She was Helen Magnus and she had lived for over 150 years. She had lost many people, one of the hardest being Nigel and she never thought she would feel pain like that again. At least until she lost her daughter. Knowing that there was the chance her daughter would not have her longevity, knowing this and yet still bringing the child into the world was something she had expected, the possibility of the loss. After Ashley had been born, she had known she would lose the girl before she herself died. Yes, she had known it would be worse than losing Nigel, worse than knowing John killed so many in a bloody rage. Maybe it was just having James pass on suddenly and then so quickly after the only other love in her life. Ashley.
Sitting in the library she was barely able to hold back the tears. If only for the sake that someone might walk in on her, see her. She knew they would think nothing of it, it was expected. James and Ashley, one taken beyond his years and the other before she truly knew what life was. And it was very much her fault. Both had been introduced to this world by her and both had suffered at its hands. She was ultimately responsible and, honestly, she was tired of it.
The book in her hand was giving her little information in way of what she was looking for. Magnus had returned from Central America after discovering the Mayan tomb and refusing to use the solution to her own longevity. She might be tired of losing everything, or seeing the cycle of life turn, but she was not desperate enough to risk the entire world for her own selfish reasons. That and something behind the way Will came back to her. After being estranged and in a dire situation for so long, seeing him in much the manner she found herself in was eye opening. As if she'd looked in a mirror and seen a side of herself she never wanted to see again. Will, yes it was true, if she accomplished her task then she might never have to see his death, be witness to another cruelty.
Magnus was looking for something specific. She had heard rumors of a long lived abnormal that resided somewhere near the Arctic Ocean. Due to the small amount of traffic most of the reports had come from smugglers who had encountered such a being. They feared to travel near certain parts whether it was by air, land or sea. However, narrowing that field of where was off-limits by this creature was becoming disturbingly difficult. Thankfully, in the last few months she had been able to narrow the search parameters decently enough. Now all she had to do was make arrangements for travel.
She would have to go through Russia, as this creature was reported to be in the north Laptev Sea in Severnaya Zemlya. The creature apparently thrived in the cold weather and was most often seen in the dead of winter, in the dead of night on a small Island off of Starokadomsky Island located at the bottom of Severnaya Zemlya. It was not uncommon to find abnormals in such secluded places, but one who lived forever, it was an odd choice. At least that's what Magnus thought. Standing slowly and stiffly, she made her way out of the large library and into her study formulating her travel plans quite vigorously in her head. By the time she reached the door, just about everything was planned out, minus how to tell Will that yet again she was leaving for yet another "adventure" that she would be taking a lone. Perhaps she should just lie to him, tell him she was going to help the Moscow Sanctuary rebuild after the attack.
The man she was musing about just happened to be sitting on her couch. Well, slouching was more like it. He had obviously drifted off to sleep, though she couldn't for the life of her figure out why he was in her study. Ignoring his form she went to her computers and began to make the flight arrangements. She would fly first class to Moscow, deciding her tactic with Will would work to her advantage, and then take a small prop plane from there to get her the rest of the way after staying for a night to ensure all was in order in the Sanctuary. It was much easier, she was finding, to lie to those who didn't see her on a regular basis, or who didn't live under her roof.
She had finished all the plans and sat next to the sleeping Will who was lightly snoring and cradling his hand by the back on his hand. That would be sore as soon as he woke up she was sure. Placing a gentle hand on his thigh she shook him softly, "Will."
He took in a deep breath and let it out looking up at her. "Hey, there you are."
"Yeah, what are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you." He wiped his eyes, ridding the sleep that still lingered in his body.
"What on earth for?"
"You sure you're ok Magnus? I mean…Central America—it's just…something seems off." He finally finished blurting it out.
"Yes Will, I'm fine. It was just an unexpected outcome for the trip, is all." Not a complete lie and she admitted that it made her feel a little better about saying it.
"Alright, well…don't stay up too late." He shuffle to stand and glanced down at her, his hands in his pockets and he rocked back on his heels once or twice before turning toward the open archway.
"Um…Will…" He stopped and turned back to her. She was still sitting and quirking her head to the side lightly. "I'm going to head to Moscow for a week, assist with the rebuilding efforts there. We really need at least one more large Sanctuary in proper functioning order soon and they're the closest to it."
"Alright," his voice contained an ounce of suspicion to it. "When do you leave?"
"In the morning, I won't be gone longer than a week. But, cell service is rather spotty up there so you won't be able to get hold of me I'm afraid. In case of an emergency of course."
"Of course…I guess the Big Guy and I can handle everything here for a while." He stared at her a bit longer, waiting for her to either continue or dismiss him. She did neither.
Instead, Magnus stood and made her way to him, running a soft hand down his arm until his eyes met hers. "Thank you, Will." It was as if there was a compliment on the tip of her tongue but she refused to voice it. He knew her too well, knew that she meant sincerely in her thanks.
"Any time, Magnus." He turned his body again and sauntered out of the office making his way to her bedroom.
It had taken her two full days before she felt comfortable leaving the Moscow Sanctuary, apparently her head of house needed more help than he had let on. Stubborn pride was what it was, and now she was behind in her schedule. She landed the plane and parked it in the hanger in record time and was out in search of the abnormal within an hour of her arrival.
Luckily she didn't have to look far, apparently this creature was a woman and came to the main island every once in a while for supplies and to leave for months at a time. The locals new her as Maggie, and she was said to be beautiful as the sunset and wild as a storm. Seemed she was a woman after her own heart if she knew one. Magnus smiled and made arrangements to be taken to Ostrov Vesenniy just off the eastern part of the larger island. Being the dead of winter no boat was required, something she was thankful for because it would be warmer and quicker to take a snowmobile over the ice.
According to the locals the woman was not well known and hardly spoken when she came to visit. However, she spoke fluent Russian with an accent that belied her origins. Taking a deep breath and thanking the man who had dropped her off in front of the small house she left his side and watched his scuttle away rapidly. Apparently there was a fear of this woman as well. She had noticed it, but the old woman she had found to speak with had seemed rather fond of the abnormal. She had spoken fondly of the woman who had visited and stitched a slice on her palm from a knife slice. The old woman had lovingly called the abnormal, Maggie. So apparently she was more than a myth, although the name Maggie itself held many historical interests.
She was standing outside and there was great wind that was whipping her hair around her face, obscuring her view of the tiny house seated under a small amount of trees. The house couldn't have been more than three small, very small rooms. But in the windows she could see the steam on the glass and the warm and somehow, inviting light. Magnus bolstered up and stomped up to the single door she found.
The door opened before she had a chance to knock and the woman who stared back at her was most unexpected. "I wondered how long it would take you to come to the door. Come inside before you let all the warm air out."
Stepping quickly into the tiny hut she shook the snow from her hair and clothes and hit her books against each other on the mat below to dislodge the packed snow and ice. She was shivering slightly and was daring herself to look up again. Just to double check. Her eyes widened: blue latching onto matching blue. "This is impossibly."
"Hardly." The voice seemed amused. "Although, I must admit to thinking it impossible before it happened."
"And how exactly did it happen?"
"Now, Helen, you know I can't tell you that."
"You're…me."
"Yes, I am you." Helen Magnus, aged over two hundred years and commonly known as Maggie in these parts smiled mischievously back at her doppelganger. "In a sense, anyway. Why don't you take you coat off and get comfortable. I'll make us some tea. I had it shipped from London, or rather James did on his last visit."
"James," her voice was incredulous and she had to hold back the sob that wanted to erupt from her. Luckily she managed it.
"Yeah," the elder woman was calling to her younger self from the small kitchen off to the side of the hut, "He used to come for a visit every few years, especially after you moved to America." The younger could hear the water from the faucet and the kettle being placed on a gas stove. The elder woman came back into the room, "Call me Maggie if it makes you more comfortable. It's the alias I've taken on here."
"There are stories about you, you know. Myths that span back almost a century."
"Sounds about right. I first came here in 1892 after I convinced James I couldn't stay in the city any longer. It's much too difficult to seclude oneself when surrounded by others don't you think?"
"I'm sorry. I'm just—"
"Having a hard time thinking this through. It's understandable, took me a few years to get used to the idea of two Helen Magnus' as well, I've had plenty more time to adjust to it than you." She stood in front of the other woman, eying her carefully. "Come on then, jacket, take it off." Reluctantly the younger pulled it off and handed it over to her older self. "I went back in time to prevent the time line from changing. I got stuck and this was the only solution either I or James could foresee, at least the only reasonable one." She hung up the coat and turned back to the kitchen seeking out the already steaming tea, had to love high altitude, water boiled so much more quickly then.
She came back into the room to find Helen seated and staring at the dining table that was currently covered with electronics, including a rather new laptop. "Where did you get all this?"
"Girl can't reveal all her secrets can she?" She sat and handed the still shivering woman a mug of stewing tea. "Here you go, best you can get in these parts."
"How did you…honestly, I have so many questions to ask you I don't even know where to begin."
"There's very little of them I can answer, I'm sure. I don't want to change the timeline any more than I already have and you know that I can't tell you anything about your future."
Helen's look grew somber then and the older woman stopped bringing her cup to her lips, suddenly realizing what the look was all about. "You could have told me about Ashley."
"No," her voice was quiet and low, "no that needed to happen."
"Why?" Helen's voice rang out in the tiny and silent hut. "There was no need for her to die!"
"I couldn't save her. I couldn't save her the first time and I certainly couldn't do it now."
"I—I don't understand."
"Helen," she set each mug down on the coffee table and reached to grab her younger self's hand, gripping tightly. "So much has happened since Ashley died. So much good, I couldn't risk changing that only to have my daughter back in my life. Ashley wouldn't want it that way. She was always so selfless, thinking of others over and above herself. She was a gift, one I'm glad I had and very sad I lost."
"She—" The tears were starting and Helen couldn't hold them back as they silently spilled over her cheeks.
"She will always be with you. Trust me, I know. Ashley will never leave us. That is something I have come to understand and appreciate. Even as a young woman, she made a great impact on our lives."
Helen nodded, still trying to fight off the sobs. She'd had enough sobbing. Straightening her spine she sat up and put on a mask of strength. Oh, how she had seen that mask so many times, feared it even, but here was her younger self, delving deep until she could find her balance once again.
"I'm surprised it took you this long to find me, actually. I did keep myself well hidden, but knowing your curiosity as I do, I expected a visit many years ago."
"Yes, well things have been a bit busy."
"Aye, they have." She reached down to pick up her mug and took a sip still eying her younger self carefully. "So how is Will getting along?" It had been so long since she had seen him and even in the short years they had been working together he had made a mark on her life, one she would do little to forget.
"Alright, curious as to where I'm off to I'm sure."
"Lied to him did you?"
Helen nodded. "Told him I was helping to rebuild the Moscow Sanctuary."
"Ah, well he won't be calling around then. He and Dmitry do not get along at all."
"Interesting, they always seemed so pleasant around each other."
"I assure you it is all in good company." Finally, that got a smile out of the younger woman. "And Kate, is she well? I don't suppose you've gotten to know her much yet, but still…"
"She's well enough, working her way into the family slowly but surely." Helen didn't really know how to answer the question, it seemed her older self was searching for so much more in her words than she could ever provide but she didn't know enough to know what to say. "She's well, I promise."
"Good." She looked longingly into her mug, only a few more years, then she could rejoin them and, of course, it would be at the height of another chaotic event. Luckily she had had many intervening years to plan out a foolproof strategy: foolproof only in the sense that her young protégé would follow along and leave well enough alone.
They were at a standstill. Neither wanted to speak, the younger not knowing what to say in front of the obvious need of her older self and the elder remaining silent to avoid spilling any further information than she had. Finally after finishing their teas did the elder voice, "Temporal physics are interesting you know: cause and effect."
"What do you mean?" Helen had followed her older self back into the kitchen to clean the used utensils.
"I mean I have affected things that I never meant to, and in ways I didn't quite think I should. However, upon further research of my timeline, at least what I can do which means memory, I had to act."
"What are you talking about?"
"I—" She sighed, contemplating whether or not she really should be telling her younger self or just let the woman figure it all out on her own. Deciding it would be harmless because the event had already passed she spoke up. "I was doing some research on Magoi a few years back and discovered a next of them. The information I gathered apparently leaked out and Alison discovered that they were living rather close to the New Delhi Sanctuary. It only took her a few months to narrow the location and contact you for assistance in a capture. We would never have crashed in that plan in the Hindu Kush had it not been for my mistake and unsecure server."
"Interesting, indeed. And when did you discover this?"
"Not long after it happened…the second time."
"But if you were the first to go back in time, then how would you—"
"I know, complicated. But just so you know, things like this have been popping up over the decades I've been here. No matter how secluded I've been I can't help but alter or find the causes that I never saw before."
"Any more of this going to happen then?"
"I'm sure of it." Again a silence fell over them. The elder stared at her former self, deciding whether to speak or not. "I don't have a cure for you."
"Hmmm?"
"For our longevity. I don't have a cure."
Helen ducked her head, she had all but forgotten that's what this entire trip had been about. "I assumed as much as you are still here."
"You need to stop looking for the easy way out. As do I. Our life…there's so much more…so much that I don't even know yet. I can't begin to tell you everything or anything, but know this. It is all worth it. In the end, every sorrow, every grief, every fight with Will and every quirk of Henry's and Nikola's: it is all worth it."