Confessions to a Baby

I've always been a John/Amanda shipper, much to the chagrin of my friends. One of my favorite private stories is that during their time as master and apprentice they had a baby together. This poem is set in a universe where Amanda had John's baby, and is confiding to the infant all of her secrets. Take from this what you wish, but I never found a J/A baby more appropriate than after I viewed Saw VI.

(PS: Yes, I know that it doesn't always rhyme, but that's the point.)

~*~*~

Hey there, baby girl, are you hungry tonight?

You screamed so loud you gave me such a fright

Let me hold you and kiss you and wipe your tears away

And I'll warm your milk on the stove, okay?

Oh, you have such cute blue eyes like your dad

You're his light and joy and you make him very glad

See, Daddy was once married to a lady named Jill

And they were married once upon a time

Jill worked in a drug clinic for people like me

I like heroin a bit too much, see?

But she threw in the towel and called it quits on me

She threw me out and didn't want to see me again

But Mommy needed a fix

So she had a good friend of hers to get a drug mix

I was all shaky and crying, and you don't like it when Mommy cries, do you?

No, you don't, baby girl.

But Mommy's friend was too rough with Jill, and made her miscarry

Daddy and Jill almost had a baby together, and it was my fault that the baby died

But Mommy didn't mean to, she really needed those drugs

Maybe all Mommy really needed where kisses and hugs

But Mommy never got them when she was your age

So Mommy got in with a bad crow and got framed by a bastard cop

Who was the bad cop? Oh, you don't need to know

He's rotting in Hell now, putting on a big show

The Devil is laughing and laughing and making him suffer for all the bad he's done

But I can't help but feel bad for his son

His name is Daniel and he's a nice boy

Maybe someday I'll invite him over so you can play together

Wouldn't that be nice?

I love Daddy very, very much

And Daddy loves me very, very much

But Mommy was still really, really upset by what she did

And when we shared our love for one

She made sure that she would conceive

That way he could have the baby he always wanted

And Mommy's conscience would be cleared

And then when you appeared

We were both the happiest people in the whole wide world

Daddy loves you so much, baby girl

He loves the way your little blonde hairs curl

He loves the way you coo and babble when he talks to you

And he especially loves it when you smile

Are you finished with your milk?

Your skin feels like warm silk

Let me pat your back

And I will forget the things I lack

I just hope Daddy never finds out what I did

I never meant for him to lose his kid

You would've had an older brother

Someone to tuck you under the covers

If Daddy finds out he will be really, really mad

And I will be really, really sad

But if it gets too much for me to handle, Mommy's got a plan

On a warm night we'll go to the sea

No one else, just you and me

It'll be late, so you'll be asleep

You won't hear me as I weep

I'll hold you real close to my chest

We will wear our Sunday best

I'll jump in the ocean and we won't feel a thing

I bet we'll be able to hear angels sing

Daddy has cancer; he's going to die soon

It would be a special surprise for Daddy, for us to welcome him

Hush little baby, don't say a word

I will keep you safe from the gloom and sin

Let me lay you down in your crib

I'll wipe away the spit-up with your bib

I will explain everything when you're old enough to understand

But for now go off to wonderful Dreamland

Goodnight, baby girl, I'll see you soon

My little rose, always in bloom