And as I sat there holding my brothers lifeless body in my arms: tears ran down my face, down my neck and finally right down to my throbbing heart.
I felt like screaming and throwing anything I could get my hands on but somehow I couldn't find the strength. So I just sat there cradling my brother, my best friend. And in my mind we were still having our last conversation.
"I'm not gonna let you go to hell, Dean" I said loudly "Yes you are..." he replied with equal volume.
"Yes you are" he continued "I'm sorry, I mean this is all my fault, I know that! But what you're doing it's not gonna save me, it's only gonna kill you" I was speechless for a moment.
Then what am I supposed to do?" I asked helplessly, Dean hesitated.
"Keep fighting..." he told me "take care of my wheels..." he actually smiled and I had to fight to stop myself from rolling my eyes.
"Sam, remember what Dad taught you" he continued suddenly serious "ok?" I nodded "and remember what I taught you"
And when he smile it was strained and I could tell he was fighting back tears...
Everything was numb. I didn't care that I could hear a man yelling if from the basement, I didn't care that I was covered in my brothers blood and I didn't care that Lilith got away. All I cared about was that I was alone, completely and utterly alone.
Mum, Jessica, Dad, Ruby and now Dean, all these people died because of me, no, all these people died because of Azazel!
He killed Mum and Jess and Dad then we killed him. Then Lilith tries to lead his army and sends Ruby and Dean to hell. Then the bitch tries to kill me!
Well this isn't gonna stop me, I'm gonna keep fighting. I'll find Lilith and kill her, and then I'll kill her mindless army and any other evil sons of bitches I can find!
But, for now, i'm gonna grieve the death of my last family member.
Who knows, maybe, oneday we'll see each other again.
But, til then, goodbye...
Goodbye Dean!