Hey you guys I was in a really whack mood earlier, so I came up with this fic. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Err . . .
Little Black Book
By: DirtyMagik
X:::X:::X:::X
A perfectly fine day, Naruto was on his way home from Icharaku, his daily hang-out. Nobody would have guessed that something interesting was going to happen in a few minutes.The blonde fox boy ran eagerly down the street towards his home, when something stuck in the bushes caught his eye.
Something shiny and black was jutting out from beneath a shrub.
Like they say, curiosity killed the fox, eh. . I mean cat, anyways. . .being the simple-minded fellow he was, Naruto shuffled over and investigated.
Ahh . . upon closer inspection, he sees that it is only a small book, he turns to leave, but wait! That infamous sly grin crosses his face. Naruto stops and thinks, maybe. . . just maybe. . .
He turns around and picks up the book, opens it slowly, as if some kind of shinobi attack was going to pop out.
Nothing happens, so Naruto proceeds to peer into the book, thinking it is one of those books guys keep with girls' numbers in them.
No such luck, it seems to be a lesson book, BORING!
He is about to toss it back onto the ground, but one line catches his eye.
A Mary Sue must possess infinite grace and dexterity . . .
Now our friend scratches his head
Mary Sue? What's that?he thinks in his head.
He returns to reading the book, while he also starts heading for home.
Lesson One: A Mary Sue must be beautiful, not JUST beautiful, STUNNINGLY beautiful, her legs must be long and slender, her hair must be shiny and soft, her hands must be delicate, her face must be worthy of Snow White's mirror
Naruto realizes he has started to drool upon the mental image, he keeps reading as he keeps walking.
He flips the page, as lesson one continues.
A Mary sue must possess infinite grace and dexterity, she must have the physique of a professional ballerina, shoulders back, neck long, arms balanced with the rest of her body. She must walk feathery light, as if each step she takes is on the belly of a sleeping giant.
Naruto briefly shuts the book, and begins to walk the way the book instructed. He places one foot in front of him lightly and gently, unfortunately, our friend Naruto doesn't seem to have been born with the power of a Mary Sue, he loses his balance and falls over with a ::thud::
The fox boy sighs and reaches for his keys, as he unlocks the door, while he continues to the third page.
A Mary sue must have the eyes of a bewitching Goddess. Preferably blue, green or violet, no man likes a girl with dark eyes, if the hue of the iris is too dark, the man will not be able to see into her pure soul, and they will not be able to stare into each other's eyes longingly.
The eyes must be soft, large, and the lashes must be long, fakies or mascara will work if one does not come from an advanced, long-lashed bloodline
Wow. . .Naruto thought, I never knew it was so hard to be a Mary Sue
He walked into his house and turned on the lights, still engrossed in the amazing new book he had found.
A Mary Sue must have a sing-song voice that every man would pay to hear, she must be soft-spoken, yet her voice must hold firm, her tone shall never rise above yelling, and it should remain like pure honey at all times
The fox boy quickly changed into his pajamas and climbed into the bed, eager to finish lesson one before sleeping.
Finally, A Mary Sue must ALWAYS aim to be the embodiment of beauty, as if she was hand-picked by the Goddess of Beauty herself, keep that in mind, and stay with us for lesson two
Naruto turned his lamp off and lay back in bed thinking, 'Sugoi, I wish I could meet a Mary Sue . . .'
No Naruto, you don't, you really don't.
::End Chapter One::
Yah okay, that was short and crappy ;; I guess I'll write the second chapter if anybody wants to read it.