Stolen Memories of Devotion
*Synopsis: What will happen when Elena goes to confront Damon about turning Bonnie's Mom (Abby) only to end up with Damon accidentally triggering Elena's memory of the night he first confessed his love for her then took it all away? Takes place after 3x15 "All my Children"
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from TVD… not even Damon sadly but I do like to play with him when I can :D Flashbacks and quotes in this chapter are from 2x08 and 2x18 and I don't own them either.
Chapter 1 –
Elena was still crying as she made her way to the front door of the boarding house. She doesn't know why she decided to come here after leaving Bonnie's house once it was clear that she was unwelcome. God knows she doesn't need a fight right now, which is what always happens when she confronts Damon about the horrible things he does to save her. But she needs to understand. She needs to know why he did it, knowing that it would once again crush the friendship that they had just put back together. Taking a deep breath and wiping the salty tears from her face, she opens the door and walks in.
As she enters the house she heads towards the parlor, knowing that's where he will be as usual. She also knows that he has been able to hear her from the moment she stepped foot on the property. She stops in the doorway to the parlor and finally lets her eyes fall upon the one person she cares for and somehow also hates most in life… Damon Salvatore.
Damon stands by the liquor table, with a tumbler of his best bourbon in his hand and his back towards the love of his life. 'Ironic considering I've been dead for over 145 years now', he thinks to himself. He can feel her eyes burning holes into his back as she waits for him to acknowledge her presence.
'Well looks like I'm in for the tongue lashing of my unlife… and not in the way I would like either.' He smirks to himself at his last thought as he brings the glass to his lips to finish it off. He takes a second to enjoy the burning sensation as the harsh liquor makes its way down his throat. Then without turning around he opens his mouth and starts round one.
"Staring is rude you know… especially after you've already just walked into someone else's house uninvited."
Elena is startled when he speaks and realizes that she had zoned out just watching him and waiting for him to say something. She recovers quickly and pulls herself together as he puts down his glass and slowly turns to look at her.
"Well lucky for me I don't have to work around things like invitations into peoples' houses like you do. And I also seem to remember you and Stefan signing this place over to me so… technically… it is my house."
She mentally smiles to herself as she sees a look come across his face clearly showing that he had forgotten that little tidbit.
Damon slightly cringes when he realizes she's right. 'No matter.' He takes a few steps towards her and gives her his patented smirk, seeing the fire in her eyes that he loves so much and is part of the reason he fell for her in the first place.
"Well look who wore her big girl panties to the party…" He chuckles when he sees the look of anger on her face.
"I take it you didn't ride your high horse over here just for witty banter soooo… What do you want Elena.", Drawing out her name as he says it, with the sole intention of ruffling a few of her uptight feathers for the fun of it.
Elena pauses for a moment, slightly taken aback at the fact that he clearly wants to get right to the point instead of teasing her for as long as possible like he usually does. She watches him as he turns back around and walks to pour himself another drink. When it becomes obvious that he's not going to return to staring her down with that icy blue gaze of his that always manages to somehow see right through her, she crosses the room to stand a few feet behind him.
"I need to know why, Damon," she whispers, knowing he will have no problem hearing her.
His hand clenches around the glass as he takes another drink before saying anything.
"Why what?"
"Don't play with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about." She pauses, "You have always been brutally honest with me… and that's what I need you to be right now."
She sees the tension in his back as he thinks over the night's events, readying himself to give her what she's asking for.
Damon knew this was coming but for some reason he wasn't dealing with it as easily as he thought he would. 'Why is she doing this to me? Why can't she just hate me and not want anything to do with me ever again, instead of coming here and wanting to talk about it and then deciding to hate me?'
When he made the decision earlier this evening that it would be him that would be the one to turn Abby Bennet, even though Stefan lost the coin toss, he did it with two memories playing through his mind over and over. The first one was the argument he had had with his brother the night that the littlest Bennet witch faked her own death.
"You know you could've told me," Stefan said as he walked down the hallway, following behind Damon.
"How do I know when you're gonna go blabbing things to your girlfriend?" Damon replied, rolling his eyes.
"Do you understand what you've put her through?"
"See… that's why I didn't tell you. Cause you would've never been able to do it. Don't get me wrong, Stefan; I don't mind being the bad guy. I'll make all the life and death decisions while you're busy worrying about collateral damage." He pauses, "I'll even let her hate me for it... But at the end of the day I'll be the one to keep her alive."
The truth in those words is what has kept him strong through moments like these. Moments where her reaction to all the necessary, nasty little things he does could possibly break him. But of course he would do it all again in a heartbeat, without blinking if he had to. And why wouldn't he… he is the evil brother after all, the monster in their midst. Well, according to most, anyway. But none of them really know why… why he does what he has to: for her.
Elena walks out of her bathroom ready to crawl into bed after the long horrible day. She doesn't notice him until he speaks, slightly startling her.
"Cute P.J.s," he comments.
She freezes and looks at him. "I'm tired, Damon."
He gets up and walks towards, her holding her vervain necklace up. "I brought you this," he says with a smirk plastered on his face.
"I thought that was gone."
At the look of surprise and happiness on her face he shakes his head no with a slight smile.
"Thank you," Elena says as she moves to accept the necklace from him, only to have him pull it back out of her reach with a pained expression on his face.
"Please give it back," she says, starting to get worried about what he is going to do.
"I just have to say something." Elena takes a step back as Damon takes one towards her.
"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?" She questions.
He pauses and a contemplative look crosses his face before he answers.
"Well, 'cause what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life."
"Damon, don't go there."
"I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it."
He closes the gap between them and fixes his cerulean eyes on her warm chocolate ones before continuing.
"I love you Elena. And it's because I love you that… I can't be selfish with you… And let you keep doing this. I don't deserve you. But my brother does."
Tears start to well up in his eyes as he leans forward to give her a gentle kiss on her forehead. He pulls back and tucks some of her hair behind her left ear.
"God I wish you didn't have to forget this."
As a tear starts to roll down his face he compels the memory away as he whispers, "But you do."
Damon snaps out of his thoughts when he hears her voice.
"Damon please." She whispers as she grabs his shoulder, getting him to turn around and face her again.
"You wanna know why, Elena?" He snaps at her, startling her a little.
"I did it for you." He practically growls.
"I did it to save your life for the MILLIONTH time!" He shouts, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling and leaning his head back to emphasize "millionth."
She takes a second to process his words and realizes that she already knew that would be his answer. Remembering the night he told her that, given the choice between her life and someone else's, he would always choose her.
Watching her take in his words he decides to ask her the one question that had been on his mind since he had turned Abby.
"Would you rather it have been Stefan that did it?" He softly asks her, not meeting her gaze when he realizes the question caught her off guard. She probably hadn't yet realized that if he hadn't been the one to do it then her precious Stefan would have.
She stumbles back a few steps as the shock of the whole situation hits her. He didn't just do it for her; he did it for his brother, too. She couldn't seem to wrap her head around it. Damon was supposed to be the selfish, cocky ass who only did things for himself. And yet here he is right in front of her, willing to take all of her hate and anger over something he did to keep her alive, and also so she wouldn't have to hate Stefan for killing someone.
Tears well up in her eyes again as she looks up at him and realizes just how much he actually loves her. So much so that he would risk losing her forever just so she didn't have to feel the pain that Stefan killing Abby would have caused her.
Elena backs up until the back of her knees hit the edge of the couch and she slowly sits down, needing a minute to get her thoughts and feelings in order before continuing their conversation.
She looks up again and watches Damon as he pours himself yet another drink while he gives her a moment to herself. Watching his every movement, she thinks back on everything he has ever done for her and sees how his love has been on display for the whole world to see in all of his actions.
She can't help but think about Stefan and wonders what he would do if the situation was reversed and he was in his brother's shoes. 'Would Stefan let me hate him and give up his chance with me if it meant that me and his brother might one day be happy together?'
When the answer comes to her after thinking it over, it suddenly feels like her body has been dropped into an ice bath. 'No… Stefan would never give me up so I could be with Damon. Not even if he knew that was what I wanted. He would just keep trying to win me back.'
Before even realizing that she had made a conscious decision to move, let alone to go to him, she has closed the distance between them and is standing in front of him where he is now leaning back against the window.
Staring into his eyes trying to find answers as tears slowly run down her face, she takes a deep breath and once again asks him, "Why?"
Damon reaches his hand up to touch her cheek, giving her a small smile when she leans into his hand as his thumb brushes a tear from her beautiful face. Knowing once again exactly what she is asking, he decides to just give her a straight answer this time instead of toying with her and riling her up like he loves to.
He leans forward until their foreheads are touching. She closes her eyes, enjoying the contact. They share a peacefully quiet moment together as she waits for his answer and as he works up the courage to give it.
"I don't deserve you," he finally whispers before pulling back to look at her.
"And I won't… I can't be selfish with you. I just can't."
He takes a step back, breaking all physical contact with her as he tries to gain control over his emotions while waiting for her response.
As he moves away from her, Elena has a strange feeling of déjà vu come over her that she can't quite grasp but that oddly has her feeling like her heart is shattering into pieces. She looks at him with growing alarm as she starts to feel dizzy and the world starts fading to black.
Noticing her start to collapse, Damon catches her before she hits the ground and cradles her in his arms. As he starts to panic and worry about what could be wrong with her, he almost doesn't hear the last words she utters before unconsciousness takes her over.
"You said that before."
A/N - Ok cliffhanger I know... but since this is my first story and actually first attempt writing period I want to know what you guys think before I write anymore. Do you love it? Do you hate it? Does it have any potential? Give me anything guys and I will seriously appreciate it :D