Markings of Twilight: Memories of a Heart
I didn't expected today would be any different. Why would it be? All the days seem so alike it became impossible to tell them apart. Did I go down the south trail yesterday? Or was it three days ago? The elders should know, they keep track of my movement better then me. But then again they met the Cold Ones before. I haven't.
Not in person that is.
And for that I was grateful.
Back then there were six of them. Now I am alone. Just like the one before me. There was no need for a large pack anymore; one wolf at a time was enough.
I heard the oldest legend of the Shadow warriors and the first vampire that my people came across. I knew why we… I existed. But I never learned why there was still need for a wolf to guard the Quileute land. The coven that resided in outskirt of Forks left fifty years ago so the people are safe. Although, seeing we live in the rainiest state there is still a chance some nomadic tribes might pop up now and then.
It hasn't happened yet.
I ran few miles on our side of a long ago set a treaty line in a direction of the small town when I felt the wind shifting. It wasn't something I would usually pay attention to but today the wind sounded different. Somewhat… sad?
I stopped in my track and turned away from the reservation. The wind… the melody was coming from the other side. Their side of the treaty line.
I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew I would get scowled by the elders if they found out. But I just couldn't stop my legs… paws from moving forward. Towards the source of the sound.
And what I found on the end took me by surprise.
I'm not an idiot, I knew the coven that lived here before was cultured but I haven't expected them to live in something like that! If someone could see me right now they would probably laugh at the sight of a gigantic brown wolf with it's jaw hanging open as wide as possible. That is if the person didn't run away screaming first.
The large white mansion looked like it fit right there among the tall trees that surrounded it. I could only see the backside of it from my position on the other side of the river; the wide windows that offered the residents an amazing view on the surrounding area, the porch that surrounded the first floor was a perfect area for the family to gather and spend some quality time together, the backyard garden that could make those Englishmen run for their money.
Before.
The windows were stained… the white paint on the wooden porch chipped leaving the wood unprotected against the rain and snow… the garden covered in fallen leaves and full of knee tall weed… the house was forgotten…
But it wasn't deserted.
The sound in the wind that brought me to cross the treaty line, the melody so beautiful it was painful to listen it was coming from inside. Someone was still there.
And that someone was in deep agony.
I remained hidden in the trees too afraid the player would somehow learn I'm here. But not afraid that he'll attack me, no, I was afraid he'd stop playing.
So I stood there, silent as a nature that surrounded me and felt my heart weeping with the every note played. And it made me wonder… if I felt this pain from listening what was the pianist feeling? And what drove him to play such a destructively beautiful song?
As the hours were passing by the feeling of the melody started to change. It was still the same song, he had played it over and over again, but this time the pain was no longer there. The melody seemed purified of its former despair till all that remained filled me with unexplained happiness.
And at the same time made me drowsy. Why I had no idea; it just did.
And cause of that I decided, with a heavy heart, to return in the reservation and report to the elders. I did send one last glance in the direction of the house though before running away, just to burn it in my memory. Cause I doubt I'll ever have a chance to see it again.
I ran towards the city, which I supposed to do few hours ago but didn't due to the musical distraction, before changing direction and going down the familiar path towards my home.
Ten minutes later I crossed the reservation border and slowed down. I needed to clear my thoughts before facing the elders. They will most likely want to know why I was away for so long; probably thinking I came across a Cold One. And I wasn't sure I wanted to tell them the truth, I had to, but I didn't want to. But if I wanted answers I would have to.
And right now I did want them. I wanted to know why there was a vampire still residing in the house when I was told they all left? Did something happen fifty years ago? I was a protector of the tribe for two years now and whole time left believing all of them moved away.
They waited for me already; standing in front of Jacob Black's red house.
I went inside, which wasn't the easiest thing seeing the house wasn't all that big, and walked directly in the second bedroom to change. One sweats and a baggy t-shirt later and I was ready to face them.
"Anything?" Sam Uley asked as soon as I stepped out.
I sat down opposite of them before answering "No. I ran the whole length of the treaty line and haven't come across of anything… remotely dangerous for us."
They looked at each other before turning back to me. And I gulped. They knew. Somehow they realized where I was. Darn.
Sam was frowning; he was the former alpha and that still gave him some rule over me. Technically seeing I was the only one phasing at the time I supposed to be my own alpha but the world just isn't fair.
"You went over the treaty line." He stated seriously. I didn't even bothered denying it.
Jacob stood up and walked to the fridge. He picked a six-pack and returned to the table before taking a deep breath and asking "Why?"
"I heard music. And I followed it to the source."
"And you found what?" he asked. But I knew he knew what I found.
"A house of the coven that lived here before." I said calmly.
"And?" he asked again.
"And… it wasn't deserted like you told me. Not all of them left." It was hard to contain my anger inside of me. But I had to; if I lost control I could phase and seriously injure the three older men.
They once more shared a look before Quil Ataera spoke "Tonight on the cliff we'll held a bonfire like in the old times. And there we will share stories and legends. And explanations."
I nodded quietly before standing up and leaving the house. I knew the meeting is over so there was no reason for me to stay. My questions will not be answered till tonight anyway.
Some of the guys greeted me as I passed them on my way but most of them simply ignored me when I was in their presence. We were all descendants of the former pact members and knew from early age one of us would start phasing. And by some freaky chance it was me. And I suppose they weren't happy about it. Of course the chips could have fallen differently and it's impossible to know how I would have react in the situation.
I went directly home to rest. Usually I visited a friend and told her about the patrol but I had a feeling she would be invited on the bonfire tonight. After all her grandfather was in the old pack and Quil's words made me believe I wouldn't be the only one listening to what had to say tonight.
It was little after five when I woke up. The sky was already getting dark due to wintertime. That meant I should head to the cliff in few hours, probably around eight. The old guys liked to have their dinner at certain time, probably some fish fry and beer.
I made my own dinner like I did for the past five years since the death of my parents. My grandparents offered to take me in but I appreciated solitude too much. And my grandma was known in the rez as a dragon-lady due to her… grouchiness. 'Biting your head off' weren't just empty words in her case.
By the time I finished eating it was almost six. Time simply flew by. But that meant I still had two hours left and those would probably pass at snail tempo like always when one is eager about something.
So I cleaned the house, put a load of laundry in he washing machine, washed the dishes that I used, threw out some of the food from the fridge that started to mold-a proof how often I have a chance to eat properly and changed into jeans and a sweater. I may not feel the temperature fluctuation anymore but that doesn't mean I can go out wearing clothes that had wholes in them.
What would the people say?
With a good half an hour to spare I headed towards the cliffs. Some of the guys jumped from them in the sea during summer months. Ok, I did too but just once. Running in a wolf form gives me all the adrenaline I need.
Surprisingly I wasn't the first one there, Sue beat me to it. She is my friend and a cousin. Our grandparents are siblings; her grandfather and my grandmother.
"Do you know why the elders called us here? According to my granddad there hasn't been a bonfire in a long time." she asked as I sat next to her.
"Something happened today during the patrol." I said but before I managed to give any further explanation she interrupted me.
"What? Did you came across one of the… you know?"
"Not exactly. But there was one there." She was looking at me with her mouth wide open as I spoke.
"I don't get it. Did you came across him or her or not?"
"Patience is a virtue Sue." Jacob's voice startled us. He was first of the elders that arrived and was followed by a group of older men. They were from the previous generation although only one of them phased. It made me wonder if the guys from my generation would be present too.
"Sorry." Sue muttered blushing.
They all sat down around the wood that was already prepared to be set on fire, and started to talk among them. If my father were alive he would be sitting here with us too. And he would have been very proud that from all the children it was his that continued the line of the protectors.
Sam and Quil arrived together followed by few older men. They weren't as prominent but people knew them, how could they not? Embry Call, Paul Meraz, Jared Connweller. They were some of the members of the last large pack where San was the alpha. Those guys were practically legends. And little after them arrived Seth Clearwater and Leah Addison-my grandma and her baby brother.
As everyone settled, to my surprise none of the guys from my generation were invited, and the fire burned illuminating everyone's forms and warming us Sam cleared his throat to gain our attention. He looked wise; his hair began graying and his eyes revealed he had seen a lot of things, not always nice things, in his life.
"Many years ago our forefathers have came across a coven of Cold Ones hunting on our territory and got ready to attack and destroy the enemy like they had many times before. But the coven leader was peaceful man who spoke rather then fought. And so he revealed our people another way their kind could take, a path in which they hunt only animals. Their coven followed him in that; a prove of it was the dear they were feeding of when the pact found them.
That day they made a treaty that states they are free to abide in this area without fear their secret would be revealed but in return they agreed to a treaty line that would not be crossed. Under any circumstances." He looked at me as he said the final sentence and I looked at the floor. It's been a while since I felt like a child that is being scowled by its parent but I still recognized the feeling. I may not be a child anymore and he is not my father but tell that to my brain.
"They remained for several years before moving away. And the wolves were no longer necessary for several decades. Until the coven returned, larger then before. They had two more members who followed their diet so that counted seven. And because of that the wolves appeared again. I was the first one to regain the form our ancestors once had and six more followed. And for the first time there was a female wolf in the pact, something the legends never mentioned before. But a precedent happened among the Cold Ones as well. A mind reader among them, the only lone member of the coven found a mate… in a human."
As soon as Sam stopped in his telling the whispering started. This was the first time any of us heard about it, apart from the members of the old pack, and… let say we weren't pleased about that.
"You are just as enraged about it as we were back then. Jacob in particular since he knew the girl personally. But soon things have proven to be completely opposite from what we expected." He smiled suddenly, which was weird cause it wasn't a cheerful story he was telling "We were in patrol when we found them, on a neutral territory, on a meadow in a forest. She watched him there, in the sunlight, as he truly was and it didn't mattered to her. And I saw in her… she watched him in the same way my Emily looked at me. Vampires don't imprint like wolves do but the principal is the same. When they found a mate their love is absolute and boundless. And it goes both ways. She loved him with same force as he loved her. So we decided to let things go their own way and didn't interfere in their relationship. We knew she would be in constant danger among his kind but a vampire would always protect his mate. And he did… till something unpredictable happened."
Quil sighed "I was patrolling my perimeter with Seth that night when we came across a crashed car. It looked as the driver lost control while avoiding an animal or something similar. But the smell that lingered in the air and inside the car was telling otherwise. There was a vampire involved in the accident we just didn't know how."
He turned to Jacob who looked like he was I pain "The coven leader called the same night and requested a meeting in a neutral area. We arrived in a full number as did they and instantly our suspicion was confirmed. The mind reader looked like a burning man. That night we found out exactly what went wrong and how potent her blood was to them. It was her Birthday that day and they organized a party for her. And as she was opening a gift she cut herself on a paper. It was he beginning of the end. The coven leader said only one of them lost a control and bit her. The attacker was pulled away but the girl fell down on a glass table before anyone could react and it broke. And a long shard went directly to her heart. The venom injected in her body was enough to seat the flesh wound but her heart gave up the fight."
"What did you do? Did you destroy them?" one of the men from the previous generation asked.
"No." Sam said calmly "I demanded to know who it was, the treaty stated I had to right to know so we can punish the killer. But instead of the direct answer the mind reader asked if he admits would he be destroyed. Of course I knew it wasn't him but the pain he felt by losing his mate made him suicidal."
"So you let it pass?" Sue asked shocked.
"Destroying either of them wouldn't accomplish anything. They already lost a daughter, sister, and a mate. And that alone was a punishment, a sentence they would all serve for as long as they exist. The first prove was given at the funeral."
Jacob then took over the telling "Being befriended with the deceased I attended the funeral as did my father who knew her father very well. The vampires were present as well. Six of them stood among the gathered folk. The mind reader stood alone behind everyone. It was a beginning of the punishment he put on himself. That day after the funeral he spoke to him mate's father and apologized for not protecting her enough and he was forgiven… but that didn't helped. While the others returned to school he remained in the house, enclosed in the four walls and battling with the despair. It was before Christmas that the coven leader called and requested a meeting."
"We weren't completely honest with you." Quil said and everyone focused on him wondering what he might mean "The reason why there must exist a wolf at all times, the real reason, isn't a simple precaution. The coven left fifty years ago after that last meeting… but not all of them left."
"The music I heard…" I muttered.
The three elders nodded before Sam continued the story "The mind reader stayed behind, he could not bear to part from his mate. Even though she was gone forever. But he rarely left the house. During the time after the others left and till the last wolf from my pact stopped phasing he only went out to hunt every few months. More often, at night, he would go to the cemetery to visit his mate."
"The music you heard today…" Jacob turned to me and everyone else followed "We all heard it. He plays for her often like he did while she was alive. You phase for a single reason: to ensure the safety of our people. For the genes in your body sense the presence of an enemy but do not know… he now exists only to remember."
My surrounding was blurry, unfocused. I knew I was standing in my room but it didn't look the same. The color of the walls was different, the furniture stood in all the wrong places, even the window was on a wrong wall, and… is that a jewelry box on he desk? I don't even have one of those. The one that belonged to my mom is still on the vanity in the master bedroom.
Looking around, trying to find anything that was still the same I noticed a mirror hanging above the dresser. And then I noticed a reflection wasn't as hazy as everything else. And just then, after seeing myself in the mirror did I noticed the unusual attire I was wearing. Never in my life did I own or wore anything so… formal and… classy.
A noise made me turn away. Footsteps on the hard wooden floor. Someone else was in the house.
I tried to move as quietly as possible, first to the bedroom door, which opened silently, and then down the hallway towards the living room. A shadow danced on the wall, a clear prove there was someone there. But when a second shadow appeared I stopped. I was outnumbered.
"Come on out kid." I heard the all too familiar voice.
"Jacob?" I asked stepping in the living room "What are you doing here?"
He turned towards the second person and I gasped. A vampire! There was a vampire standing in the middle of my living room! And on top of it his eyes were black as coal and he watched me with hatred clearly written on his face.
And as Jacob's form began to blur the vampire became more and more clear in my eyes. He reached for me and opened his mouth like he wishes to say something when a sudden pain in my hand made me flinch.
And then it happened.
A burning pain washed through me; a source of it was at my neck. I was bitten. I gasped for air and reached for the wound. I could feel the blood on my fingers, I could feel the lightheadedness and nausea. And my surrounding began to blur even more. And I'm certain that I fell on the floor.
A face appeared above me. I could not tell who it was but I think it was a girl. She apologized for not helping me, for not stopping it.
And then… the wolf howled.
I gasped and sat up before closing my eyes once more so the feeling of dizziness can pass. The sound of a clock on the wall and the water drops were a clear sign I fell asleep on a couch in front of the television. I'm gonna have to do something about that damn leaking pipe. I could hear that thing dripping all the way in the kitchen.
After shaking my head to clear my thoughts I opened my eyes and looked around. The living room looked just the same as it always did, no sign of the intruding vampires anywhere, not even the scent that would have lingered in the air.
It was all a weird dream.
And Jacob Black was in it for some reason as well. And for that reason I decided to tell him about it and ask for help in figuring it out. Perhaps it was just a reaction on the story they told us but that was ten days ago. Why didn't the damn dream bother me sooner? Why did it have to be on the day that, according to the weatherman, supposed to be sunny? First one in a month and instead of enjoying the warmth I had to go and talk to an elder.
Could things get even worse?
And the answer to that question is-yes, it can. By the time I finished breakfast the gentle breeze turned into a full-blown storm. It's was a lousy weather to be outside but I had no other choice but to leave the warmth of my home if I wanted to talk to Jacob aka. Chief Black. Hopefully it would calm by tonight.
Running patrol during a strong wind was a hardest thing I ever had to do. And the biggest problem wasn't the fact the wind sometimes blew against me making it harder for me to run. No, it was the smells. First time I ran at such a lousy weather I smelled a vampire's scent and began to follow. And followed it I did. All the way to Niagara Falls. After that I gave up.
I watched the phone with a wistful smile. It would be so much easier to just call him but the old man had other ideas. I think it's because his only family lived miles away in Boston he came up with a rule for who ever was phasing- if you need to talk to me then do it in person, I won't answer your calls.
Walking pass the jacket that hanged in the hallway I opened the front door and walked outside. It wasn't necessary to lock my doors, no one would break in, and that made my life a bit simpler. It's not the easiest task to find your keys after phasing in the middle of the forest. Usually I went to Jacob's house, which is closest to the forest, striped and phased before going to patrol but sometimes it cannot be planed.
The very first time I went to patrol I left my clothes in a bag hanging on a tree branch in the forest and the morons from the reservation took it as a joke. It was since then that I use Jacob's house as some sort of a pit stop. It was strange to use the Chief's house for something like that but he said he was okay with it but I had a feeling there is a lot more to the story.
There was no one outside but that was to expect. You had to be pretty stupid to go outside at such weather… or had something very important to do.
The red house came into view and I saw Jacob coming out of the garage. He noticed me and waived but I didn't had a chance to answer when a sudden change of wind brought their scent. The Cold Ones were out there.
In a heartbeat my form was no longer that of a human but of a brown wolf. Jacob's eyes were wide as he witnessed that because he knew, right away he knew, something was wrong.
I don't remembered when was the last time I ran so fast but I had this feeling in my chest that it was a matter of life and death. It felt like someone was holding my heart in a grip and if I were too late it would get ripped out. Unfortunately I had no idea where I was exactly going and when exactly would I be late.
There was a light in front of me, a clearing in the forest, from which the scent was coming. And the voice, lovely voice that without a doubt belonged to a female vampire. He voice sounded like bells chiming but her words were full of venom.
I prayed she was distracted enough so she wouldn't notice me approaching. I wanted to see more clearly what was going on and whom she was talking about. According to the second scent it was also a vampire but I don't thing they were friends.
"How does it feel to be all alone? Hmm? Abandoned by your family and your little human mate. She died, didn't she? A shame really, I hoped I would get the chance destroying her just as you destroyed my James."
They were definitely not friends. I crouched down on the leaf-covered floor and observed the figures in front of me. The man stood still in a middle of a meadow with his head bowed down so he was looking at his shoes and the woman danced some wicked dance around him. Her hair was a fiery red cloud with twigs and leaves sticking out of it. And the man… my eyes widened. It was him! The one from my dream.
"I waited for fifty damn years for my chance. Do you know where I was all this time? I was in Italy." She grinned when the man lifted his head and looked at her "Yes, I was with the Volturi. Aro found my gift fascinating so I decided to stick around. Report your little pet while I was there too. Unfortunately she was already dead so there was nothing they could do. Pity. I would have enjoyed seeing her death with my own eyes. What was her name again? Bella?"
I don't know what exactly was that made me attack. If it was hearing the name or the way the female vampire talked about the girl, or if it was the look on the male's face. I just couldn't let it pass. I left my hiding place and jumped on her surprising her.
But the female obviously had experience in fighting cause she threw me off and got ready to attack. Her eyes were black as coal and she hissed at me exposing her sharp teeth. At that moment I questioned the sanity of my decision to interfere. I was once told it's too late to cry over spilled milk and now I realized what that meant. Damn.
"Well, well, what do we have here? Did the puppy misplaced his ball?" she asked before jumping on a tree branch, something I wasn't capable of doing.
I growled at her and she just laughed. Coward.
From the corner of my eye I noticed the male looking at me with his mouth wide open. I suppose he believed no one was phasing anymore. Surprise! I am!
The woman jumped down and moved towards the male and I attacked. I wanted to protect him for some reason… I just couldn't remember which one it was. But she must have expected it cause she changed direction and went directly at me. And guess what? It felt like I ran head first in a garden statue. The garden statue won.
In the next few moments I knew I was flying through the air till my back hit something solid and rough that couldn't take the impact and braked. It became hard for me to breath as the pain spread through my entire body and in next few moments the black dots that danced in front of my eyes completely overtook till there was nothing but blackness around me.
And I slept.
Missing all the good parts.
The female stopped in her tracks seeing the naked body on the floor, the wolf regained its human form and she hadn't expected to see what was lying there in front of her.
And truth to be told neither did the male. But he read the mind of the redhead, he knew what her next move was and he couldn't allow it. He attacked. All the rage, hatred, despair, and self-loathing accumulated in the past fifty years were now transformed into raw strength. It might have been almost three months since he last hunted and he should be weak, by vampire standards, but it was like he got an adrenaline rush.
It took less then a minute for her to start pulling back and panic. And in the last desperate attempt she tried to do what she did best and ran away. She wasn't fast enough.
The purple smoke polluted the clean air and he frowned. The sweet smell was disgusting. Turning away from the fire he glanced on the form still unconscious on the floor. He couldn't just leave so he took off his shirt and covered the naked body before lifting it in his hands like it weighted no more then a phonebook and running home.
The elders were all gathered when he called to inform them what happened. It was the first contact he had with them… anyone in a half of the century and it felt strange for him when they announced their arrival. His family members called before but he never picked up, not even once.
With uncertain steps he approached the piano before sitting down. He stared at the keys for some time before beginning to play the song that wrenched his heart each and every time. But now the pain didn't feel so sharp anymore.
I opened my eyes slowly. The surface below me supposed to be cold and wet but it felt rather comfortable. Too comfortable. This wasn't my bed I way lying in. Looking around I noticed the fancy dresser and a matching vanity and opened door that led to a massive wardrobe. And then I noticed the whole south-facing wall was made out of glass… and I knew where I was. In a vampire house.
I practically jumped out of the bed before noticing what I was wearing. A light blue shirt and a pair of boxers that weren't exactly my size.
I planed to walk towards the windows and check out the view when I registered the soft sounds of the piano coming from downstairs. The same song I heard back then when I first saw the house.
The sightseeing could wait.
As I walked down the wooden staircase I noticed him sitting on a piano bench and playing. He was facing away from me but from what I knew about his kind… he knew I was standing there. But he didn't said a word, just played the bewitching melody that made me move even closer till I was standing next to the raised portion of the floor on which the spectacular black grand piano stood.
"Edward…" I whispered. And the music stopped.
"You remember." He said standing up and turning to face me.
I frowned "I don't know. I want to."
He opened his mouth to say something but he must have heard something cause his head snapped in the direction of the front door. Moments later the doorbell ringed "Come in." he called.
I was surprised when Sam, Jacob, and Quil walked inside. What surprised me even more was the look all three of them were sending me.
"You knew." I mumbled "For how long?"
Jacob was the one to answer "From the beginning. I was with your father when he received the call from your mother that it was time. So I went along to keep him company, I knew how hard it is to wait patiently in the hallway while your wife is screaming in the room and you can't do anything to help her. And when you were born and we were allowed to enter… I saw you and I knew. You are a child of two Quileutes and yet…"
He didn't need to finish that thought. I knew what me mean. I looked nothing like my parents. As I child I was picked on a lot because of my appearance. Even some grownups commented there was a chance of a mix-up in a hospital. They all shut up when I phased.
I looked away from them and into the mirror that hang on the wall. My threats that separated me from everyone else on the reservation; pale heart-shaped face, pink slightly out of balance lips, boring brown eyes and wavy brown hair. Everything I despised about myself for making me look out of place, for turning me into an outsider among my own people. I… they weren't so bad anymore. I wasn't a freak of nature. I was special.
"Bella?" Jacob called making me look away "We should head home."
I looked away from him towards the other two elders. They seem to agree with him. I did too to be honest. The reservation is the only home I know but… looking at Edward I noticed the small spark in his eyes. The blackness didn't look so threatening anymore.
"Come on." Sam encouraged noticing my hesitation.
"You want me to stay?" I asked Edward.
And he gave me the simplest answer "Yes."
"No!" Jacob snapped "You had your chance and you wasted it. She isn't the same person! She isn't your Bella!"
Edward frowned "She isn't yours either Jacob." My eyes wondered between the two of them.
"Stay out of my head!" he hissed at the Edward.
"You still resent me for winning her heart. Even after fifty years you are bitter because it wasn't you she picked."
"That's a lie. I only wanted for her to be happy."
I turned to Sam and he noticed my gaze "We kept you unknowing, especially after you started phasing, because we feared the past might repeat itself. Your parents had the task of reporting if you had any flashbacks or strange dreams while you were growing up."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My own parents…
"It was for the best." Jacob said.
"For the best?" I asked icily "And who gets to decide what is best for me? You?"
"You were always so damn stubborn… Even before… I would have kept her safe but she picked the bloodsucker and look where it brought her!"
"It brought her back." Quil muttered. He was the only one who kept silent during the argument and now when he spoke we all focused on him but his eyes were looking directly at Jacob "Death couldn't keep them apart so you shouldn't try either because you will certainly fail and we will lose not only one of our people but also a protector."
"Now listen Quil-" Jacob tried but he was cut off. Quil obviously wasn't one of those who allowed being silenced.
"Let it go Jacob. You took too many rights when it comes to Bella. But the truth is you have absolutely no right to tell her how to live her life. If she chooses to stay here then we will accept it and move on."
"It's my duty to protect her!" Jacob snapped "Mine!"
I closed my eyes to stop the tears from falling. How could…? I trusted Jacob my whole life, I told him things I didn't even told my parents. He and his late wife Sandra would take me in without a question every time I got in an argument with my mom or dad and needed to get out of the house. Sandra and I would then make muffins and talk about the most insignificant things.
I sniffed and while the elders still argued among themselves and didn't notice it Edward did. I felt an icy cold hand on my shoulder and turned my head towards him. He smiled sadly and I looked down. It's all my fault, I started this. If only I didn't followed the music… If only I ignored the scent…
"What ever you choose, I will respect it. If you wish to return to your home then go. I'll wait right here for you if you ever want to visit."
"Yes, be reasonable and come back home." Jacob said, it sounded like I was a small child and needed to be scowled for disobeying. I didn't appreciate that.
"Let's just say for the arguments sake that I'm not reasonable and don't want to come home. Will you respect my wish and let me live my life or try and force your will?" I asked. Edward looked at me strangely and a small smile appeared on his face.
"We will respect it as long as you keep fulfilling your duty as a protector of the Quileutes." Sam said, the tone of his voice stated that is a final decision and no one would disobey it.
"In that case I'm staying right here. I'll run patrol every other night as usual and come to the reservation to file a report but I won't be living there anymore."
Jacob shook his head "The others won't approve of your decision."
I snorted "And when did they approved of anything I did? From the moment I was born I was an outcast. A mixed up in a hospital… a freak of nature… framed baby… even after I first phased they hated me…"
"It was to strength your character." He stated calmly.
"And remembering what was before would weaken it? How?"
"You would be guided by your former memories instead of the things we taught you." Jacob pointed out. He was right to an extent. If Edward broke the treaty I couldn't kill him. But there was no way I would admit that.
"But knowing the past helps me so I don't repeat…" I bit my tongue; literally, to prevent myself from saying what I wanted to cause it didn't come out right.
"So you don't repeat all your mistakes?" he asked smugly "Or just one in particular?"
"It can never be a mistake to love." I stated before turning to Edward "I'm staying and I hope you'll help me in my attempt."
He smiled at me "Which attempt?"
"To regain all the memories of my heart."