Disclaimer: I don't own them, I didn't create them, and I don't profit from them. I do however own MacGyver the Giant Wonder Cat and his claws of death (which I trimmed this morning so they're just the claws of annoyance for now).
Author's Note: This is dedicated to Mel for making it through her third year of med school intact and is in response to my own challenge and helped along by "Lee's (Useless) Super-Hero Generator" (see Google to find it and see what you come up with).
"So who do you think Catherine would be?" Greg glanced at Archie curiously as they sat in the AV Lab clearly not working on processing any sort of evidence; having instead stumbled upon a superhero name generator on the internet as they snacked on bite sized Snickers bars.
"Righteous Crimson Lady of course." Archie pointed to the screen which described what super powers were associated with the name. "She's already got the laser vision down." He let out a soft chuckle and popped another Snickers bar into his mouth; more than a few of them had been on the receiving end of one of Catherine's looks, which depending on why she was sending it your direction could feel like you'd been hit with a laser.
"Don't let her hear you say that." Greg knew all too well that you didn't want to cross Catherine when there was work to be done. Still, the temptation to see what other superhero names might fit the other CSIs was far too enticing to just walk away from.
"What about Grissom?" Archie scanned the list and decided that he'd better hit the generator again for a whole new set of names.
"Ooooh, that one; definitely that one!" Greg was a little too enthusiastic and left a gooey fingerprint in the middle of Archie's flat screen monitor as he poked at the name.
With a single raised brow, Archie gave Greg a look before he looked at the name he was talking about on the list. "For Grissom?" He looked perplexed. "I really wouldn't have thought of Grissom as being The Happy Dream Princess."
"Sorry, no, I'm talking about Sara...her power is encyclopedic knowledge, she uses particle spores for a weapon and her mode of transportation is a psychic juggernaut. See it fits!" Greg was perhaps a little too enthusiastic about finding Sara a name.
"Oka-ay." Archie shook his head in amusement as he regarded Greg; why he continued to obsess about Sara when it was clear she wasn't interested in him was beginning to border on sad. Maybe he didn't know what Archie had learned just last week about Greg's favorite CSI and another of their colleagues.
"She could be my dream princess." Greg was clearly getting off the task here.
"In your dreams maybe." Archie was privy to something that he was sure would end Greg's dreams of being with Sara.
Greg scowled as he watched Archie eat yet another little Snickers bar. "Ok, let's see what your name would be." He scanned the list. "Oh, look, here we go, perfect." He left yet another finger print on the screen.
"The Brave Power Justice with his supreme computer hacking skills. Nice one." Archie smirked as he noticed Sara quickly coming their way with Nick close on her heels. He knew that he wasn't working on anything for them so they must be looking for Greg.
"Now me, what would I be?" Greg was scanning the list of names on the screen trying to find his perfect superhero name, completely unaware that two CSIs were trying to hunt him down and had just found him.
"I'd say unemployed if Grissom catches you squandering department resources when you should be in the garage processing that car from the crime scene." Nick let out a deep chuckle as Greg jumped.
Greg glared at Nick. "Did you need to just sneak up on me like that? You could have given me a heart attack; I might have needed mouth to mouth or something." He gave Sara a very pointed look with a slight waggle of his brows.
Sara smirked and cleared her throat. "Just what are you two doing anyway?" Nick had left out the tiny little detail that the car had just arrived in the garage and hadn't even been unloaded from the tow truck yet.
"Looking for superhero names." Archie replied matter-of-factly as he clicked on the generator one more time. While Greg might have more work to do, Archie was slower than he'd been in months and had nothing better to do than surf the internet.
"Superhero names, huh?" Nick leaned in towards the screen with interest, glancing over at Greg with a single brow arched as he gestured towards the doorway with this thumb. "Car's waiting, Sanders."
"I don't see you moving." Greg was trying to call Nick's bluff; they were working the case together and if he and Sara had come looking for him together it probably meant they had at least ten minutes before the car would even be off the tow truck.
"Well, I wouldn't wait around until The Bewildering Arch Spider shows up." Nick smirked.
Greg glanced at the screen, mumbling under his breath. "Cosmic awareness, enhanced senses, omnipotence...unexplained source of powers...definitely Grissom." He sat back in his chair with a measure of satisfaction and a smile on his face. "That's three down, we just need to come up with ones for Warrick and Nick now."
Sara's curiosity was piqued. "Warrick and Nick, huh? What did you come up with for me?" She had her arms crossed over her chest and stared him down. With Greg there was no telling what he might have come up with.
"Uh, The Happy Dream Princess." Greg knew that he was in trouble; there was no way to get the name back up on the screen to prove he was telling the truth and he couldn't see Sara finding that name as flattering as he'd thought it was.
"I'd go take care of that car if I were you." Nick was doing his best not to smile, but wasn't doing a very good job of it at all. He knew Sara well enough to know that her feministic sensibilities would be offended by a name like that.
"How is a name like Happy Dream Princess a superhero name?" Sara could have easily launched into a speech about how a name like that just helped to fuel ideas that women were helpless and needed rescuing by some damn knight in shining armor.
"Encyclopedic knowledge." Greg blurted out before he hurried out the door and down the hall towards the garage.
"He has a point; you are pretty smart." Archie glanced over at Sara with a smile clearly amused by the whole situation.
"Thanks." Sara furrowed her brow and looked over at Nick. "We probably should go help him." The whole tirade she had swirling around in her mind was thrown off and she just shook her head feeling slightly bewildered.
"Yeah, we should...Happy Dream Princess." Nick swallowed his smile, but a laugh escaped and he sidestepped as Sara feigned a glare and swatted at him as they walked down the hallway.
"Don't you dare start calling me that." Sara's smile belied her tone of voice. If anyone could have gotten away with calling her the Happy Dream Princess it was Nick.
"Fine, I'll come up with another name for you." He arched his brows suggestively as he lowered his voice and whispered conspiratorially. "Besides, I think Black Lace Temptress suits you far better, don't you think?"
Sara blushed. "That is not a superhero name." She remembered just how appreciative Nick was when he saw her in that black lace outfit several days before.
"Maybe not to you." Nick grinned; seeing her in that outfit had made him feel like a superhero. "But to Sexy Ass Man and his loins of fire here, Black Lace Temptress is the ultimate superhero."
Sara snorted out a laugh. "Loins of fire?" She was thankful that no one else was in the hallway as they walked towards the garage. "I'm not sure I would call them that."
Nick looked a little put out. "How do you know my loins weren't on fire?" Clearly he had lost his mind having this conversation in the hallway, which would clearly out their relationship should someone overhear them.
Sara stopped and smirked. "I was there, remember." She knew she needed to be careful with what she said here; she didn't want to bruise Nick's fragile male ego.
"Which is why I'm standing by 'loins of fire'." He gave her a look that said she was clearly wrong.
Sara rolled her eyes and pulled him into one of the layout rooms which wasn't occupied. Her voice was a little sultry as she spoke. "I was thinking that they were more like loins of thermonuclear fusion."
Nick couldn't help but grin, the significance of the scientific reference wasn't lost on him. "Ok, I'll give you that...Just as long as I can call you Black Lace Temptress Girl." Nick decided to take his chances with them getting caught as he pulled Sara towards him and leaned in to kiss her.
Sara mumbled against his mouth. "Only if I can call you Texan-Hottie-With-A-Naughty-Body Man." At that moment she didn't care if the entire lab found out about their relationship; kissing Nick was well worth the risk.
"Deal." Nick mumbled back, oblivious to the fact that since they hadn't made it to the garage, Greg had come back looking for them just in time to see their lips lock.
As Greg hit the floor with a thud, Righteous Crimson Lady and The Bewildering Arch Spider stood there with their superhero mouths agape wondering just why their super CSI powers hadn't detected a thing.
The End