"I'm Sorry I Lied"
Author: Mari2Anne
One-Shot Sequel to "I Don't Love You" (might need to read that to get a better idea where this one started).
Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine; I do not own them or Smallville.
Pairing: Chloe/Clark
Status: Completed/One Shot: Just a short mushy romantic one-shot/PG-13. A tale of a visitor to the Fortress after Clark's training has started.
Spoilers: Not really, unless you haven't seen any of Season 7 before the Veritas episode.
The moment Clark arrived in the Fortress of Solitude Jor-El's voice greeted him.
"Welcome, my son."
"I am free now Father to do your bidding; to train as you have wanted."
"You are free because your chosen one has more courage than the greatest Kryptonian warriors. She is worthy of the love you feel for her in your heart. Lara would have been pleased to welcome such a daughter into her arms. And by the time you have completed this stage of your life you will be worthy of the great love Chloe Sullivan has for you."
Before Clark could ask for a clarification of his father's appraisal of Chloe, the ice wall before him became like a larger-than-life movie screen revealing her in the caves, the words she spoke through her tears echoing around him, destroying the control he had on his emotions.
"I lied. I don't have Jimmy. I do love you. I won't be happy until you return. I don't care how many years it takes, I will wait. Learn fast and come back to me, Kal-El."
He sat down on the floor defeated, knowing he could not go to her, Jor-El would not allow it; he did not need to ask.
"It is not my wish to cause either of you any sadness, Kal-El, my son. But she knows you have delayed too long the lessons you must learn to save this world from the terrible things that lurk in the dark souls of evil beings."
Clark looked at Chloe as she let free reign of her tears. "Will I forget her, Father?" The fear was not disguised in his passionate plea.
"She is the reason you are here. I will teach you to always keep her safe. You may send her one last message before we begin. Say what you wish my son, she will hear it."
"Thank you, Father."
He smiled to himself to hopefully take the sadness out of his voice as he spoke. "Chloe, sweetheart, thank you for your love."
He watched her jump to her feet and look all around the caves, "Clark?" she wiped at her cheeks to hide the tears.
"Don't be afraid. Jor-El allowed me one last good-bye so that you would not be sad. He promises that I will not forget you because you are braver than the greatest Kryptonian soldiers and have even humbled my father. Wait for me, Chloe. I will learn fast and I will come back to you."
He saw her smile and clasp the portal key close to her heart with both hands as she spoke, "I love you, Clark. I'm sorry I lied before. I won't forget you, either. I'll wait no matter how long it takes."
"I love you, too, Chloe."
And the picture faded in the Fortress and only a slight wind could be heard in the caves.
She went to the caves often and used the key to go to the Fortress. She always brought a mega warm coat and a couple of blankets with her and would sit out of sight of Clark and quietly watch the amazing trap he seemed to be in; his little personal classroom she liked to think of it as.
On her second visit Jor-El spoke to her. "Why have you come, my child?"
"I miss him….I won't disturb, please don't send me away…"
"There is a void in his heart as well, my child, but I will allow him to feel your warmth; so he does not lose faith. To know he has your heart will encourage him to continue his excellent progress in his training. I am grateful to you for your unconditional acceptance of my son. The first time you followed Kal-El here, I did not understand his need for you, that his life journey would be meaningless to him alone. The Fortress welcomes you, it will never deny you entrance, and you will never again feel cold here."
Suddenly, it was as if a heater had been turned on and she had to remove her coat to not sweat. She smiled and whispered 'thank you' as she folded the coat and used it like a pillow as she relaxed and closed her eyes, the picture of Clark in his weird little classroom following her into her dreams. And true to his word the warmth always filled the air within minutes each time she came back.
Almost two years later on one of her now frequent visits when she had once again fallen asleep, she awoke to Clark's voice, "Chloe?"
"Oh, my God, how long was I out? Nothing's wrong. The world is safe. Sometimes I come here to be with you. Jor-El allowed it. Did I interrupt your training? I'm sorry, I…is Jor-El mad?" she frantically looked around as though Jor-El's wrath would be a visible thing.
Without a word he picked her up, wrapped her tightly in his arms and kissed her. It seemed to go on forever as she desperately clung to him losing track of time and of where she was, did not even feel that they had moved until he lifted his head and she found they were lying on some huge soft-as-a-cloud hammock type bed and Clark's beautiful blue green eyes were gazing into hers.
He smiled and whispered, "I've felt you sometimes; I didn't know it was because you were here. Jor-El upped the temperature for you, so I'd venture a wild guess that he's not mad. Sometimes he does let me sleep. Training is relentless and tiring, I can't keep my eyes open right now. Stay with me until I wake?"
She snuggled closer into his tight embrace as he relaxed and fell into a deep slumber. She couldn't sleep. Why waste precious moments dreaming when her reality was better than anything she had ever wished for conscious or not? She curled closer resting her left ear against his heartbeat. It was so steady and strong. His breathing so calm and peaceful. She dared to believe he was happy that she was there. Her fingertips carefully traced his jaw line, his cheeks, over his eyes and across his forehead before venturing down his throat along the collar of the soft blue cotton shirt he wore. She slipped open a couple of the shirt buttons, reached her hand under it to touch his chest. He was so warm. And he smelled so good, like a wonderful forest green soap.
She thought touching him would make the dream more real, fulfill a hunger she'd never thought to satisfy. But the hunger grew, like a fire out of control bringing uncertain tears to her eyes. She was in love with an alien. The alien, or rather, the intergalactic traveler, was in love with her. She was almost 95 percent sure that she didn't doubt that anymore. Jor-El would have certainly kept her away if there'd been even the slightest inkling that she wasn't wanted by his son.
Was any of it real? Or was she certifiably nuts? Her life seemed so unbelievable sometimes. She planted soft kisses on his throat. "Are you real? Can this be true?"
She whispered between kisses.
He woke up, suddenly afraid to open his eyes for fear the dream he felt in his arms, the kisses whispering across his throat and collarbone, the warmth of her body so tight against his would not be real. He'd dreamt of her so many times during the few hours sleep Jor-El allowed him. He'd felt her nearness sometimes while his brain was being filled with wisdoms of all the known galaxies, all the information Kryptonian society had amassed and stored in their computers.
She felt the sudden stillness in him as if he were holding his breath, like he was afraid to move. "How come you smell so good, Clark?"
He pulled back from her, his response automatic as if it were the most normal question she could ask. "Why? How long have I been gone? It's hard to keep track of any kind of time when I'm trapped in that knowledge chamber."
"One year ten months six days three hours, well that was at the moment I entered the caves this time. Because I fell asleep earlier I don't know how long I've been here now either. I never fell into that deep of a sleep before."
"I'm more than half done; guess I'm a good student. You thought maybe I hadn't showered in all that time?" he teasingly asked.
She turned her head, her eyes wandering in all directions she could see from her position. "I never wandered around to see there are actual living quarters…so not my usual nosey reporter style, huh?" she answered a little amazed and added with a tiny smirk, "The bed is certainly cozy enough, softer than anything I've ever slept on."
"It is a small replica of part of my home when I was a baby on Krypton; with all the necessary comforts. Food was a problem at first when I prepared to come here for the training. I settled for military-style survival rations, supplements and vitamins, anything that could be mixed or swallowed with water. Water is not a problem up here, a little heat vision on some ice and voila: water for drinking or bathing. When I need more energy than the food provides I go on the roof and absorb some sunshine."
"Does it hurt? When you get trapped in that weird vortex? I think of it as your own personal little classroom."
"It only hurt the first time, years ago, when I fought it. Now it's easy; I just let myself be absorbed by it and it surrounds me and fills my head and my ears with images and sounds from all different worlds and galaxies. Sometimes it's Jor-El's voice as the teacher. Other times it's voices from the crystals; some sort of library system recorded and saved from Krypton's scholars and scientists, centuries of knowledge. I'm hearing the greatest teachers of history sharing the secrets of planets where peace was achieved and detailing the extensive search for answers where tranquility was eluded. I'm learning how some civilizations learned to conquer evil without destroying themselves. When I'm shown things it feels like I'm traveling at the speed of thought to places light years away, and it's hard to believe Jor-El when he explains that I never leave the Fortress; it feels so real to me. I've even learned just about everything about every culture that ever walked on Earth. I've traveled to every corner of this planet. There are sessions that are so overwhelming I feel unworthy of being entrusted with all this knowledge and afraid I might not use it properly."
It was amazing how easily he could explain this to Chloe; she listened so carefully to each and every word, her awe-filled eyes never straying from his intent gaze. Jor-El had not understood, merely replied, "It is your destiny…"
She touched his cheek and smiled at him, thinking how different he'd seemed, so sure of himself and so mature and yet still vulnerable and insecure. "You have a mind that remembers everything, Clark. You'll teach us, our scientists, our scholars and leaders; we'll learn everything you bring to us…you'll show us by the good you do. We'll soon be convinced of the goodness in the path you make for us. It won't take us long to understand the love in your heart for your adopted home and its many varied civilizations. You have so much faith in our capacity for good; you won't give up on us. You don't know how to misuse this knowledge or your powers, Kal-El. That's why you're being trusted with all of this. Don't doubt yourself, you're more than worthy of this huge responsibility. Trust me, I know you best, you'll do the right thing."
There were no words that came to his humbled brain. This woman always knew how to remind him of the great things he could be capable of if he only believed in himself half as much as she did. He read the love in her eyes and was encouraged, "As long as you are by my side we can accomplish anything." He finally swore solemnly before he kissed her, pulling her tight against him, knowing he had to find a way to always have her in his life.
"Marry me, Chloe. The minute I fly out of here, it's the first thing I want…to make you my wife."
"I-I….I don't know what to say…" she stammered; not quite sure if he meant it.
"'Yes,' sounds good; you could say 'yes.' 'I love you Clark,' is also good…" he replied hopefully, trying very hard not to betray what her heartbeat was revealing to him. "Because I love you, Chloe, and I need you in my life. I need you to believe in my love for you…"
"I think I do believe it, Clark. I wouldn't be spending any time in this Fortress if I didn't. Even Jor-El's approval tells me how much you feel for me. I don't think he'd let me in here if he didn't believe that you thought I was the one you wanted…"
He smiled a little painfully, "I feel a huge 'but' coming up…tell me, sweetheart, I can take it…." He knew he couldn't, it would be impossible to go on without her. He understood so much more now how important his life's work would be; how a large part of his destiny could not be denied or ignored if this planet was to survive.
But with each new responsibility the AI taught him about, the more he learned that his life-long fear of being alone had not diminished, only grown. The battles would be endless, the wars devastating, the disappointments overwhelming. The great scholars, scientists and leaders on Earth would take much convincing. He knew it would not be as simple as Chloe had outlined it. There was much evil to overcome and not just from the surface of this planet. How would he have the strength to go on after each defeat if Chloe was not at his side to encourage him? To egg him on? To show him each struggle was worth it? That even the smallest victory was worth celebrating?
Her slow, somewhat hesitant response finally stopped his self-doubting thoughts. "Clark, I don't—I'm not sure I'm good enough to…."
He stopped her words by pulling her closer and kissing her, drowning his desperate need in maddening desire. He was encouraged when she returned the kiss with equal desire. Her hunger and need were greater than his. He didn't want to stop. He wanted her physical love to convince that logical brain of hers that they were meant for each other, that they belonged together, that their lives fit as perfectly as their bodies did. But he knew his time was limited; the AI would expect him to awake soon to return to the training and he could not let Chloe leave without knowing if she'd be there waiting for him when his education was over.
His lips reluctantly pulled back from hers, he leaned his forehead against hers waiting for her eyes to open. The second they did, he whispered, "Do you love me, Chloe?"
The tears filled her eyes. But even that mini-flood did not hide her soul from him as she finally answered, "With all my heart, Clark."
He let go of the breath he was holding and planted a soft kiss on her nose. "That's the only thing that matters to me, Chloe. Everything else gets in line after that." He took a deep breath before he helped her up off the bed and carried her in his arms to the chamber where his "classroom" was located. He let her slide her feet to the ground, but he did not release her. One arm lowered to her waist as she snuck both hers around his waist.
He waved his other arm slowly in front of him encompassing the whole Fortress. "This replica is what remains of my home planet, Chloe. No single being is good enough to be responsible for saving a whole world. My father could not save Krypton. It wasn't his fault and yet he died seeing it as a personal failure. When he first realized the doom his world was facing and couldn't get anyone to believe him, he became obsessed gathering information to send with me in the spaceship and in those artifacts hidden across the globe waiting for me to collect and join them to create this Fortress. If he could not save his own world maybe that failure could be a lesson to other worlds, not just Earth. That is why he was so relentless in pushing me to learn, to continue the training schedule he had outlined for me."
"I misunderstood his obsession so many times even believing that he wanted me to conquer and rule this planet. He only wanted me to learn. What I do with the knowledge once I have absorbed it all, is still my choice. My destiny to make. And I choose to follow your advice and make good use of it, to pass the knowledge on to help mankind save this planet and any others they will discover and explore. I would like to do that with you beside me, to live together, to raise a family if possible, to love you and to work together to create a better future for everyone."
He smiled at her very quiet attentive look and ended on a lighter note. "So is any of this appealing to you at all? Or do I need to up the Kent charm a little more?"
She found her voice, "Well, if that charm includes some time in that soft-as-a-cloud bed I could be influenced, maybe, to find something that might appeal to me."
His relieved laughter echoed all around the ice walls as he lifted her off her feet and danced around a couple of times before pulling her back close to his body and kissing her as if his life depended on it.
"Chloe, I love you so much."
He sat down on the closest ledge and pulled her down onto his lap, gently brushing his hands through her beautiful golden curls, "Your hair has gotten so long. I've missed a lot, haven't I? Tell me, what's happening out in the real world. Are you happy? Is Kara okay? Is she watching out for you? Have you heard from my Mom? Are you safe? Is the world okay?"
"Whoa, slow down, Clark, one thing at a time!" she replied, grinning from ear to ear.
He touched his forehead to hers, "Sorry, but I'm not sure how much time the AI will give me before the lessons start again."
A sad look swept across her eyes but it was gone in an instant. "Okay. The whole world in sixty seconds or less: Your Mom is fine, happy and healthy, she calls us often. I'm living at the farm mostly. Kara insisted I use your room, I hope you don't mind?"
He answered quickly, "No, I'm happy you're there."
"I have a small—very small—apartment in Metropolis for the nights I work too late at the Planet or with the JLA and can't make the drive to Smallville. The Kent Farm is making a fair profit. Kara is keeping the world safe without revealing herself to anyone. She's getting serious with Jimmy, but hasn't shared her secret with him yet. She's waiting for you to come back before she outs herself to the world. Lois is really fitting in at the Planet. Lana sold the ISIS foundation to Oliver and moved to France about six months ago. The Luthors are relatively quiet, very busy fighting each other more than wrecking havoc on the world; your disappearance has them baffled. According to the JLA they have feelers out everywhere looking for you. Lex is so obsessed he's gotten careless with some of his security and the JLA has taken down a lot more of those horrific labs. I'm keeping very busy. Kara and Oliver are working overtime to make sure I have no time to mope. I miss you so much, Clark."
She reached her arms around his neck and he didn't need a verbal invitation to know what she wanted. The hunger was always with him now so it was easy to recognize it in her too. He absorbed her kisses into his soul, his whole body memorizing every sensation she caused. He didn't know how long it would be before he could touch her again; didn't have a clue if the next time he got a "sleep" break if she might once again be at the Fortress. So these precious moments might just have to sustain him until he was done with the training. He pulled her tighter and neither one let go until the strange vortex noisily seemed to be crashing down from the ceiling.
Clark pulled back slowly, reluctantly. "I think the 'recess-is-over' bell has just rung. It's back to the classroom for Kal-El."
He tried to smile as they got up and she tried not to let the tears fall. Neither succeeded.
"This is not good-bye, Chloe," he calmly told her as he moved closer to the classroom, their hands still touching.
"I know…" she reassured him, "I'll be here waiting…with the most beautiful wedding dress all picked out…"
She wasn't prepared for his reaction. She was swept off her feet, her face was being adored with insanely happy kisses as his delighted laughter filled her ears, "It completely slipped my mind that you hadn't officially answered my proposal. So I guess that was a Sullivan 'yes?'"
"A very official Sullivan yes." She happily answered him.
"We'll make a great team: Sullivan and Kent. I'll do everything in my power to make you happy, Chloe. I will love you every day of my life."
"Just knowing that you love me makes me happy, Clark. Some very intelligent intergalactic traveler recently told me that it's the only thing that matters and everything else gets in line after that."
He stepped backwards as the classroom "beckoned" him. His right hand pulled hers to his chest, "You hold my heart Chloe, take care of it for me until I return to you."
She watched him get pulled into the powerful force that surrounded him and promised,
"I will…"
When she was convinced that he wasn't going to escape that force she slowly started her trek towards the entrance to the portal, but made a quick detour towards the 'bedroom' and carefully spread her blankets that she always brought to the Fortress on Clark's bed. She knew he didn't feel the cold, but he would understand the message that she wanted him to feel her warmth whenever he was allowed to sleep.
And for the first time she left the Fortress to return to the caves and to her real life with happiness and a wonderful new hope for the future filling her heart. She knew the wait would sometimes seem unbearably long but the most important thing she had learned on this day was that it would so be worth it.
-- the end --