Candyland, a south park fanfic

I heard this song and just had to make a song-fic for it!

Disclaimer- Candyland is by Blood on the Dance Floor and South Park will never belong to me.

WARNING - Strong use of bad language and suggestive themes

"What did you call me for, Cartman?" Kyle asks crossly. He really didn't want to put up with Cartman's shit today.

"It's not Cartman, dude." A voice replied.

"Kenny? Is that you?" Kyle asked, perking up slightly.

"Yeah babe, you need to get over here. Like now." Kenny said. Something about his voice made Kyle think he was smirking.

"Why?" Kyle asked suspiciously.

"Because Cartman said I could stay the night because of my parents trying to beat me up, and he isn't here right now and I have something to show you." Kenny said.

Kyle contemplated this. "Did he say when he's be back? I don't want to be there when he does."

"He isn't coming back til tomorrow, he's staying at Wendy's house. Wanted to spend some quote unquote 'Alone Time' with her." Kenny says.

"Gross, ok I'll be there soon."

"Kay, see you soon, babe." Kenny says huskily before hanging up.

Kyle put up the phone up and smiled to himself. He must really love Kenny is he was agreeing to go over to Cartman's house.

"Mom! I'm going over to Cartman's house!" Kyle shouted to his mother who was upstairs playing with Ike.

"Are you going to stay the night, Kyle? It's beginning to get pretty late." His mother shouted back.

"Yeah, Cartman's mom said it was ok." Kyle lied.

"Oh, Kyle. Be safe." His mother shouted.

Well that was easier than lying to her face. Kyle thought as he headed out the door. He began walking towards Cartman's house, eager to see his boyfriend. In a small bit of excitement, Kyle broke into a run. He reached Cartman's house in almost no time at all, panting heavily as he walked up to the door and knocked.

Kenny answered the door, when he saw who it was he burst into a grin. "Hey, babe. You look like you ran over here, were you excited to see me?"

"You know it." Kyle said, eyeing Kenny who currently didn't have his orange hoodie on.

"Like what you see?" Kenny joked.

"Oh, most definitely. Now what did you want to show me?" Kyle asks, kissing his sixteen year old boyfriend on the cheek.

Kenny gives a Cheshire Cat grin and pulls Kyle inside the house. He drags him up the stairs and into Cartman's bedroom. "Sit on the bed." He orders as he walks over to the computer.

"Why?" Kyle asks as he obeys.

"Cause I said so. Don't you trust me, babe?" Kenny asks, turning towards Kyle and giving him innocent looking eyes.

"Not really, you did try to put me in a dress that one time." Kyle says.

Kenny rolls his eyes and mutters something along the lines of "You know you loved it." but Kyle didn't pay attention because the room was suddenly filled with music.

Ladies and Gentlemen:
Whores and Sluts
Step right up, behind this curtain
Is where all your fantasies come to life
This is a place where you can escape
Welcome to CANDYLAND!

"Kenny, what is this?" Kyle asked only to be shushed by Kenny.

"Just listen to it, babe."

Let me show you my game (Watch!)
I put those shoes to shame (Ooh!)
These rhymes that I write
Make you wanna fuck all night
When we take our clothes (ahh..)
She sucks me til it snows
I'll fuck her face so hard
She is my wild card (sweet!)
My sticky lollipop
Inside this sweet gumdrop
I'm bout to explode
It feels to good to stop (mmm!)
Just taste my tootsie roll
You rub my icicle
I gotta get my fix
Please lick my pixie stick

Kyle's eyes widened in surprise. What the hell was Kenny making him listen to?

Welcome to Candyland
I'll split your ass in two
So take me by my hand
Like it up, Slide it down
And satisfy my sweet tooth
Welcome to Candyland
You'll wanna fuck me twice
I'll be your gingerbread man
First time naughty
Second time nice
Candyland! Candyland!

"Kenny! Turn it off!" Kyle shouted over the music.

Kenny walked over to Kyle and pushed him onto his back. "Listen babe, you can either listen to this song quietly or I can make you be quiet." He said in a playful yet warning tone.

Kyle snapped his mouth shut and Kenny patted him on the head.

Just close your eyes and dream
A fantasy so obscene
I'll take you by the hand
This is my Candyland
You are my sweet playground
Swallow my love til you drown
I'll be your backdoor man
Welcome to my Candyland

"I really don't like this, Kenny. It's gross." Kyle mumbles but thankfully Kenny didn't hear him. Kyle shuddered to think what Kenny might do to him if he had heard him. He might have tried to make him dress like a girl again…or worse!

You want my cock (Mine!)
But it's mine
So take a number, and get in line (What!)
Whip cream and astroglide
Take off my wrapper, an' slip and slide
Sticky like a lolli
Blow me til I pop
You can sample all my flavors, at my candy shop
Gum shoots, gum drops, double fists, and blow pops
Trick or treat, squeeze my meat
Gimme something sweet to eat
Slip and slide on my face
You got that flavor I wanna taste
Lick it red hot
Like your candy cane
You'd think I was a zombie
By the way I give you brain

"Is it over?" Kyle asks quietly.

"Yep, wasn't that just the coolest song ever?" Kenny asks. "It really gives me ideas." He says raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"It gives me an idea too." A familiar voice said. Both Kenny and Kyle look over to see an angry and slightly disgusted Cartman standing in the doorway. "It gives me the idea to kick you both out of my house. And Kenny, get off the Jew-rat!" he orders.

Kyle just then noticed that Kenny was straddling his hips and had a hand somewhat up his shirt.

"Are you sure you don't want to join us?" Kenny asked.

Next thing Kyle knows, both he and Kenny are throw out of Cartman's house and into a pile of snow.

"You had to offer for him to join didn't you?" Kyle asked angrily. "You couldn't have just kept your mouth shut."

"Sorry, Kyle." Kenny said humbly.

Kyle smiled and kissed Kenny on the cheek. "How about we go to my house and play Candyland?" he asked smirking sexily. The look on Kenny's face was worth the idea of playing Candyland with him.