Mr. Tweety had done. "You great lummox!" she shrilled. "One o' these days, I'm gonna put you in the pie machine! You'll make sixty of Mrs. Tweety's home baked pies if you'll make one."
She gripped him by the eyebrow and carried him away from the pen, toward the massive chicken dung pile. He waved his arms and legs wildly, trying to escape, but to no avail. He was plopped headfirst into the smelly fecal matter. He presently began to dig himself out and was about to escape when chickens came out of nowhere and attacked him! They started pecking him in the face and the eyes! He bellowed, "Mrs. Tweety, Mrs. Tweety, the chickens are… poopin'? What does it mean?!"
Just then, the pie machine began to plunge and bellow from the brick and mortar barn. "My pie machine! Fix it, you great dolt!" Mrs. Tweety plunged Mr. Tweety with the toilet plunger, plunging him toward the barn.
Fowler then came out of his private hut and saluted. "What what!" he exclaimed, noticing the mayhem in the chicken yard. "Why, in my day…" he started to say before Mr. Tweety came running out of the barn with his butt streaking flames. "I fixed it!" he yelled plaintively. The pie machine had a massive eruption of vegetables, gravy, and an irate Mrs. Tweety. Mr. Tweety, who'd only just managed to escape the disaster, accidentally tripped over his garden gnomes.
The rats took that opportunity to commandeer the gnomes, which picked themselves up and ran away. Seeing this, Mr. Tweety believed that he had finally lost it and decided to go insane. His eyes went swirly and he began to foam at the mouth. He ran to the chicken pen at breakneck speed and stuffed every chicken he could find in his mouth.
While he was doing this, Babs waddled out of her shack with her knitting needles strangely idle, wondering if everyone had gone on a holiday. She had just finished Rocky's beak warmer, and was looking around to see if she could spot him. Then Mr. Tweety ate her. He then keeled over and died of the Plague because he had accidentally eaten a couple of fat rats that were trying to act like trout. They were, of course, carrying the Plague.
The End