Maz walked over to the table where her friend Chev was sitting, grumbling about the immature and overly excited younger irkens running around the cafeteria. Big deal, she told herself, it's not like you're all becoming the tallest or anything like that.
Chev always walked around on her PAK legs, but no one was sure why-- perhaps to add just a little more to her already noteworthy height. She loved teasing the other irken soldiers just to see them get mad about something no one had control over. She looked up at Maz as she sulked to the table.
"Something the matter?"
Maz shook her head. "Red's gonna become an Invader time, and I'm not, I just know it..."
Chev shrugged. "Feh, who cares about that anyway. It's boring. I'd much rather stay here." She bit the head off one of her giant gummy meekrobs.
Maz sat down, frustrated with her friend's indifference. "Being in a squad with Red would be....hmm, well, romantic, I think."
Chev couldn't keep from laughing. "You and your fantasies! Sometimes it seems like Red's the only thing you think about."
"Shut up! I'm not THAT obsessed," Maz insisted, but her attention was diverted to the announcer at the podium.
He fumbled with a huge stack of papers, looking out nervously into the crowd of anxious faces. "Ah...um... Her majesty Tallest Miyuki has decided the new Invaders for this year..." He took out a list and began reading.
Maz sat on the edge of her seat the entire time, listening for her name. She ignored the cheers from those who had gotten in and had missed Chev's name, until Chev tapped her on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I'm in!"
She had just nodded and continued to listen, until Red walked over.
"Hey, Chev," He said, "I heard you got in. That's great."
Oh...god... Maz thought, trying to keep focused on the announcer.
"Uhh...I know I've seen you before somewhere..." Red thought for a minute. "Maz, right?"
HE REMEMBERED MY NAME!!!
"Uh...y-yeah, that's m-me," Maz stammered, grinning weakly.
"Well, I hope you get in," Red said, walking back off to his circle of friends.
Chev shook Maz after Red had left. "MAZ!! Weren't you paying attention?!?! You're in!!"
"I'm WHAT?!" It took a minute for it to sink in. "Yes! YES!!! I'M IN!!!"
When she was done cheering for herself, Maz noticed Zim out of the corner of her eye. He looked depressed. He must not have gotten in... She thought. Poor guy.
~+~+***+~+~
"Invader Maz," she said to herself as she walked to the Master Brain. "I like the way that sounds."
"Don't get cocky YET," Chev warned. "You're not an Invader 'til they re-encode your PAK."
"Yeah, yeah."
They stepped up onto the platform and the first thing Maz noticed were the rows of rather lethal-looking weapons.
"Ohhhhh, I want one of those!" She said to Chev, pointing at a huge blaster with a knifelike appendage attached to it.
"That? It's a MechaCannon. That's a lot of weapon for a beginner," Chev said.
"Awww. But it looks so cool," Maz whined.
The other invaders quieted down when Tallest Miyuki entered the room. She looked over the large group of invaders and then down at her list.
"We've got a good sized group this year..." She murmured to herself. "Well, let's get started. Once I call out your planet, head over to the breifing room to get your SIR. First... Invader Chev, you have planet Terra."
"Sorry, but it looks like we're not going to be together on this one," Chev whispered. "Good luck."
Maz frowned as she watched Chev crawl down the large staircase on her PAK legs.
"Next... Invaders Red and Purple, you have planet Meekrob."
Red grumbled about having to share a planet with his brother, but Purple hit him over the head and dragged him off down the stairs.
"And... Invader Maz, you have planet Gaia."
"WHAT?!" Maz yelled. "You mean I'm all by myself?!"
"Of course not," Miyuki replied, shaking her head. "You'll have a SIR. And that planet is constantly embroiled in war. It'll be easy to take over."
Miserable, Maz slumped down the stairs to the breifing room to get her weapons and SIR.
"Whassa matter?" The supervisor asked her. "I've never seen anyone that unhappy to become an Invader."
"It's nothing," Maz sighed. She looked around for Chev, but she had apparently left already. Maz got in line to get a SIR.
"Um, do I get to pick the one I--" She started, but was interrupted.
"NO!!!" The other supervisor yelled, getting up in her face. "They're RANDOMLY SELECTED, hear me?!?! RANDOMLY SELECTED!!!"
"Oh shut up," The first supervisor said, rolling his eyes. "Just let her pick the one she wants."
The second one grumbled and moved her along. Maz looked down the rows of SIR bodies, keeping in mind that this would be her life partner. She came across one that was cute, but still a little creepy looking. Its head was adorned with spikes and one of its hands was a gun. She decided to take that one.
She headed to the programming room to get a "brain" for the little robot. She walked up read the instructions, then typed in her info.
30 POINTS ARE GIVEN FOR VARIOUS TRAITS. USE THEM AS YOU SEE FIT. USE NO MORE THAN 10 POINTS FOR EACH TRAIT.
SIR's GENDER: MALE
INTELLIGENCE RATING MAX: 10 POINTS
STRENGTH RATING MAX: 9 POINTS
TASK PERFORMANCE: 7 POINTS
RESEARCH CAPABILITY: 4 POINTS
Maz pressed "ENTER" and the computer spit out a small chip. She opened up her SIR's head and clicked the chip into place. The computer in its head hummed to life, its bluish-purple backlit eyes flickered on, and it stood there blinking at her for a minute.
"...Who are you?!" It demanded.
"Hey, watch the attitude!" Maz yelled, hitting it over the head. "I'm your new master, so I ask the questions around here, not you, got it?!"
It looked at her, confused. "YOU'RE my invader? Aren't you a bit small to be an invader?"
"Well, I can see the first thing I'll have to do is teach you some manners," Maz growled.
She dragged the stubborn SIR along with her and got into a Voot cruiser. She looked down at the controls.
"Uh... hey, SIR. What kinda stuff can you do?"
"I can do a lot of things," It snapped back at her.
"Can you fly a Voot cruiser?"
"Maybe," It replied with a yawn. "If I felt like it."
"Good, 'cause I have no idea how to pilot this thing," She said with a smile, pushing it towards the steering wheel. It glared at her and started the ship.
"Oh, what a fantasic life parnership THIS is going to be," it grumbled sarcastically.
~+~+***+~+~
About halfway through the trip, Maz thought of something.
"You know, I really should name you instead of just calling you 'SIR' or 'hey you'."
"I'd like that," It replied. Maz couldn't tell if it was really being serious or if it was being sarcastic again.
"Well... What kind of name do you want?"
"A good one," it said dully. Maz frowned.
"No, I mean, if you had to name yourself, what name would you pick?"
"I don't care. I'm your slave. It's not my business to name myself."
Maz sighed and thought for a while.
"How about... Ispen?" She suggested. "I like that name. It's the name of some storybook hero from my invasion planet."
"Fine by me," the newly named Ispen said, continuing to steer the ship.
~+~+***+~+~
A few hours later, they landed on an open rocky ledge on the planet where there were no inhabitants to watch them.
"I'll come back later to set up my base," Maz said with a yawn. "Right now I should probably pick out my disguise."
She spent a few minutes looking through the list of disguises she could use. She stopped on one that caught her eye and looked across the bottom of the screen. It said "BLACK MAGE". She pushed the button.
When Maz looked in the mirror, she wished the disguise was what she actually looked like. Her face was completely black except for her red eyes, which had turned exprsssionless and glowing. She wore a dark indigo robe that was probably several sizes too big for her and a purple steepled hat with a black ribbon tied around it.
"Wow, you look even creepier than before," Ispen said with a laugh. Maz glared at him.
"I like this disguise," She said, proud of herself. "Now we have to pick one for you."
~+~+***+~+~
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME, KUPO?!?!" Ispen screamed after seeing himself in the mirror. "And why do I keep saying 'kupo', kupo?"
"Aww, but you look cute!" Maz said, giggling. "People on this planet love moogles. It said so in the description."
"I look ridiculous!" Ispen wailed. "And what the hell is this pompom on my head?!"
Maz sighed, exasperated. "We'll pick out a new disguise later. For now, let's just find out how they act on this planet, so we can blend in more."
Maz decided to get used to not using her PAK legs, so she climbed up the ledge by herself. Ispen was up long before she was.
"Man, they've got it hard here," Maz said, panting. She looked over at the huge city in the distance. "Screw this," she said to herself, and climbed down from the top of ledge on her PAK legs, racing toward the city.
~+~+***+~+~
Maz slipped into the castle at the center of the city and ran past a few of the guards. Luckily, their backs were turned, so they didn't notice anything.
"Maz," Ispen hissed when they were out of sight, "Are you SURE that disguise is from this planet? I don't see anyone here who looks anything like you at ALL."
Maz frowned, not that it would have been visible. He was right. However, now was no time to be worried about that.
Their heads snapped up when they heard they wild cheering of a crowd. A girl wearing a white hood ran past them a minute later. The guards didn't seem to notice her either.
"Come on, Ispen," Maz said, grabbing him by the pompom, "Let's go see what's going on out there."
When they had managed to push their way through the crowd, there appeared to be some kind of play going on. The girl they had seen a minute ago was up on the stage, along with a man with a tail and another wearing a ridiculous amount of armor. Maz turned around when she heard a guard yelling at someone. She could see the top of their heads but not whoever they were chasing. She stood on the tips of her toes, craning her neck to see what was going on. The crowd was mumbling worriedly now, and even the actors onstage appeared confused. The guards finally chased a small boy up onto the stage. He yelled something inaudible and a blast of fire shot at them. When he turned back around to get away, Maz saw his face and her eyes widened.
"Ispen! That kid looks like me!" She yelled, unable to contain herself. "Maybe I should follow him."
"Hey, don't ask me," Ispen grumbled. "I'm just your slave, remember?"
Maz was about to yell at him when she heard the sound of an engine starting. The stage in front of her shifted and began rising slowly. Seeing her opportunity leaving, Maz snatched Ispen by the foot and grabbed on to the edge of the stage.
~+~+***+~+~
Maz pushed one of the fallen boards away, standing up and dusting herself off. She looked over at Ispen, who was cursing in irken tongue, and laughed.
"Well, that was conveinent for us, huh? They were so busy crashing this ship they didn't even see us."
Ispen nodded, then looked around. "Where'd that kid go? He was right over there when we got on."
"Maybe he fell off..." Maz wondered. "Well, whatever. Let's go look for him."
Being careful to avoid being seen by anyone, Maz and Ispen searched through the entire ship, but didn't find him.
"Damnit, I bet he DID fall off," Maz grumbled, sitting down in frustration.
"Well, we should still try to find a way out of here," Ispen pointed out. "We can find someone else."
They crawled through one of the holes that had been blasted in the hull of the ship and ran out into the forest. After climbing down a hollow log they came to a small pond, and Maz stopped dead in her tracks.
"What's wrong?" Ispen asked.
Maz shook her head. "Don't you know anything? Irkens are severely allergic to water, dummy."
"Oh come on. Just run through it."
Hesitantly, Maz did, yelping the whole time. When she got back onto dry land, Ispen shook his head disprovingly.
They climbed up another log onto the ground above them.
"What is THAT?!" Maz yelled upon seeing the giant plant-montser.