Back!
So here is my new story, I'll be updating once a week maybe sooner. All depends really.
So anyways please enjoy
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or the lyrics to Let it Out by Miho Fukuhara
Edward sighed as he dressed himself for his first day of school. He hated starting school in the middle of the year; people always stared at him and gave him fake smiles. It made him sick. Edward always saw behind a person's disguise. He more than anyone knew that no one was as they looked, so he preferred being alone. He didn't like 'making friends'. No, he just wanted to get school over with. He rolled his eyes as he made his way downstairs to wait for his brother Alphonse. Al was the only one Edward spent time with. He was truly the only one Edward had in the world.
Alphonse was the only person who knew Edward inside and out. He was Edward's one and only friend. Edward preferred it that way. Having unnecessary 'fake' friends grew tiring after some time if you asked him. Honestly, Edward hated.. well, everyone.
Edward fixed the collar of his button down shirt as Alphonse made his way towards him. 'Finally,' Edward thought. He wanted nothing more than to get away from home and to finish the day.
"Good morning nii-san." His brother spoke a bit slowly looking him in the eye.
Edward grunted as a response. Alphonse sighed but smiled nonetheless.
"Today will be a good day nii-san, so don't be to grumpy."
Al was being sickeningly cheerful again and Edward felt uncomfortable. He let out a little whine in hopes his brother should let him skip the day. Of course Alphonse just hooked his arm with Edward's as they walked to school.
The walk felt a bit too short for Edwards taste, but he would have to endure it or Alphonse would scold him. Again. With a sigh Edward leaned against his brother lightly letting the other know how he really felt - and that was a mix between nervousness, agitation, and anger. Only school could make Edward feel this way.
Alphonse had it easy if you asked him; he could easily talk and make genuine friends. He was a social butterfly, as he would say. Alphonse could relate to anyone. He put his trust into almost everyone he met. He could make friendships that would last until old age. Again, Edward couldn't do that; he couldn't trust others. They were all the same. He didn't see a difference between them. People were greedy and unbelievably cruel to one another, and Edward had had more than enough of that. He was already planning on giving everyone who looked his way a death glare.
Alphonse stopped walking just before reaching the steps, pulled Edward aside and locked eyes with him.
"I know you have trust issues because.. of what happened, nii-san," Al said, "but please. You have to have faith!"
Edward could tell Al was in pain. He could see it deep within his eyes, and it broke Edward's heart seeing his baby brother like that, but he couldn't help it. He didn't want to trust anyone. He didn't need any fake a** friends. He has Alphonse and that is enough
"This is who I am Al," he replied after a moment, but of course Al quoted something that Edward couldn't come up with a reply to.
"Nobody knows who their real selves are. Losing and finding things in the middle of this long, long road.
There are days where we feel alone and we feel like crying, but...
Change these tears and this pain into stars
Turn on the light that will shine on tomorrow.
Together, we'll create stardust and search for an eternity that glows so brightly."
Alphonse knew how Edward felt about that damn song, it always made him feel mushy and actually want to change his view on things. He sighed and gave a lopsided smile and pulled Alphonse into a tight hug, he pulled back just enough for Alphonse to see Edward's 'I love you'. Alphonse smiled and did the same. Honestly his brother was such a sap, but Edward wouldn't have it any other way.
They continued on their way much to Edward's annoyance. He groaned as they walked up the steps of their new school. As they reach the top of the steps Edward looked up and felt his mouth drop slightly. It was a decent, baronial building that could take anyone's breath away. You didn't really see baronial buildings nowadays, so this was new, and he could appreciate the beauty of the old building at least.
Edward tightened his hold on Alphonse as they walked inside the building, and few kids turned to look at them curiously. This was always the hardest part. Edward hated people staring at him especially when he was with Alphonse, because then he'd have to try and not snap at anyone.
Alphonse always knew how to calm Edward's nerves; just a simple 'nii-san' calmed him down. He kept his older brother in line. But horribly enough, Edward was a year ahead of Alphonse - which meant they would not have classes together. Before the day was over, Edward knew he would die of pure loneliness and self restraint. When Edward was alone it was always harder to hold in his temper and god forbid that someone should mention his height!
Not that he would ever admit it, but Edward was, in fact, scared. He was scared at the thought of how everyone would look at him. At his old school everyone always gave him odd looks. He had hated it; he had hated all of them. They made him feel different and unnatural. True, he was different than most kids, but that didn't give them the right to make him feel like utter s***. They had no right to judge him.
He scolded at a few kids who were starring at them, he was satisfied to see them turn a shade of red in embarrassment and turn to leave quickly. He hated the stares. He hated feeling small under their gazes. He looked up slightly only to be greatest with his brother frowning down at him, "did you really have to scare them nii-san?" Alphonse shook his head in disapproval, "I could have politely told them to stop.." Edward read his lips and frowned grunting. He was the older brother! Alphonse didn't need to care for him like he was a baby. Edward could handle himself.. Most times. Edward lifted a finger to his lips telling Alphonse to hush- at that Al frowned and opened the door to the main office.
By the time they received their schedules Alphonse told him the bell had rung just five minutes before. Great. Now he would have the whole classes' eyes on him when he walked in. Ed and Alphonse parted ways when Ed made his way up the stairs to the second floor; Al being a year under meant he was on the first floor for the day. Ed prayed to whatever God there was to let the day pass without anyone trying to talk to him. He just wanted to get the day over with and not deal with a bunch of nosey idiots.
While searching for his class his thoughts started to drift off causing him to feel uneasy. When he was left alone he felt empty and afraid; he felt so weak and lonely it made him sick. When he was alone was when his thoughts were the loudest and all his regrets and mistakes would pop up; all the things he should have done when his mother was alive, all the people he could have become friends with but turned away cruelly. When he was alone he was in unbearable pain. He hated this part of himself, hated the person he became.
But Ed couldn't change. It was too late for that now. He was already too deep into this way of life. He was already distrustful. He couldn't stop himself from wanting more in life, but he also couldn't stop resenting everything life had to offer. Life was cruel and unfair to him and he'd had enough of that. He could feel the familiar tightening in his chest, his hands and legs starting to shake. He stopped walking to lean against the wall behind him, working to calm himself down before he tried to find his classroom. He was glad Alphonse wasn't with him because this was one side he would never dare to show his brother. Ed's problems were his own doing and his own burden to carry. He had brought this upon himself and would just have to deal with it. He whimpered softly covering his face with his hands.
When he removed his hands he wasn't alone.
Edward's head whipped up, staring frantically at the boy standing in front of him. The taller boy looked down at Edward slightly amused, and he was freaking smirking! Edward narrowed his eyes, examining the boy.
He had dark hair that looked casually unkempt and falling over his eyes a bit. His eyes were dark, almost black, but Edward could see the hint of blue deep in them. That smirk was all the evidence Ed needed however: in conclusion, he looked like a bastard.
Ed's thoughts were interrupted when he saw a hand stuck out in front of him. He glared at the hand and pulled himself up. Like hell he would take this bastard's hand. Ed dusted himself off and looked at the boy through long eyelashes. The tall boy's lips were moving, but too fast for Edward to read.
'Just perfect,' he thought as a groan left his lips, 'this guy isn't going to leave me alone; just what I needed.'
Ed pushed his bangs behind his ears and fully looked at the bastard. He looked confused, probably because Edward hadn't replied to whatever he said a moment before. This time Edward could read his lips.
"Are you okay?"
Edward frowned and nodded, then started away. Edward hoped the bastard wouldn't try to further their 'conversation', but of course Nameless fell into step beside him and continued talking, though what he was saying was a mystery to Edward. He was starting get on Edward's freaking nerves.
Bastard stopped walking and looked down at Edward again, and this time Edward knew what he was saying.
"You don't talk much, huh?"
Edward glared up at him and gave a curt nod. He could tell Nameless was amused by this. The bastard was smirking down at him.
"My name is Roy, and yours is?" Roy grinned, waiting patiently for the smaller boy's reply.
Edward bit his bottom lip. He really didn't want to talk. He hasn't talked to a stranger in years, for fear of not be able to control his voice. He only talked to Alphonse. Alphonse knew how to help him. But Alphonse wasn't with him and he needed to figure something out fast.
Edwards face brightened slightly as an idea came to mind. Roy seemed to notice and looked curious now. Edward pulled his schedule out of his pocket and thrust it into Roy's chest. Now Roy was confused, and Edward just grinned up at him. Roy looked over his schedule quickly and smiled this time. Edward didn't know why, but he suddenly felt … funny.
It turned out they both shared the same class, which is why Roy was smiling. Edward scowled at Roy's back as they turned a corner and walked down the hall. Ed shoved his hands inside the pockets of his red coat and sighed as they came to a stop. Roy knocked on the door before them and opened it slowly. 'Dramatic bastard', Edward thought bitterly. He just wished to get it over with.
As predicted, all eyes were on him as he entered his new chemistry class. He tried to ignore the stares as he walked towards his new teacher's desk to hand over his schedule. God he hated school. Edward stood awkwardly in front of the class as the teacher, Mr. Harris, scanned the paper in front of him. Suddenly Edward noted how the teacher clapped almost cheerfully and proceeded to speak to his class. That was fine; as long as he didn't direct his attention towards Edward he was just fine.
But of course he did.
All of a sudden everyone's eyes were on him once again as Mr. Harris turned to look at Edward, waiting for something.
'Shit' Ed thought, 'he must have asked me something.'
Edward didn't think anyone here knew sign language, so this would be a bit hard. Just as he was about to grab a sheet of paper, Roy walked to the teacher's side and spoke to him. Edward didn't exactly catch everything that was being said but he did catch a few things. Like, "He doesn't talk much," and "He's a bit shy." Edwards face turned a bright shade of pink. Damn bastard was acting like he knew Edward! Somewhere a voice in the back of his head told him he should be a bit grateful. He whole heartedly proceeded to curse himself.
He glared at Roy as he continued to converse with Mr. Harris. Honestly, how much did the b*** think he knew about Edward? Edward silently sent a few curses towards every poor soul currently in the classroom. Damn them for staring at him and for making him feel.. small.. Damn his teacher and damn Roy for thinking he needed help. He didn't need anyone's help! He could have handled the situation perfectly fine on his own.
Edward's thoughts were interrupted when Roy turned and walked towards him, a cheerful smile on his face. Edward was confused. He sent another glare Roy's way and frowned when he saw Roy was saying something.
"Looks like we're in the same group!" Ed made out.
Roy still looked cheerful, and Edward noted how fake he was being. Ed didn't think Roy actually looked that happy. Was the older boy always faking it? Hard to tell, since Ed had just met the bastard.
Edward just wanted to die when Roy grabbed his arm and dragged him towards his table.
Edward should have known this would happen. He always got stuck with idiots. He preferred to be alone, and to work alone, but now he had to work with a group of idiots. He glared at the people in front of him hopping to scare them away. Of course he failed.
'Persistent assholes' he thought as he slouched down into his seat, looking over his group - a total of seven student, one girl and rest males.
He grunted as a tall blonde boy began to talk, looking Edwards way. Unfortunately, Edward couldn't catch a single word that was being said.
'Damn guy talks to fast,' Edward thought as he simply stared at the blonde chatting away as others began to join in.
They soon stopped, probably noticing the blank expression on Edwards face. Edward also noticed how everyone was looking at him a bit irritated. That finally put a grin on his face, and he looked over to see Roy frowning at him.
"I understand you're shy, but really?" Roy said.
Edward could have laughed. He decided to now was a good time. Edward grinned at the group as he lifted his hands up just enough for them all to see. He saw how the boys were confused, and noticed how the only girl seemed to be catching on. His grin only widened.
His hands moved slowly, just in case someone in the group knew sign language.
'I'm deaf and don't know what the hell you people have been saying to me,' he signed.
Really wanna thank UP2L8 for being my beta, this story would probably look like crap if I didn't have help!
Let me know what you think, please leave a review!